Getting Played Page #2

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that you are the only woman in my life.

I just want you to tell me her name!

Robert, be a man about it

and tell me the truth.

Andrea, I am telling you the truth.

There is no other woman

in my life except you.

I accidentally stumbled

on some incriminating evidence.

Bingo. Gotcha.

Nice to see you.

You, too. You, too.

Thank you. The usual.

Apple martini, bourbon and water.

Up to the room.

On its way.

I'm sorry.

My boyfriend's cheating on me.

Do you understand?

Nice jacket.

So, you just come down from...

You have a guest by the name

of Robert Mitchelson.

Could you please tell me

what room he's in?

Madam, I'm afraid it's hotel policy

never to give out that information.

He's in room 235.

- Room 235.

- Yep.

- Just down there.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

235. No, wait.

I'm gonna need a key for that room.

Madam, we would never, never...

give out a guest's key

without his permission.

Did you want an extra key with that,

or just the one?

- One will be fine.

- OK.

- There you are.

- Thank you.

- Enjoy your stay.

- Oh, I will.

Room service.

Just leave it.

Oh, I'm leaving it, all right.

Oh. Andrea.

Uh...

This is not what it looks like.

Is that right?

Do I look blind to you?

Because it looks to me

that you're in a hotel...

waitin' on your ho

to come out and do your business.

Where is she?

Where is the little ho at?

Where is the no-good b*tch at?

I am not a ho,

and I ain't nobody's b*tch.

Ohh!

I told you you were the only woman.

No. No, no, no. You gotta be

kidding me. OK. This is just a dream.

Somebody needs to come

and wake me up!

Robert...

now, it is bad enough

that your girlfriend...

has turned out to be a boyfriend...

but he's even wearing my robe!

Missy, this is not your robe.

It is not even close.

That's my man, and that's my robe.

I know my robe when I see it.

OK, I want you to call me Crystal...

'cause I want you to be

crystal clear on this...

I designed this robe,

so don't even go there!

Oh, I'm gonna take you there, all right...

Aaaah! Aah!

Mm! Ah!

Andrea Collins! Andrea Collins!

Robert, you did not tell me

you were doing Miss Andrea Collins!

Andrea Collins, I am so sorry.

I did not mean to be doing your man.

Let me just tell you,

I have seen all of your films...

and you are

one of my favorite actresses.

Thank you. Ha ha.

Andrea Collins,

you're even more beautiful in person...

th-th-than you are on TV.

I loved your TV show.

- Loose Ends?

- Yes!

Ooh, girl, you were nasty in that one.

- Wasn't I?

- Ooh!

And I watched every episode.

I even saw the reruns.

Well, that's great. Heh. Great.

So, you really designed these robes?

Oh, yes, girl. I designed this robe.

I found the fabric, the Chinese satin...

I even found a Chinaman.

He had two colors... black and cherry.

I put 'em together

and made black cherry!

Oh, no, child. Put that up.

Oh, I'm so sorry, baby.

Oh! Ooh!

I love your coat!

Oh, this old thing?

Excuse me! Andrea...

- Whatever.

- Whatever.

- Now, back to me...

- Yes?

So, whatever happened to Robert?

Heh. Robert?

Heh.

I kicked his cheatin' butt to the curb.

Oh, well, props to you, girlfriend.

All right.

- He deserved it.

- Yes, he did.

Whoo, he was bad news, huh?

Mm. What about that other guy?

- Who, Dennis?

- Yeah.

- I hired him.

- What? You're kidding.

He became my designer,

and we went into business together.

Sure did.

Whoo! I love that. Ha ha ha!

The moral of that story is...

another boyfriend

will always come around.

But a hot stylist?

Child, hard to find.

Ooh, you go, girl!

Ooh.

Lydia?

Why don't you let me drive you home?

Oh, honey, no. I didn't drive my car.

Mm-mm. Didn't you peep my ride?

That is not your limo.

It is my limo.

Cost me a lot of cheddar, but it's mine.

Oh, I know that you have gotta slide

to the left side, OK?

But I am having a party

next week at my crib.

Why don't you come by

so we can kick it?

All right. You know I'll be there.

Good.

Oh. If you need anything, you holla.

Or better yet, hit me on my celly.

- Hit you on your celly.

- Mm-hmm.

Lydia, when did you

become so street, huh?

Oh, sweetheart,

I've been into hip-hop for years.

Yeah, you know,

I'm down with the culture.

- Is that right?

- Yeah.

Like to keep it gangsta.

Well, give me a pound on that, girl.

- OK, here we go.

- Mm-hmm.

- Uh, uh...

- Oh, yeah.

- Keep it real, girl.

- Oh, word to you.

- OK? OK?

- Uh-huh.

- Hey, do you have any money?

- Oh. Yeah, I got you.

All right. Well, just give me

some feedback on the callback, OK?

All right. Love you. Mean it.

Thank you for coming.

I couldn't reach my therapist.

Girl, you know we got your back.

So, what happened?

He called and broke up with me

on the phone.

He said I was too needy.

That's pathetic.

I mean, what do men want?

Girl, it's like catching a cab.

If the light's on and you're not ready...

they'll take your ass for a ride

every time.

- Words to live by.

- Hey.

Hey, sorry I'm late. Mwah.

I just had to fire my bartender.

- Joe?

- Mm-hmm.

Damn, I liked him.

He gave me free drinks all the time.

That's exactly why I fired him.

Well, you look great.

- Really?

- Mm-hmm.

- God, I need a drink.

- Me, too.

Waiter!

- Mm. So, how was your weekend?

- Perfect.

I had my colon cleansed

and then went out on a date.

Ohh. Anyone I know?

I don't think so. He's very nice.

How romantic.

You know, dating is so confusing.

Mmm, I agree, I agree.

Maybe you haven't met the right man yet.

Well, I'll say this...

there isn't one man out there...

that I couldn't have if I wanted him.

Ha ha! I don't think men

are that predictable.

I do.

OK. What about... him?

Oh, please. Heh. It would take me...

two minutes, maybe three.

Heh! Three whole minutes?

You're right. Two. Maybe one.

OK, fine. Him.

Ha ha!

- Him?

- Yeah.

Let's be real.

That's not even a challenge.

- OK, fine.

- Ha ha!

OK. What about...

- Emily.

- What?

They're all the same.

That's a bit simplistic, isn't it?

I mean, they can't all be the same.

Well, then, let's find out.

What do you ladies say to a wager?

Ooh, what kind of wager?

A simple one.

I say any man can be seduced,

no ifs, ands, or buts.

- Agreed.

- So?

Well, think of it as a game.

We pick a man completely at random...

a total stranger, no ties to any of us.

I see where you're going with this.

- I don't.

- Of course you don't.

Look, we pick this man together...

and then we each take turns

attempting to seduce him.

Who would go first?

We draw straws.

And, to make it more interesting...

we each have only one night,

one shot, to get the job done.

You're kidding, right?

This is a joke.

But how would we know

who really won?

Hmm. Good question.

I mean, none of us would lie,

of course, but still...

there needs to be

some kind of visual proof...

of the, uh, consummation.

A videotape! I've got a camera.

As do I. Emily?

Oh, my God! You guys,

what would my therapist say? Uh-uh.

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