Ghostbusters Page #12

---

Oh, because of the glasses

and the handsomeness?

I should have worked out more

when I was alive.

Oh, I definitely should

have worked out more.

You have to get out of the city!

Please! Get out!

Oh, no.

It's happening-

Oh...

City College must have just let out, huh?

Yankees suck!

What the hell am I doing in New York?

- Let's do this.

- Oh, yeah.

Taxi! Taxi!

- Where you going?

- Chinatown.

Nah. That's, like,

one more block south than I want to go.

Sir, those are actual ghosts flying around!

Eh, they're Class 5 floating vapors.

Nothing to worry about.

No, no, no, it's important.

Don't you see what's happening?

Look, I don't go to Chinatown,

I don't drive wackos,

and I ain't afraid of no ghosts.

What? No, no, no, wait!

That's a double negative!

That means you are afraid of ghosts.

Oh, God, I got to get my gear.

Seem to have hit an impasse.

Yeah, I'd say so.

All right, let's clear a path.

You guys,

this looks like my kitchen.

What the hell is that thing?

Ew.

- Hey, hey!

- Wait!

Oh, really?

Did you leave the keys in the car?

My uncle is gonna be pissed.

- Okay, light him up!

- No, don't shoot.

The equipment on top of that

is basically a nuclear reactor.

- What?

- Okay, I vote we don't shoot at that.

Well, we just gave a ghost a nuke.

We should probably run.

HOLTZMANN'. Yep.

Go! Go! Moving out!

Yo, was Thanksgiving

like Halloween back in the 1920s?

'Cause that's a creepy-ass Macy's Parade.

I don't know. I've always kind of been

attracted to husky men in hats.

Uh-oh.

I just made eye contact.

- With the balloon?

- Yeah, straight down the barrel.

- Oh, damn.

- I think we may look like chew toys to him.

All right, let's pop some balloons!

Oh, Lord, have mercy.

This is just wrong!

I can't move my hand.

I can't reach the trigger.

You guys, this is exactly

how I pictured my death.

Come on.

Proton guns are all well and good,

but sometimes you need the Swiss Army.

Welcome back!

- Am I shouting?

- Yeah.

I think the balloon popped my ear!

All right, let's go save this city

and get our terrible receptionist back.

We're not gonna find another one that pretty.

Who's the flying beefcake?

Hello.

Oh, dear brave men and women

of the protection services industry,

I would like to see you dance.

Get it Off.

I can't. It won't work anymore.

My baby moves at midnight

Goes right on till the dawn

I control all of you.

My woman keeps me warm

What you doin' on your back, aah?

Oh, this is fun.

You should be dancing, yeah

Aw, women. Always late.

Probably couldn't decide

which dirty jumpsuit to wear.

Let's give 'em a proper New York welcome,

shall we?

Boop.

Welcome to the glory days of New York City.

Have fun!

Never been good in a fight.

Well, good news.

Here's your chance to work on that.

Guys,

you all have your sidearms.

I suggest you use them.

Okay, power up.

Holtzy, get down! Get down!

Slap shot!

Gotcha.

This isn't very Puritan behavior!

D'oh. Nuts!

I'm getting the hang of this!

Oh, shoot.

I lost my glasses!

Wait, wait, I got 'em! They're in my hand!

A little help!

Oh, impressive.

Holtzy! I got you!

It's chipping time now, ghost.

And this is what you get for sitting on me!

Missed me!

Thanks, Patty.

Oh, not you guys again!

Say hello to my little...

What the hell?

Forgot about my new toys.

Let's go.

You just got Holtzmanned, baby!

You know what?

I'm glad I didn't know

any of you when you were alive,

'cause I don't enjoy any of you,

especially you.

Okay. All right, Abby, let's reel it in tighter.

- I don't like you either!

- We got to save our energy.

Come on, let's go.

Oh, my God, you killed a Pilgrim.

It appears I did.

This is weird.

It sure is.

Hey, why y'all like this?

Something's up, man.

Yeah, great work, fellas.

Your country thanks you.

Well, that thing's having the time of its life.

Let's go.

Oh, God.

It feels like the slime is after me, personally.

That's all I'm saying.

This might be a crazy hunch,

but I think he's got that machine

up and running again.

Come on.

Damn, I missed.

Oh, Kevin!

Oh. Is that what this thing's name is?

Thought it'd be something more Australian

like "Jack-0" or "Dave-0" or "Rob-O."

Oh, I see there's five of you now.

Huh?

Who are you?

Oh, I'm Frank.

I just came down to get some ice.

Get out of here!

Get out of here!

I think we should've gave him a heads up

about what was going on out there, y'all.

Well, it's been a very long day.

Why don't you take a seat?

Please, sit.

Don't mind if I do.

Whoop!

Ah!

Okay.

I do appreciate the joke. It's a classic.

Oh, for fun.

I know you're getting real comfy

in your Kevin skin suit,

but it's time you hop out.

We like him,

despite his many, many frustrating quirks.

- He just started figuring out the phones!

- Yeah.

Mmm... I don't know.

Is this a little too Peter Pan?

Anyway, I'll embrace it.

You know, to be honest with you,

this guy's making me feel

stupider by the second.

He's all yours.

- No!

- No, no, no!

Don't let Rowan get away!

I got his ass! Here I am.

Nobody hurts Kevin, man!

Nobody hurts Kevin!

Come out, come out wherever you are

Over here.

Those guns come with instructions?

Come on, Rowan! Come get your virginity

out of the lost-and-found!

- You shoot like girls.

-12 o'clock!

I think you broke it.

Look what you made me do!

It's ridiculous. Let's get Kevin.

I knew

he was dumb as a box of rocks.

I didn't know he's as heavy as one.

What's he made out of?

Pure muscle. Oh, and baby-soft skin.

Come on, Rowan, show yourself!

What form would you prefer I take?

Uh, maybe something stationary.

Like a bull's-eye.

Well, I'll tell you what I prefer.

I prefer something nice and cute,

like a friendly little ghost.

Oh. Is this what you want?

Something more familiar?

Mmm, Ice cream. Mmm.

Well, you know what,

I don't have no problem with that.

Thank you very much for being reasonable.

If this is what you want, it works for me.

Oh, God, he's really going for it.

Man, I said cute. Cute!

Oh, God.

No. No, no, no.

No.

Okay, this is not good.

Whoa!

Run! Run!

Come on!

Erin!

Okay. Homeboy is pretty much

not keeping up with what we agreed upon.

What part of "small and friendly"

did he not understand?

Oh!

What do we do now?

We gotta go back there. We've got to

shoot directly in the portal with more power.

If we can do that, we might be able

to cause a reverse reaction.

We gotta cross the streams.

Wait, wait, wait. You mean that thing

you were talking about that's so powerful

that will make all of our atoms implode?

No, implode is the wrong word.

It'll be more violent than that.

We gotta cross 'em up,

and we've got an extremely good shot

at pulling all the ionized ecto-matter

back into the dimension of its origin.

So, on the plus side, we save the world.

And on the negative side, we experience the

most painful death conceivable of all time.

Yeah. It's hard to shine that penny, but yeah.

Okay.

Let's do it.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes