Galaxy Quest Page #9

MATHESAR:

For years, Sarris has plundered the resources of our planet. Our

people, our technologies. We built this ship in order to find a

new planet to settle. One far away from Sarris. We are not a

people accustomed to confrontation. We are scientists. This ship

was our salvation.

A tick jumps off of Alexander's spoon back into the soup.

MATHESAR:

But Sarris found out about our plans just as we had completed

construction of the

(MORE)

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MATHESAR (cont'd)

Protector II. He heard about the device... The Omega 13.

GUY:

The Omega 13... Why does that sound so familiar?...

GWEN:

The lost footage. At the convention. The mysterious device in our

last episo--historical document.

TOMMY:

What is it? What does it do?

MATHESAR:

We don't know.

GWEN:

But... You built one, right?

TEB:

We built... something... from the blueprints and what references

we could find on your internet... Our computer neural nets made

educated guesses in areas we were uncertain. So there is

actually much about the device we don't even understand. We were

hoping you could enlighten us.

JASON:

Well, it's... This was a device we...

(looks around for help)

discovered on an alien planet. We don't know what it does

either.

TOMMY:

Why don't you just turn it on and see?

TEB:

It has at its heart a reactor capable of generating unthinkable

energy. If we were mistaken in our construction by even the

slightest calculation, the device would act as a molecular

explosive, causing a chain reaction that would obliterate all

matter in the universe.

ALEXANDER:

Let me at the switch.

4/26/99(PINK)

JASON:

Mathesar?. .. Has Sarris seen the.. historical records?

MATHESAR:

NO, Thank God he has not.

JASON:

Then how did he find out about the device?

MATHESAR:

Our former Commander was not... Strong.

JASON:

Former Commander?

MATHESAR:

I'm sorry. You deserve to be shown.

He nods to a Crewman who pushes a button. A wall panel moves

aside to reveal a large VIEWSCREEN. An image appears with a lot

of static, and the sound cuts in and out...

MATHESAR:

The tape was partially demagnetized as it was smuggled off of

Sarris' ship.

But through the static we can make out an image: The former

Commander, in ALIEN form, Is strapped to a metal board. Each of

his wrists and ankles is secured with mechanical devices and

twisted in different directions.

MATHESAR:

Originally, one of our own tried to lead...

ONSCREEN Sarris stands over the alien with a control panel.

SARRIS (ON MONITOR)

Is that all? You have no more to confess to me? No? After three

days of this you still require incentive?

Sarris moves switches on the panel. The device pulls at the

alien's limbs, twisting them horribly. Bones crackle.

ALIEN COMMANDER (ON MONITOR)

I say again... I have told you all I know. To my shame, I have

told you everything. If you have any mercy within you, please,

let me die.

4/28/99(YELLOW)

SARRIS:

Oh I shall, I shall... When I grow weary of the noises you make,

my little plaything, be assured, you shall die...

Sarris toys with his control panel. Mercifully the screen fuzzes

up with static and we can only HEAR the bone chilling SCREAMS...

We PAN around the table, past GWEN, ALEXANDER, TOMMY, GUY...Their

mouths open in horror as they watch the screen. Camera stops on

JASON. He stares, the blood draining from his face.

50INT. HALLWAY

The actors walk down the hallway behind Jason, panicked.

GWEN:

We're leaving, Jason. We're leaving NOW.

JASON:

Let me think. I need time to think.

ALEXANDER:

He wants to THINK!?

TOMMY:

No, Jason, that's a wrap! There's nothing to think about!

GUY:

Listen, I'm not even supposed to BE here. I'm just Crewman #6.

I'm expendable. I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove that

the situation is serious! I'm leaving NOW.

Mathesar comes running up, looking distressed.

MATHESAR:

Commander...

JASON:

Mathesar, I need you to prepare pods for my crew.

GWEN:

Your crew? What about you?

Jason looks torn. He starts to say something, but-

4/28/99(YELLOW)

MATHESAR:

Begging your Commander's pardon, sir, but we cannot launch pods

at the moment. Sarris will surely detonate any objects leaving

the ship. (beat) Yes sir, he's

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4/26/99(PINK)

MATHESAR (cont'd)

here now. Your presence is required on the command deck.

Everyone reacts, alarmed, and we

51INT. COMMAND DECK

The actors enter the empty deck followed by Mathesar.

GWEN:

There's nobody here. Jason...

JASON:

Mathesar, maybe we should get some of your crew up here.

MATHESAR:

I thank you for your consideration to our pride, but while my

people are talented scientists our attempts to operate our own

technologies under tactical simulation have been disastrous.

He leans over to Gwen's computer station as she sits, and pushes

a button.

MATHESAR:

I have raised Sarris on zeta frequency.

GWEN:

Uh... Great. Thanks.

JASON:

Still, Mathesar, your crew may nonetheless be helpful in certain-

But he is interrupted by the sight of SARRIS appearing on the

large VIEWSCREEN. Sarris now wears a metal eyepatch, and has a

long scar across his cheek.

SARRIS:

We meet again Commander.

The crew stares at Sarris. A frightening visage.

JASON:

Yes... Hi Sarris... How are you doing?

SARRIS:

Better than my Lieutenant. He failed to activate ship's neutron

armor as quickly as I'd hoped on our last encounter.

He brings into view a stake with the impaled head of his former

Lieutenant.

JASON:

Right. Well... Listen, I'm (laughs) I'm sorry about that

whole... thing.. before. It was kind of a misunderstanding. I'm

sure we can work this out like reasonable people... How's the

uh...

(motions to his eyepatch)

... that going to heal up? God, I hope so, I feel just awful

about that.

SARRIS:

Deliver the device now or I will destroy your ship.

JASON:

Listen, I'd like to, but frankly.. I'm not even sure where it is,

or even...

SARRIS:

You have ten seconds.

JASON:

All right. You got it. You win. I'll deliver it now. Just give

me a moment to set it up.

Jason motions to Gwen to cut the transmission. Gwen nods.

JASON:

All right, now nobody panic, I've dealt with this guy before and

believe me, he's as stupid as he is ugly.

GWEN:

Jason..

JASON:

We're going to fire everything we've got at him, all right?

GWEN:

JASON...

JASON:

You just keep pushing those buttons, those there, send everything

at him, okay?

Guy looks at the buttons labeled with icons of armaments.

GUY:

...Okay

JASON:

All right. Put me back on with him.

GWEN:

I'm trying to tell you. You ARE on with him.

SARRIS:

Perhaps I am not as stupid as I am ugly, Commander.

Jason turns to Gwen horrified.

JASON:

I made the CUT THE LINE gesture. You nodded okay.'

GWEN:

I thought It was the "We're dead" gesture! I was agreeing! Like I

know where the hold button is???

JASON:

(nervous jovial)

Listen, Sarris, you can't blame me for trying...

SARRIS:

Of course not...

GUY:

Guys... Red thingy moving toward the green thingy. Red thingy

moving toward the green thingy!

JASON:

What?

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