Gendarme Et Les Gnedarmettes, Le (Never Play Clever Again) Page #4

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Think hard.

- I do, but I come up with nothing.

Think harder.

Oh no. Not Jospha.

Not Jospha.

Cruchot, now is the moment.

Have her put on a uniform.

That's an order.

I have to help arrest the maniac.

It would be criminal to refuse.

Take this bag too. And this.

Details are important.

Ready?

- At your service.

If anything happens to her, I'll

eat your liver wrapped in bacon.

In five minutes you go out

alone and follow this route.

Cruchot. Where is Cruchot?

Cruchot, you wait for her here.

I hate you.

- We'll keep an eye on you.

I'll put men on all

strategic locations.

I forbid you.

- Do you have a better idea?

Yes.

Fig Tree here.

Take over, Lemon Plant.

Lemon Plant here.

I'm not losing sight of her.

Lemon Plant and Almond Tree.

She's being followed.

She defends herself well.

Papa Cruchot isn't wearing

the pants at home.

A new one, with a bracelet. I

wanted to grab her, but I failed.

It stinks of police here.

Raspberry Bush,

she's coming your way.

Understood.

Hello Sugar Cane, Raspberry Bush here.

Your wife is coming by here now.

Where did she go?

The bracelet.

The last part of the code.

Not exactly Miss Universe.

Oh no, a transvestite.

A gendarme.

Lock him with the girls.

You let them eat the bait.

And where's Cruchot now?

What are you doing here?

What? Is that you?

We followed you all night,

in uniform.

Ludovic went in my place.

Where is he?

- So that wasn't you back there?

We'll find him.

- Has he been kidnapped too?

That's what happens when

you don't obey orders.

Find him, quickly. This is taking too long.

Or I'll activate the contingency plan.

But what do they want?

- Our bracelets.

Not mine.

Who kidnaps five women

for their bracelets?

You. Come here. Quick.

- No, leave him here.

Hello, Mr. Cruchot.

Your computer has some

interesting information.

If you have a code of 16 digits.

Four digits engraved in four

bracelets, that's...

Sixteen digits.

Is that why you kidnapped them?

All four bracelets have been made

on different locations.

The girls didn't know a thing about it.

Well keep the bracelets and

return the women to me.

First, I want to test the code.

Without witnesses.

And before the minister arrives.

You want the gendarmerie empty?

- For one hour.

And don't warn anybody,

or the ladies...

Will I get them back right away?

- Promise.

My son. You're walking around in

womens' clothes now.

Such devilish fantasies.

- The nation is in danger.

Finally. We've been looking

for you all night.

Where were you?

What happened to you?

I've forgotten everything.

I woke up under an olive tree.

You made our last operation fail.

But he did go in my place.

A beautiful gesture, isn't it?

Our women are still missing.

I don't care.

- It will be alright.

Off to mass, you.

- I'm not a catholic.

Go get baptized then.

And the three of you...

Go with him and bring two

jerry cans of holy water each.

Will that help find them?

- God promised.

And you, Jospha,

go get some groceries.

Groceries.

- I already did.

Go back.

- What do you need?

Three melons.

What does all of this mean?

Should I get some candy?

It's five to. Get me six packs

of tobacco in Cogolin.

Why in Cogolin?

- It's better there. The microclimate.

How will the tobacco help?

Don't ask me to explain, trust me,

in the name of France.

And the women?

- Outside, in the car.

After delivery.

Send him away.

What's wrong?

- They stole my...

They motored my stole bike.

And what can I do about that?

- Arrest the thief.

I'm not on duty.

- Then I want to file a complaint.

There's nobody here.

- No.

I see somebody.

- The cat.

She's furious. She bit me.

I'm contagious.

Done. I've got them.

Right, come on.

Here they are.

- Thank you.

My women.

- Get in, Mr. Cruchot.

You gave me your word.

Mr. Cruchot, you're so naive.

What do you mean?

We now have the plans for

the XZ missiles...

...that you want to install

on the Lrins Islands.

And some information about Larzac.

But you and your gendarmettes

now know way too much.

And we definitely have

to eliminate that risk.

I'd be surprised if they

let us go after all this.

What did they do to Cruchot?

The same they'll do to us.

Let's make ourselves look

pretty for the Lord then.

That's not my purse,

it's yours, Yo.

Thank God, we still have a chance.

Your famous transmitter.

Is it strong enough?

Enough to reach some radio amateurs.

You can try it,

but it might be too late.

Stupid.

Yo Macumba.

Inform the gendarmerie.

We're imprisoned and in

mortal danger on the Albacora.

Fortunately, I know the shortcuts.

Darn.

Thank you, Lord. Very nice of you.

Yes, I'm coming.

Careful. Wait. Take it easy.

Free your legs. Like that.

I just heard an SOS from

the gendarmettes.

In mortal danger on the Albacora.

They're asking for help. Quickly.

- Let's go.

Don't push me.

Why did they kidnap us?

The secret code of the computer

was engraved in your bracelets.

Now we're lost.

- Yo sent an SOS.

I understand their secrecy.

The machine knows more state secrets

than all intelligence services combined.

And now we sell

to the highest bidder.

Shall we get rid of

our guests?

Why not.

The rope? The knife? The gun?

The sea is deep and the fish are hungry.

I want to be killed first.

- Alright.

And you can all

make a last wish.

I want to spend my final

moments in a man's arms.

I want to enjoy one more time...

- That would be my dearest wish too.

Don't defile your uniforms.

We'll take them off.

I forbid you.

For me it's different.

I'm wearing civilian clothes.

The old woman stays here.

- You're rude.

She's a beautiful, seductive lady.

Now you tell me that, Mr. Cruchot,

now that we have so little time left.

We're lost.

- Keep it together, dear friend.

Who could have imagined?

Certainly not the sergeant.

Why were you always so reserved?

Because of Jospha, the sergeant...

Our futures were already planned.

Now they converge.

Forever?

Yes. Feel how my heart beats.

At least 110.

You're in violation. The limit is 75.

I'm going to fine you.

Come on, Ludovic,

give me a little bit of love.

Allow me to call you Jospha then.

How nice of you to show up after all.

- You only have to take this.

Where's my wife?

- There.

Will you join us for a drink?

Gentlemen...

Cruchot.

Sergeant.

Germaine.

Alphonse, I knew you'd come.

Apparently, you get along very well.

I demand an explanation.

The air-conditioning was broken.

Death was near. Freezing cold.

A bit of warmth among friends.

A beautiful, pure friendship.

The gendarmerie...

- Enough. I want the truth.

Why did you send me to Cogolin

for six packs of tobacco?

Congratulations, colonel.

The girls were in good hands.

There were risks,

but I could rely on them.

Can I talk to you for a moment, Excellency?

Am I interrupting?

- It's confidential, colonel.

Outrageous. I bet they'll start

a union soon, pompous prigs.

Excellency, somebody stole

our computer secrets.

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