Ghostbusters Page #6

---

- I can't. It's in the fish tank.

- Uh,no.

The one on the desk that's ringing. That one.

- Oh, that one.

- Yep.

- Oh, my God.

- What's this place called again?

Conductors of

the Metaphysical Examination. Talk.

Got it. Uh, Conductors

of Metamucils and Stuff.

Whee, oh, slow down. I... What...

They hung up?

No, I was just not into that conversation.

Kevin, I'm really gonna need you

to try a little harder. Okay, buddy?

Well, if they call back, I will.

I got to take off, though.

I'm in a hide-and-seek tournament,

and we are in the semis.

Uh, Kevin, I'm gonna need you

to pick up all those suitcases.

- Ouch.

- Oh!

Eh, did you hurt your face?

Hey, did y'all hire that big dumb dude?

Bye!

Man, I got a cousin Mookie.

He is half as stupid,

and he will work for Vienna sausages.

The thing is, this isn't really a club.

It's a scientific research group.

And I understand that,

but let me tell you something.

I read a lot of nonfiction,

and you guys know

a lot about this science stuff,

but I know New York.

And check this out!

I can borrow a car from my uncle,

and y'all won't have to lug

all this heavy equipment around.

- Oh, guys, we got to get a car.

- Come on, baby.

You need me. You need Patty.

Patty come with benefits. You need me.

Stop playing like you don't.

You're in.

Ha!

Oh, yeah.

You get a car,

and you get a car, and you get a car!

Uh, you didn't disclose

that the vehicle was gonna be a hearse.

I'm sorry. My uncle owns a funeral home,

not a Enterprise Rent-A-Car.

Hope you checked to see

there wasn't a body in the back.

Uh, I don't think so. I don't really know.

You didn't check?

I mean, I was in a hurry.

I checked to see if we had gas.

That was more important.

So there is a body?

Let Holtzmann check.

She likes that type of stuff.

Yeah, I can think of seven good uses

of a cadaver today.

No, Dr. Frankenstein,

we got to turn in the body

if there's one in there.

- All right.

- Don't do that.

- Excuse me, maintenance man.

- Mrs. Ponner.

How may I help you?

Well, for starters, perhaps you can tell me

what in God's name this is?

Mrs. Ponner, this is nothing more than

some leakage from our air conditioning.

Well, I think it's touched my skin,

and it's given me a rash.

Does it look right?

Mrs. Ponner, I wanted to say no.

But, yes, I'm afraid there is some redness

in here.

- Is it very bad?

- No.

Of course not, Mrs. Ponner.

But I assure you,

whoever is responsible for this

will be flogged within an inch of their life

and then left on the street to die like a pig.

- Well, I didn't ask for that.

- Well, in that case, I'll send up some cream.

I know everyone is anxious,

but we have to be patient.

Who thought it would be funny

to put Earl in that old lady's back?

The guests are starting to complain.

And we don't want to give away any spoilers

before the big show.

See you soon.

Very soon.

Based on the results

of the subway field test...

The one where you were

almost killed, remember?

I remember.

I added a booster using microfabricated

radio-frequency quadrupoles

to speed up particles

before entering the DLA device,

- ...portable, wearable for maximum flexibility.

- Wow.

Then we add the reversible

psychokinetic energy sync

plus Holtzy's hollow beam to this baby,

and voila'.

- We got a ghost in there.

- Whoo!

- Slap me.

- Okay.

I will slap you as...

I just want to say

what an exciting moment this is.

Holtzmann, I am beyond impressed.

Abby, is that comfortable?

It's a lot heavier than I expected,

and I'm pretty sure

it's compacting my spinal column, but...

- So you're gonna want to plant your feet firm.

- Okay.

Bend your knees

to compensate for the extra kickback.

All right. Turning the machine on.

Whoo!

Boy, she's got an impressive purr.

Okay, so, that little a**hole over there

is the target.

Okay.

Just put your thumb

on that red trigger button there.

- Yeah.

- And go to town.

Okay.

And here we go!

Whoa!

- Oh!

- Oh!

I guess she's not

bending her knees enough, right?

Whoo!

She's doing a marvelous impression

of a deflating balloon.

We just got to let her ride it out

until she's out of juice.

She's corkscrewing me!

Abby,

I'll make some adjustments.

It's like fighting a gator!

Hello.

Looking forward to this metal show.

Hi.

Ozzy rocks! Whoo!

Yeah!

It's...

He certainly does rock.

This world cannot be cleansed fast enough.

Hi.

Enjoy the show.

Rock and roll.

So, how did the two of you guys meet?

Uh, Abby transferred

to my high school, junior year.

Go, Karate Cats.

We started telling ghost stories,

and we just kind of bonded right away.

And all the other kids were, you know,

getting drunk and going to parties,

and we're like,

"Uh, that's stupid."

Plus, we weren't invited to any parties.

Oh, you know what?

You know what I thought...

Oh, I'm not gonna tell you.

I'm just gonna show you. You'll see.

So, how did y'all get into ghosts?

Did one of you see one?

Yeah, I did.

Really?

When I was eight years old,

the mean old lady that lived next door died.

And that night, I woke up

and she was standing at the foot of my bed,

just staring at me.

She did that every night for almost a year.

What?

And I told my parents,

and they didn't believe me.

Still don't believe me.

I had to go to therapy for years,

and the kids at school found out,

and they would laugh at me

and make fun of me,

call me "ghost girl."

Abby was the only person who believed me.

Kids is mean, man. But I believe you.

Thanks.

- I have some questions.

- Seriously?

- Okay, ready?

- Oh, no.

- I found this in a box when we were moving.

- Oh, no.

Oh, no!

Oh, yes!

I wish we still had this presentation.

I mean, it was pretty great.

I kinda wish I could've seen it, man.

- You might just get your wish, Patty.

- No way.

Wait, you have it?

Damn, I wish I hadn't wished that.

Ghosts, they're real!

Lord, help us.

- Para...

- ...normal...

- ...is...

- ...normal.

And a valid science.

- Thank you for requesting this.

- I...

Why don't I see ghosts

flying around everywhere?

The barrier stops them.

It's the last line of defense

betwixt the worlds of the living and the dead.

Protect the barrier!

Protect the barrier! Protect the barrier!

Or mankind will end.

On!

That was really good.

- That was really good.

- We actually...

- That was... I'm a little proud of us. Uh-oh.

- Yes.

Rhythmic clapping.

I'm so goddamn happy

you two are back together.

Aw.

Man, I'm gonna tell you right now, y'all,

I was hating it up until the finale,

but the finale is what got me.

- Guys, we're on TV.

- Oh. What?

A local team of paranormal investigators

released a video of a proclaimed ghost.

You can see clearly there's something

in the picture that isn't easily explained.

Oh, my God! They're showing the video!

We famous! We famous.

As a result, there are

a lot of questions being asked now

about the people who shot the video.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes