Galaxy Quest Page #7

ALEXANDER:

Oh my god, It's real.

GWEN:

All this from watching the.. historical records?

MATHESAR:

Yes, and from your supplementary technical documents, of

course...

He motions to another alien who withdraws a number of brightly

colored BOOKS and BOXES from a backpack. The actors look through

the various FAN BOOKS and ENTERTAINMENT SOFTWARE bearing such

titles as "THE OFFICIAL GALAXY QUEST BLUEPRINTS: NSEA PROTECTOR"

and "VIRTUAL GAAAXY QUEST: THE CDROM EXPERIENCE." The actors

exchange glances and then... Tommy begins to giggle. Alex looks

at him, at the fan stuff, then out at the ENORMOUS SHIP, and he

begins to laugh too... The others join in laughing like maniacs,

hysterical, disbelieving laughter, as they head toward the GIANT

SHIP.

33INT. PROTECTOR - CORRIDOR

The group walks down the corridor, peeking into various rooms,

more awestruck every second. As they pass each room, the CREW

MEMBERS inside salute. FEMALE crew members pass occasionally,

saluting and offering "Hello Commander's to Jason. This does not

escape Gwen's notice.

(Guy always seems to be just outside the group, a little late,

always trying to see between their heads...)

MATHESAR:

The medical quarters are to the left...

The actor's WHISPER to Jason, all at once...

TOMMY:

What the hell is going on?!!?

ALEXANDER:

Jason, what have you gotten us into?

GWEN:

I don't believe this, it's insane.

FRED:

Wow, the floors are REALLY clean.

JASON:

Calm down everybody. We're just here to negotiate General

Sarris' surrender.

ALEXANDER:

"Just!?"

MATHESAR:

Weapons storage...

JASON:

It's perfectly safe. I promise.

MATHESAR:

... Maintenance facility...

GWEN:

Jason, this is crazy! We should get out of here...

MATHESAR:

Situations room... Dining hall...

4/29/99(GREEN)

JASON:

You want to go home? Fine. Say the word, and we'll all go home

and feed the fish and pay the bills and fall asleep with the t.v.

on and miss out on THIS. Is that really what you want? Anybody?

A beat. Clearly nobody wants to leave. A beat.

MATHESAR (cont'd)

The main barracks...

TWO HUNDRED crewmen rise to attention. Jason salutes back.

JASON:

At ease men.

ALEXANDER:

(awed)

Like throwing gasoline on a fire...

Alex turns to Guy, who is smiling ear to ear.

ALEXANDER (cont'd)

What?

GUY:

I'm just jazzed to be on the show, man.'

33AOMIT

34GENERATOR ROOM

The group enters. The centerpiece of the room is a large

pulsating ORB. When the orb dims, we see its surface has a rocky

texture, like a large boulder. Many TECHS scurry about tending to

the surrounding measurement devices.

MATHESAR:

The generator room... Our Beryllium Sphere, of course... I hope,

Tech Sergeant Chen, that this meets with your approval.

Fred runs his finger along a gleaming copper tube with authority.

FRED:

Fine... Real clean.

Three YOUNGER CREWMEN approach and whisper to Mathesar. They

argue a bit, then Mathesar reticently approaches Fred.

5/4/99(GOLDENROD)

MATHESAR:

Tech Sgt. Chen, I am sorry to ask this of you so shortly after

your arrival. But members of our reactor staff have a question

they find most pressing.

FRED:

Uh huh?

LAHNK:

Sir, we have had unexplained proton surges in our delta unit.

They cannot be verified on the sub frequency spectrum, but appear

on the valence detector when scanning the Beryllium Sphere. We

are unable to resolve this problem and were hoping you would be

able to advise us.

Everyone turns to Fred. Silence.

FRED:

Uh huh... I see... Well, that's a puzzler isn't it?...

The others exchange glances, wondering what he'll say. Then Fred

turns to one of the Techs.

FRED:

U.... What do you think?

