Ghostbusters Page #10

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Guys, we haven't had customers, anyway.

It's time to face the facts,

the restaurant is not working.

You're standing in the acid.

- Ah, not my slippers.

- It's hydrochloric acid.

Get the baking soda. There you go.

That's how you clean up hydrochloric.

Good boy.

- Oh, God, it stinks.

- Just a big, beautiful dummy.

Well, it's official. We're all ghost girls now.

Can't see.

- Well, that's the acid.

- Get back to the eyewash station.

- Where is that?

- Back by the bathroom. Left.

There you go.

Stop when you hit something.

- Okay.

- Jesus.

Good job.

All right, I would like

to remind everybody here

that in a very short amount of time,

we have seen multiple

Class 4 malevolent apparitions.

- Yeah.

- We did.

Who cares what anybody else

is saying about us?

We know what we're doing.

I mean, all morning,

I've been reading about this stuff.

There's sightings all over the city.

"Wailing spirit sighted at 6th and 26th."

Another one,

"Spectral polar bear on 63rd and 5th."

Then there was that weeping wall

in the thrift store at Chelsea.

- Wait. Did you say 6th and 26th?

- Yeah. "Wailing spirits, 6th and 26th."

6th and 26th. 6th and 26th. Okay.

6th and 26th.

Um, Aldridge Mansion. Um, Upper West Side.

Yes? 70... 72nd.

Um, where did we find the first device?

- Uh, at the subway, right here.

- Okay.

Theater. Downtown. Downtown.

- Downtown?

- Yes, yes. In here.

Okay, what was the other address you said?

Polar bear on 63rd and 5th Avenue.

And the one in Chelsea?

- Uh... Chelsea is at 10th Avenue and 18th.

-18th. 10th and 18th.

Uh.

What do those look like to you?

Oh, It's an Touching other little "X's."

- Ley lines.

- Ley lines.

What's "ley lines"?

It's a hidden network of energy lines

that run across the Earth.

It's a current of supernatural energy.

Supposedly, if you look at sacred sites

and weird events all over the world,

and connect them with lines

where they intersect,

it's an unusually powerful spot.

Abby and I just dismissed this theory

because it just seemed

too random to have any merit.

Dismiss this.

Okay. That looks like it's got some merit.

He's using the devices

to charge the ley lines.

- He's creating a vortex.

- A vortex.

Oh, boy.

Okay, if he gets one of his machines in there

and it's big enough,

he's gonna be able

to rip a hole right through that barrier.

Letting whatever's on this plane

come crashing down on this plane.

Okay, I'm calling this in.

Okay, um, that intersection right there

between 7th and 8th.

What is there now?

- The Mercado.

- Mercado. It's Spanish for "table."

The Mercado? That actually makes sense.

Okay, yes, I'm looking

for Agents Hawkins and Rorke.

The Mercado has

one of the weirdest histories

of the buildings in New York.

Okay, so it's your

standard-issue haunted building.

No. This is even before it was a building.

All sorts of massacres happened at that spot.

Like the peaceful trade between

the Lenape Indians and Captain Warren.

Then, all of a sudden, everybody dies.

Oh, my God, you guys.

This is the dude that was at the subway

that was talking about the cataclysms!

This is him!

Oh.

It's always the sad, pale ones.

Okay, ladies, let's gear up

and hit that Mercado.

Who's in the mood to save New York City?

And did you try adjusting

the thermostat before placing this call?

Well, I'm terribly sorry

that you have a draft in your room.

Why don't you hold while I connect you

to someone who might care.

- Hi. Excuse me.

- Hold on.

- What do you want?

- Where's your janitor?

Oh, that nut-job! What has he done...

I don't want to know.

Just take the stairs down and get him out.

Hey, stop right there!

Shut it down!

Ah.

The Ghostbusters.

Look, I think it's great

you found yourself a little hobby,

and I'm sure, on paper,

flooding New York City with ghosts

seemed like a great idea,

but we happen to like the world the way it is.

Then you must've been afforded the basic

dignity and respect of a human being,

which I have been denied.

Not really.

People dump on us pretty much all the time.

I am a genius.

I see things that no one else does.

And for it, I am rewarded

with nothing but scorn and mockery.

Luckily, I am not

the only one seeking revenge.

Behind these are millions of souls,

souls which have been cast aside.

Souls who see the world

as it truly is, as garbage.

Garbage that needs to be cleaned up.

They're mostly dudes.

When these barriers are destroyed,

an army of the undead

will return to pester the living.

"Pester the living"

doesn't sound so bad.

They will return to pester the living

with unspeakable pain and torment.

Children will be pestered limb from limb

in front of their own parents.

The parents will be pestered in half

and pestered in half again.

And pestered into the ground until their

bloody, pulpy bodies are nothing but meat.

That's a different, uh, definition of "pester"

than what I was thinking.

I think the word we're looking for

is apocalypse. Apocalypse.

Well, let's get these barriers destroyed,

shall we?

Uh, uh, uh, uh, wait, wait, wait! Rowan.

I get it. You don't like people.

People can be terrible.

The thing is, though,

there's so many terrific things out there.

I mean, wonderful things

that are worth living for.

I mean, you got soup,

and, you know, that first... You know when...

Oh, God. I can only think of soup.

Anybody? Somebody? Patty?

- Salad.

- Salad.

- Whoa, whoa!

- No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait!

Okay, stop what you're doing.

The police are already on their way.

It's over. You're going to jail, Rowan.

Well, in that case,

bye.

That's a weird move.

Oh, he dead. That's a dead man.

See if you can shut that thing down.

- Come on!

- Holtz?

Holtz, are we good?

Uh... Well, he's not, but, yeah, we're okay.

Okay. Well, that's over.

Okay, we're down here! Down here!

You hate to see the smart ones go bad.

Man, it smells like burned bologna

and regrets down here.

Like, um, the dude that worked here,

he, like, dressed, like,

in a Captain Kirk-type outfit.

- What's up?

- He was, like, standing over here...

I don't know. It's strange.

You know, his technology's

not that different from ours.

It's basically, like, we're

both using the same science.

- That is strange.

- I think I know why.

Look what Mr. Cuckoo Pants

has been reading at the beach. No.

Oh, my God.

I told you that there would be

people out there that loved our work.

Why am I so flattered that

that weird little sociopath bought our book?

Oh, thank you for everything you did.

You saved us all.

The mayor thanks you, of course.

Privately, so don't tell anyone.

Um... Can I walk you out?

Well, why don't you all go get some rest?

These gentlemen here

will get you out of here. Okay?

- Oh, thank you. That's very nice.

- All right.

- Thanks for all you've done, ladies.

- Thank you very much.

I just have to say

a couple things to the press.

You know how that goes.

So we just are gonna fake-arrest you now.

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