Ghostbusters Page #11

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Oh, and we towed your car.

Real-tow, not fake-tow.

Ms. Lynch!

What's that?

- REPORTER 21 Ms. Lynch!

- What? Wait, Why?

Ow!

- Excuse me!

- Stop resisting.

I'm not. I'm walking with you.

- ls New York in trouble?

- Everything is fine.

It was just another publicity stunt

by these incredibly sad and lonely women.

It's like they read Eat, Pray, Love

and just ran with it.

Well, mission accomplished, ladies.

I say we get some drinks and celebrate.

How about it, Erin? It's my treat.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

A couple quick questions for my blog.

First, how does it feel wasting

tax payer money and government resources

with your pranks?

Uh, why don't you go back to

your mother's basement where you live?

Yeah, I plan to, after this.

Ms. Gilbert, I asked around your hometown.

I talked to somebody

you went to school with.

They said when you were a kid,

you made up a ghost.

So, tell me,

were you born a fraud, ghost girl?

Don't call me that!

ABBY; Erin! Oh, my God!

Erin, he's too pasty to fight.

Erin, you're making us look bad right now.

Erin, come on, let it go.

They should put you back in therapy,

you freak.

Oh!

Oh, damn!

Hey-

Guess whose desk I just set on fire.

You'll never guess.

You may guess when you see

your desk later. Okay.

All right. Just read it. Just read it.

"Midtown movie theater owner claims

"Basset Hound

regularly attends matinees by himself."

- Look at his ears.

- Yes, I see.

I meant the one about me.

- Oh.

- Yes.

It's devastating.

Oh, look, you're on TV.

We spoke to Dr. Harold Filmore,

Physics Department Chair

at Columbia University,

where Ms. Gilbert used to teach.

Oh, no, no.

It's unfortunate that we have

these former ties with Ms. Gilbert.

Here at Columbia University,

we're about real science, discovering truth,

not lying for a sad moment of fame.

You know what?

They don't know what they're talking about.

We also spoke with

the Dean of the Kenneth P. Higgins Institute.

Oh, God.

Ms. Gilbert's association with the

Kenneth P. Higgins Institute, albeit distant,

is a blight on this university.

But, good news,

I have an album dropping in two weeks.

It's called I'mma Be Me, and I wouldn't mind

playing you the title track.

Ha!

God.

Yo, Erin, shake that off.

You know how many lives you saved?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, we gotta get out there.

We gotta get something to eat.

We gotta find that Basset Hound.

I'll just see you guys tomorrow.

I gotta go. I'm sorry.

- Erin...

- I'm sorry!

So, Abby, I've been doing a lot of thinking,

and congratulations,

I've decided to become a Ghostbuster.

Oh, God. I don't have time to try to explain

why that's not going to happen.

I thought they would've

been happy about that.

Did you guys lose your keys?

What did I tell you? Pin it to your bra strap.

That's where mine is, and it...

Who's out there?

Holtzmann, I swear to God, I...

ROWAN". Don't look so surprised.

You didn't think I was gone when

there's so much left to do, did you, Abby?

It's brilliant, really.

My devices energized spectral entities

on a nuclear, paramolecular level.

Sound familiar?

It's the reverse of your research.

Do it in the right place, with enough power,

and there goes the barrier.

And then the world shall bend to...

Okay. I apologize.

That looks nastier than I intended.

Enjoy, Abby!

Ghostbusters. What do you want?

Hello? Guys, it's me.

Are you there? Please pick up if you're there.

Call me as soon as you get this.

I think when Rowan killed himself,

it was just the next step in his plan.

The mayor's itinerary has been set.

Mayor Bradley is meeting with the diplomats

at Lotus Leaf this very moment.

Lotus Leaf.

Abby! We got you a sandwich

so you don't be picking off of ours, man.

You need some food.

Your moods have been real bad, yo.

Come on now.

Abby? You in there?

Everything okay?

Abby, come and get your sandwich

Come and get your sandwich, please

You want your little sandwich?

Abby...

Hello, Jillian.

Hello, Abby.

Are you okay?

I'm quite well.

That's good.

You found my pipe.

I got it at the dumpster yesterday.

I'm gonna use it to make a proton shotgun.

Pretty cool, right?

If it doesn't work,

we can just swing it around and break stuff,

so it's kind of a win-win.

- What?

- What are you doing?

Not my babies!

Hey!

- Wait a minute!

- No!

Man, are y'all playing?

'Cause this ain't funny, man. Yo! For real!

See, Abby, I told you

to have that sandwich, man.

Low blood sugar is serious!

- Hello, Patricia.

- What?

Abby!

What the...

Look at the view.

This is fun, right?

Good-bye.

I got you, baby! I got you!

- Oh, my God, help me.

- Hi, Patty.

Hell no! The Devil is a liar!

Boo.

{SCREAMS)

Hellion, begone!

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, no!

Holtzy! Got you, Holtzy!

No!

Get out of my friend, ghost!

Ow!

Ow! That's gonna leave a mark!

The power of Patty compels you!

Ow!

Is that you, Abby?

Where did he go?

Hey, guys, check it out!

Hey, listen.

I figured you're gonna need my help,

so I borrowed all this stuff.

If you could just chuck me down

my own proton pack, that'd be great.

- Kevin, come inside!

- Kevin.

- Come inside.

- I'm part of the team.

I can help out. I'm not gonna get in your way.

- Come on, move!

- Move!

I was born to be a Ghostbuster, all right?

Nothing's gonna stop me!

- Oh, man.

- Kevin!

Come on, Rowan, get out of him!

Thanks for the upgrade.

Rowan, ya big bully!

Hope this guy knows

how to ride a motorcycle.

Rowan, not Kevin!

Yeah, he does.

Oh, that's so not good.

No, no. It's just a magic trick.

He didn't actually cut her in half.

- No, no. I was there. She was cut in half.

- There's two women.

Yeah, I saw it.

It's just a trick.

Mayor Bradley, it's me!

Who the sh*t is this?

It's me! It's Erin.

She thinks that's a sliding door.

It's Erin. Hi!

She thinks they're all doors. That's sad.

She's a scientist.

Mayor Bradley.

You have to evacuate the city!

Never say that word.

You have to shut down the power

to the whole city!

Don't you understand? He's using

the power to energize them!

You know what, as you can see,

the mayor is very busy.

Oh, no.

It's happening-

Can you hear it?

It's...

Oh, um...

Okay, that's a dumpster.

But the undead are still arriving.

Please, Mayor Bradley,

you have to believe me.

You're the only one

that can do something. Don't...

Please don't be like the mayor in Jaws.

Never compare me to the Jaws mayor. Never!

Please, you have to get everyone out.

You're endangering everyone in the city!

That took way too long.

What are you doing?

My... Get off of me!

Mayor Bradley, you have to listen to me!

Get out of the city! Get out of the city!

They're coming!

Don't you understand?

These ghosts kill people!

50 cents a T-shirt.

My plan is to wear a new one every day,

and then just throw 'em out

and then start over every month, yeah.

Whoa. Hey. Man,

nobody ordered a Clark Kent strippergram.

Clark Kent?

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