NERVOUS TECH:

That possibly... The valence bonds have shifted bi-laterally?

FRED:

... What does that mean?

NERVOUS TECH:

What does that mean?!!! Yes, I see! Yes... It means that

perhaps... the... bonding molecules have become covalent?!...

FRED:

Covalent... Right. So...

NERVOUS TECH:

So our solution is to introduce a bonding substrate! - A two

molecule compound sharing a free electron - and bombard the ions

with their reflective isotopes!

4/29/99(GREEN)

FRED:

OK!

The other TECHS grin, astonished.

LANK:

Of course! It's so obvious!

TECH #2

Sergeant Chen, you're... a genius!

Fred waves off the praise modestly. Mathesar shoots a look to

Lahnk as if to say "we're in good hands here."

MATHESAR:

Now I suggest that you rest before we take the ship out of dock.

These crewmen will escort you to your quarters.

4/29/99(GREEN)

PAGES 34-35 OMITTED

4/29/99(GREEN)

34AOMIT

34BINT. MEDIA ROOM

Tommy's escort NERU hands over various weapons to a grinning

Tommy.

NERU:

Here is your valence shield. Your vox. Your magneto-pistol... We

know you prefer a sensitive trigger. If there is anything else

you require?

TOMMY:

Uh, no, I'm good. Thanks.

(Neru starts to exit)

Oh wait. Here you go.

Tommy stuffs a couple of bucks into Neru's hand. Neru looks at

the tip, perplexed, and exits.

35INT. HALLWAY

Alex's young escort, QUELLEK, leads him down the hall.

QUELLEK:

Dr. Lazarus... I hope that I'm not breaching protocol but.. I am

so very humbled to stand in your presence... I have studied your

missions extensively... Though I am Thermian, I have lived my

life by your philosophy, by the code of the Mak'tar.

ALEXANDER:

Well good, that's very... nice.

QUELLEK:

(emotional)

By Grabthar's Hammer, Dr. Lazarus, I-

ALEXANDER:

Don't do that. I'm not kidding.

QUELLEK:

I'm sorry, sir, I was only-

ALEXANDER:

Just don't.

QUELLEK:

...Yes sir.

(they come to a stop)

Your quarters sir.

36INT. ALEX'S QUARTERS

Quellek opens the door and they enter. The room is a grey square

completely barren.

ALEXANDER:

This is it?

QUELLEK:

Yes sir. Marvelous, isn't it? Completely distractionless.

ALEXANDER:

Where's my bed?

5/4/99(GOLDENROD)

Quellek pushes a button and SIX LARGE SPIKES rise from the floor.

QUELLEK:

Just as on your home planet, sir. If I may say, it took me three

years to master the spikes, but now I sleep with a peace I never

thought possible...

ALEXANDER:

Is that the bathroom?

QUELLEK:

Yes sir... The use of your waste facilities were strangely absent

from the historical records, so we had to extrapolate purely on

the basis of your anatomy.

37INT. ALEX'S BATHROOM

They enter. Alex looks down at a thing that looks more like a

torture device than a toilet, with elaborate 'tubes and stirrups

and plugs going everywhere.

QUELLEK:

You're quite complicated, sir.

Alex stares at the thing, despairingly.

38OMIT

39INT. GWEN'S CABIN

An exotic and beautiful room. Gwen is changing into her GALAXY

QUEST uniform. There's a knock on the door.

JASON (O.S.)

It's Jason...

GWEN:

One minute I'm -

(he enters)

Hey, I'm dressing.'

JASON:

Oh come on, it's not like I haven't-

She finishes and turns.

4/20/99(BLUE)

They just look at each other for a moment. Gwen breaks out into a

smile, trying to find the words.

JASON (cont'd)

Yeah, I know.

GWEN:

I just can't believe it. Any of it! Look at this room!.. They

designed it based on the Tuaran Pleasure ship from "historical

document" thirty seven.

(looks at a mirror)

Oh and wait, wait, listen to this!

(looks up)

Computer?

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