Ghost Team One Page #3

Brad, I'm hungry!

- Hey!

- Hi. How are you?

Great, you're here.

Hey.

- All right, is that good? You got it?

- Perfect. Perfect.

- All right.

- Nice!

- It's a good angle, huh?

- Nice.

- All right, here we go. You ready?

- Yes, sir.

Okay, so camera, camera. Back it up.

There's a camera by the bathroom.

We have cameras

all around the living room.

So basically,

if it's happening, we're gonna see it.

- We're working with Billy Chen, huh?

- Billy Chen!

He's a very talented undergrad,

and he also knows

what good an opportunity this is.

Sh*t!

I wasn't scared, I just laughed

because you were...

- Okay.

- This is Fernanda,

the newest member of our group.

- Hola.

- Hey, a**holes.

Ching Chong,

get that f***ing thing out of my face.

Off limits, or I'll kill you!

- Am I lying? Am I joking right now?

- No, you're not.

Hey, Billy Chen, man, don't...

Don't take that personal.

You know, he's not being a racist

'cause he's really racist.

He's just, like,

not happy about the cameras,

so, you know, his bark is worse

than his preconceived notions.

Yeah, I'm not happy that he didn't tell us

three motherfuckers died here, all right?

Okay, but you gotta

take it down a notch...

- F*** him!

- ... with the Jay-Z.

- I'll tell him to his face.

- Stop.

Gangsta.

Let's be professional, guys.

Hello, Professor Menapace, I'm Brad.

- We contacted...

- Hi!

- Hi.

- Hi.

You must be Fernanda.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.

- Nice to see you.

It's such a pleasure to have you here.

Yes.

If you can just take a seat,

we'll kinda go over

what we're gonna be talking about.

I have... I have lots of questions

set up, and so, if you could...

Why don't I sit here?

I think this is a better spot.

Yeah, but we already...

See, what happened is,

like, we set up light... Okay.

- All right. Perfect.

- Perfect.

And so, if we could just start with

your name and where you're from.

Professor Menapace.

I have a PhD in History from Brown.

I was a nominated finalist

for the Pulitzer Prize

for my New York Times essay

chronicling harlotry

in the early 20th century.

How did you become interested

in this particular case of Lady Azalea?

She was a pioneer

in her field

as a prostitute.

She allowed us to breathe sexually.

The Golden Shower,

the Dirty Sanchez,

the Glass Bottom Boat,

Ebenezer's Jam, Casper's Wish,

the Boston Cream Pie,

I mean, these are things that

you can all trace back to Lady Azalea.

Can I talk to you?

I wanna hear...

I wanna hear you

ask me some questions.

Do you mind?

Right. I mean, I'm kind of...

I'm feeling... No, I'm feeling a nice...

- Yeah.

- Switch it up.

- Yeah, that will be fine.

- Just...

- Sure, sure, sure.

- I'm gonna switch too, and...

- Thank you, I appreciate it.

- Yes.

Much better.

Do...

First question is...

First question is...

Stop. I'm not playing telephone with you.

Ask... Ask about the homicide.

Do you know anything

about the homicides?

"Homo" what?

Homicides.

- Homicides?

- Yes.

The murders?

We're human beings

with desires.

And sometimes,

we can't control our desires.

Lady Azalea snapped!

And in a fit ofjealousy and rage,

she killed two men

in this house.

There were three pools of blood

and only two bodies were recovered.

Lady Azalea's body was

never found.

Hypothetically, if there

was a manifestation

of Lady Azalea in the house...

- How...

- Let me get this straight.

She manifested herself to you?

Already, you... This happened?

Yeah.

Did this apparition

look anything like this?

Yeah.

If Lady Azalea

has made her presence known to you...

Honestly,

- you're f***ed!

- I don't live here.

That doesn't matter.

You... You're all f***ed.

They're f***ed. I'm not f***ed.

You're f***ed hard.

Do you understand me?

You're f***ed.

- Hard.

- Hard?

All of you are f***ed hard.

Really hard.

Like, the hardest f*** you can feel.

You're feeling it right now,

I guarantee that.

I wish you luck. I must go.

I want you to hang on to this.

Well, thank you very much

for coming down.

You really shed

some light on this subject.

It was an honor to meet you, Professor.

- We will...

- Yes, thank you.

Thank you.

Well, just, just, just...

- I'll take you to the door.

- Thank you, Professor.

- Thank you.

- Thank you so much.

- Drive safe.

- Have a good night.

- Holy sh*t, what a creep!

- Wow.

What a great guy!

Were you guys

in the same room that I was in?

- What are you talking about?

- Freaking molester.

- Hector the Molester.

- What?

He was freaking trying to

get her in bed and just...

We live in a whorehouse, Serge.

- He gave us the book.

- What? That doesn't make it any...

- It's a historical monument.

- Here.

You guys are...

- What do you wanna drink?

- No, no, no...

- We're taking shots, right now.

- I can't, guys...

I have to leave.

Get some rest.

- You need to.

- I need my beauty sleep.

No, you don't. You've got plenty of that.

- Bye.

- Okay, bye.

- You guys are so nice. Thank you.

- Get up here.

- We are, right?

- Thank you.

I love being part of this team.

- And I feel like a Ghostbuster.

- We'll see you shortly.

I feel so great.

- We'll see you later.

- Okay, thank you so much.

- Okay! Thank you, bye.

- We'll see you later.

- Bye, Serge. Bye, guys!

- Okay.

Thank you!

I don't know,

but I'm so f***ing horny, I can't...

- Are you kidding me, dude?

- We live in a whorehouse!

After everything that

we've listened to today,

all you can think about is being horny?

I know your dick's hard right now.

- I'm not hard because I'm focused...

- Yes, you are.

- ... on the project and I...

- Let me feel it. Let me feel it.

Don't. Stop it. Can you not be

a horn dog for one second?

- Listen, I was born this way.

- Listen. Hey!

Hey, hey, hey!

There are more things

to life than being horny.

- Seriously.

- No, there's not.

What starts life?

Horniness.

- No, sleep.

- That's... No!

You're born 'cause someone's horny

and decided to f*** your mom.

So, I'm just, like,

I woke up this morning

and I saw this come rag on the ground,

and I literally wanted to enter their room

and punch one of them in the face until

his face caved in, but I didn't.

I painted a little portrait

of what my emotions would

manifest if it was, like, a person.

And...

I really, honestly, I really just wanna go

get an eight ball right now,

but I'm not gonna.

- Action.

- Her name...

- No?

- No.

Her name was...

Brad, what the f***, man!

I'm trying to do this!

I don't have time for this.

Are you gonna be a grownup about it?

Just hold onto the f***ing mike.

All right, here we go. Three, two, one.

Her name was...

Why the f*** are we even doing this sh*t

if Fernanda's not here?

All right, you know what?

Get the f*** out. Come on.

- Go take a nap...

- Yeah, good luck.

- Drink some f***ing milk, get out.

- Good luck without the producer.

- Produce that sh*t.

- F***ing bullshit.

- Produce this. Produce it.

- Just keep...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes