Get Him to the Greek Page #14

ALDOUS:

I just don’t get that.

AARON:

What’s there to get?

ALDOUS:

Why are you in a relationship?

What is the advantage of it?

AARON:

I don’t like choosing stuff, likewhere I have to go to dinner. Or

my clothes. I like that my outfitsget laid out for me. I wake upevery morning and my shirt ispicked out for me, my jeans arepicked out for me, it’s nice.

88.

ALDOUS:

You’re fascinating.

do? Like at night?

What do you

AARON:

I don’t know. I watch TV.

Grey’s Anatomy.

Like

ALDOUS:

Is that with that guy, McDreamy?

Yeah.

AARON:

ALDOUS:

I know him. I f***ed him.

No way.

AARON:

ALDOUS:

I was in a bad way. I’d justbroken up with Kelly Osborne. I

know that bloke. We had sex.

(awkward silence)

What do you do for your birthday?

This is just fascinating. I’ve

never met anyone like you.

*

AARON:

Last year my family and Daphne’sfamily had dinner and went to seeCapote. How about you? What’d youdo for your birthday?

ALDOUS:

Me and about ninety-five peoplewent to Richard Branson’s privateisland and had an ecstasy party andthen went out in a hot air balloon.

AARON:

I’m not going to lie.

seems awesome.

Your life

ALDOUS:

But it’s missing love, Aaron.

Don’t you see? I want love the wayyou have love. Without love, I’m

gonna become that bastard we justspent twelve hours with. I want a

lady to pick out my clothes. And

not just an assistant who I pay.

*

*

*

89.

AARON:

Is there a specific someone?

ALDOUS:

I’m in love with Jackie Q. I know

it now. She’s so gorgeous and sexyand has these perfect tits.

Really, something. Like an angel’stits. And she always kept meguessing. I was with her at this

party in Monaco and she leans overand whispers to me “I’m wet.” She

just said that to me, you know,

like she was telling me theweather, with McCartney and JudiDench and the Dalai Lama juststanding like two feet away. I

swear I fell in love right then,

right there. Then later that week,

we’re at a nightclub in Goa and shewent and made out with Emma Bunton

right in front of me. Under

different circumstances I would

have been happy to be seeing this,

this would have been my idea ofnirvana. But not this time. This

time I was mad. And as I watched

them make out and strip and beginthe process of engaging in oral sexI got angrier and angrier till I

realized this was love, I was in

love.

*

*

*

Beat.

ALDOUS (CONT’D)

We have a kid together, you know.

I haven’t seen the tyke in years.

Beautiful child.

AARON:

That’s amazing, man. That’s the

reason we’re here on Earth.

ALDOUS:

It is, isn’t it? I even pay hischild support but I don’t mindcause I love him so much. And her

too.

AARON:

Why’d it end?

90.

ALDOUS:

I don’t know. I just don’t. I

want her back. She lives in LA and

I want to see her and get her back.

But I don’t know what to do. Like

when I first see her, what do I do?

AARON:

Just be honest and tell her how youfeel. A good relationship, ifthat’s what you want, is all abouthonesty. The one thing is and I *

don’t want to get into this if itdoesn’t matter, but isn’t she...

engaged... to Paul Allen?

ALDOUS:

(turning dark)

You’re right, if I’m honest I’llget her. And once I’ve gotten herI can finally put an end to thisinterminable, miserable singlelife. Presently I can go whereverI want with whoever I want and do

whatever I want to whomever I want.

It’s not as good as eating dinnerat 6:30 with the same person andhaving nothing new to talk about

ever. It’s like when I was on

Branson’s private island in anecstasy orgy with these two Indianmodels I was like “I wish I was

locked in a small apartment in LosAngeles with the same personforever.”

Aaron’s unsure whether to be offended or laugh it off.

ALDOUS (CONT’D)

I’m just joshing with you, man.

I’m jealous.

AARON:

Oh, you.

Aaron playfully pushes Aldous. Aldous playfully pushes Aaronback. Aaron playfully pushes Aldous back. IN ONE LIGHTNING

QUICK MOVE, Aldous unlatches the car door on Aaron’s side and

PUSHES AARON OUT THE DOOR. We see in one shot, no cuts, as

Aaron flies out the door and tumbles behind the car onto the

highway. Cars swerve around his body. In the recedingbackground we see Aaron JUMP UP and dive away from two carsthat SMASH into each other.

91.

A DRIVER of one of the cars HOPS OUT and PUNCHES Aaron in the *

face. Aldous casually hits the divider button in the limo. *

ALDOUS:

It seems my compatriot has fallenout of the vehicle.

The Limo Driver looks in the rear window and SCREECHES to the

side of the highway.

EXT. HIGHWAY

Aaron stands about a hundred yards from the limo.

INT. SUV LIMO

Aaron sits as far from Aldous as possible, completely andtotally terrified.

ALDOUS:

It was just a joke. I didn’t *

realize you’d take it thispersonally. *

AARON:

I’m fine. I’m just going to getsome shut eye.

Aaron closes his eyes. He leaves them a little open so hecan keep an eye on Aldous.

EXT. FOUR SEASONS LOS ANGELES - DAY

Aldous and Aaron pull up in front of the Four Seasons.

CHYRON:
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA. TWELVE HOURS UNTIL THE

GREEK.

AARON:

So if you need anything pleasecall. Otherwise I’ll be seeing youtomorrow late afternoon pre-

concert.

ALDOUS:

This is how we leave it? With youbeing so cold, just icing me out.

AARON:

Not being icy, just protective ofmy life.

(MORE)

92.

AARON (CONT'D)

You have my contact information.

If you need me you know how toreach me.

Aldous gets out of the car. The car takes off. Aaron picksup his cell and dials.

INT. SERGIO’S OFFICE *

Sergio is doing pilates like a master. He answers the phone. *

SERGIO *

Speak. *

AARON:

Aaron Greenberg. Aldous Snow has

been delivered to his hotel. *

EXT. JACKIE Q’S BEL AIR MANSION - DAY

Aldous, in a limo, pulls up outside the mansion.

ALDOUS:

Thanks, mate.

Aldous gets out of the car and heads towards the front of thehouse. He knocks on the door. Jackie Q answers.

JACKIE Q:

Well f*** me.

ALDOUS:

Alright.

INT. JACKIE Q’S BEDROOM - DAY

Aldous and Jackie have finished having sex.

ALDOUS:

I missed that.

JACKIE Q:

Me too. You’re like walking sex. *

You know that, right? *

ALDOUS:

As are you my dear, as are you.

NAPLES, a six year old of indeterminate gender, comes in.

93.

NAPLES:

Mommy, nook! Nook!

Naples holds up a very sharp kitchen knife.

JACKIE Q:

Now what are you doing with that,

Naples?

Nook!

NAPLES:

Naples makes a stabbing gesture with the knife.

JACKIE Q:

C’mere, Naples, and say hello toyour friend, Aldous. *

ALDOUS:

And father.

*

*

Nook!

NAPLES:

ALDOUS:

What a beautiful child.

Naples’ Jamaican Nanny, SUZETTE, pops her head in.

SUZETTE:

Sorry about that, Ms. Jackie.

JACKIE Q:

Leave him. He’s perfection.

Aren’t you? Aren’t you?

*

Aldous picks up Naples and holds him upside down.

oddly good with Naples.

Aldous is

ALDOUS:

Are you a monster?

little monster?

Are you a

*

NAPLES:

I’m not a monster.

ALDOUS:

What was that? I think you justsaid you’re a monster!

NAPLES:

I’m not a monster!

94.

ALDOUS:

No. Cause I’m the monster!

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