Galaxy Quest Page #8

COMPUTER:

Yes?

GWEN:

What's the weather like outside?

COMPUTER:

There is no weather in space.

GWEN:

I never get tired of that joke.

JASON:

Let me try. Computer? (no response) Computer?...

GWEN:

Only answers to me.

JASON:

But I'm the Commander!

GWEN:

On the show I talk to the computer and repeat what it says. So

that's what they built.

JASON:

C'mon, we're wanted up on the command deck.

But Gwen holds her ground.

GWEN:

Wait. When are you going to tell them?

4/20/99(BLUE)

JASON:

Tell them? About...

GWEN:

Who we are. Don't you think they're going to be PISSED?

JASON:

Are you kidding? I'm not going to tell them.

4/20/99(BLUE)

GWEN:

Well you have to tell them. What if something happens? We're

actors, not astronauts... We can't do this stuff!

JASON:

It's not the STUFF. I mean, anybody can learn the STUFF... The

important thing is COMMITMNT. 99% of anything is just committing

to it.

GWEN:

Ninty-nine percent of ACTING is commitment. ACTING. Stella Adler

never manned a resonance cannon, she taught ACTING...

Gwen moves toward the door.

JASON:

Hey... Hey where are you going?

GWEN:

We have no right to do this. They deserve to know.

JASON:

Gwen... Gwen, c'mon, wait, no!

Just then the door opens. Laliari enters.

LALIARI:

Lt. Madison. The females of the ship have requested your imprint

for archival purposes at the proposed Tawny Madison Institute for

Computer Research.

Gwen looks at Laliari, her eyes softening as she imprints her

hand in a glowing PAD.

GWEN:

The Tawny Madison Institute...

Jason smiles. He knows he's got her.

GWEN (cont'd)

Well... maybe we could stay a LITTLE longer...

She brushes past Jason, and they exit.

4/6/99(PINK)

40INT. HALUWAY

Jason and Gwen turn a corner and join up with Tommy, Alexander

and Guy. They keep walking toward the command deck.

TOMMY:

What's going on?

JASON:

I think we're going to exit the space port.

GUY:

That should be something to see...

41INT. COMMAND DECK

They enter and gawk at the familiar hub, waiting for the show to

start... not realizing they ARE the show.

MATHESAR:

If you would all take your positions...

THE ACTORS:

Oh, right... US! Yes, of course... US!

They take their positions, marveling at the familiar control

panels in front of them. Tommy turns to Guy.

TOMMY:

Look.. This thingy... I remember I had it all worked out. This

was forward, back...

MATHESAR:

Commander, some of the crew has requested to be present at this

historic event.

Mathesar motions and a few CREWMEN enter, followed by a dozen

more... followed by FIFTY more. They stand around the periphery

of 'the room, watching eagerly. Tommy turns to Guy.

TOMMY:

No pressure, huh? Glad I'm not the Commander.

COMMANDER:

Okay, Lareo, take her out.

Everyone in the room turns their attention to Tommy. His

sarcastic smile drops. He looks mortified.

TOMMY:

Excuse me?

JASON:

They designed the ship from watching you. So... Take her out,

Lieutenant...

Tommy stares down at his control panel. It's pretty self

explanatory, a throttle and a circular dial for direction. But

daunting nonetheless.

TOMMY:

Right. Okay, yeah, sure.

Everyone's eyes are glued to him as he moves the throttle forward

slightly. The ENGINES COME TO LIFE, a massive exhilarating sound.

Tommy giggles nervously. His hand trembles as he pushes the

throttle further. The ship start to move. The actors exchange

worried glances.

TOMMY:

Oh god. Oh my god....

42EXT. SHIP

You can feel the WEIGHT of 'the giant craft as it eases forward,

sliiding through the sides of the dock.

43COMMAND DECK

Everyone watches the forward monitor. Tommy turns the NAVIGATION

DIAL slowly. Guy whispers to him...

GUY:

More to the left... Stay parallel...

TOMMY:

Hey, YOU want to drive?

44EXT. STAR DOCK

Indeed, the ship is slightly off course... It's like trying to

get out of a tight parking space with concrete walls to either

side. And the ship is veering ever so slightly into one of the

walls.

4/29/99(GREEN)

45INT. COMMAND DECK

Tommy turns the dial to correct... But it looks like the momentum

might carry the ship into the wall anyway... Tommy PEGS the dial

to the left... The others hold their breath as the bow of the

ship moves closer and closer to the wall... Then... It TOUCHES.

The sound of a soft but high pitched SCRAAAAAAAPE.

TOMMY:

Oh sh*t.

46EXT. STAR DOCK

The ship is stopped, just grazing the wall EVER SO SLIGHTLY.

47INT. COMMAND DECK

All eyes are on Tommy. He doesn't know what to do... Should he

continue forward, or back up, and scrape again for sure? The

classic parking lot dilemma, magnified by ten thousand. Tommy

grasps the throttle and moves it slightly forward... SCRAAAAAAPE.

He keeps going, in too deep to back out now... And the ship

continues to SCRAAAAAPE for a couple of horrible seconds as it

completes the curve... And then it is free. The beautiful craft

glides slowly out to open space... Jason and the others let out a

sigh of relief.

JASON:

Very good Lieutenant. Forward Mark two...

Tommy smiles, relieved. He pushes throttle to the "2".

TOMMY:

Mark two, Commander.

48EXT. SHIP

The ship glides out to space, only a relatively minor scrape of

the paint job to show for the incident.

49INT. DINING HALL

The crew and various aliens sit around the large table, eating an

extravagant meal. Mathesar makes a toast.

MATHESAR:

To our brave guests. Few in this universe have the opportunity

to meet their heroes. We are blessed to count ourselves among

them.

4/29/99(GREEN)

JASON:

Wherever a distress signal sounds among the stars, we'll be

there, this fine

ship, this fine crew. Never give up, never surrender!

Everyone clinks glasses. Quellek tips his glass to Alexander as

Teb turns to Tommy.

TEB:

We are sorry about the instrumentation, Lt. Laredo. There must

have been a malfunction in the steerage mechanism.

TOMMY:

(stern)

Just see that it doesn't happen again.

TEB:

Yes sir.

(to Gwen)

How are you enjoying your food, Lt. Madison?

GWEN:

Oh it's fantastic. French is my favorite.

TEB:

Yes, we programed the food synthesizer for each of you based on

the regional menu of your birthplace.

(turns to Alexander)

Are you enjoying your Kep-mok bloodticks Dr. Lazarus?

Alexander, miserable, toys with a bowl of living insects swimming

in a disgustingly vomit-textured broth.

ALEXANDER:

Just like mother used to make.

He pushes the bowl away, nauseated.

DISSOLVE TO:

DINING HALL - LATER

The actors are wilted, half asleep as Jason goes on...

JASON:

The beast ROARED as I PLUNGED the knife again and again... I held

on for dear life as it thrashed about! And that was

(MORE)

4/29/99(GREEN)

JASON (cont'd)

the day :
learned that a Kilve Serpent bleeds red. (beat) What

price man? What price man?

ALEXANDER:

Tell me, Mathesar, this Sarris bloke we're flying to meet... What

is it he wants exactly?

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