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mother was black.

This ain't Roots.

Show me this Nubian's picture.

I don't carry her picture.

If you were less black,

you'd be clear.

She was black as night!

Okay, stop! Truce!

Shut up!

Man, I see black.

I know I am.

Colour's a state of mind, Marcus.

You know, you're right.

Thank you, Rhythm Nation.

F*** you, Vanilla Ice.

So what does Valentina do?

- Valentina's a nutritionist.

- Nice.

She also teaches a class

at this college.

Class? What class?

It's called

"Tantric Sexuality for Couples."

She teaches people how to f***?

Yo, I taught myself.

Yo, are you done yet, girl?

That's a shrimp ass.

That shrimp's full of iodine.

This sh*t's expensive. You're spending

$5 for lettuce and seeds.

Damn!

The thing is, most people...

...don't know how to make love.

They stick it in, move it around

till they get off.

But what Tantra teaches you

is how to deepen...

...prolong the sexual experience.

Bring it to a higher level.

If one man in 10 was having the sex

I'm having, there'd be no war.

What's the longest you two ever did it?

- Fourteen hours.

- Holy sh*t!

How many times you shoot?

Not once, man.

You didn't go once?

Not even at the end?

You redirect the orgasm inside.

How long do your orgasms last?

Two, three seconds?

I've had orgasms that have lasted

up to an hour and a half.

That's bullshit!

Honest to God and I mean Allah.

Word.

- Word.

- Wait.

- No love.

- When'd you last get off?

I haven't ejaculated in six months.

Anyone can do it.

It just takes discipline.

Bullshit. You're some

Obi-Wan Kenobi motherf***er.

You call me old school.

I'm for coming and going.

Hour and a half.

What the hell you doing with a gold...

Todd Gaines?

The drug dealer.

He gets a discount here.

He let me borrow it. He's a good guy.

He's the good drug dealer. Right.

Sometimes I get confused.

Relax, we're gonna pay cash.

That's just to get the room.

Come on, Singh.

I told you not to eat

those shrimp, didn't I?

Todd, it's Simon.

What's up?

I'm in Vegas. We just got here.

What was the name of

that place you said we...

Crazy Horse.

Right. So what you up to tonight?

Singh, come on now!

Hold on, man.

Damn, Singh!

See, I told you not to eat

those shrimp, didn't I?

You're going to a wedding?

So what is it, like a rave?

How's your stomach feel, Singh?

No gambling for you.

I know Claire.

So you gonna f*** her?

All I know is I plan

to get thoroughly laid.

Who are you?

This is our room.

What are you doing?

Raping small children.

Did I mention how much

I like your jacket?

B*tch, look at your shirt.

This ain't Hawaii.

Lend me some money.

- Man, where's your money?

- I lost it.

We've been here five minutes.

I played this game at a $100 table

and didn't understand it.

Now I do.

I figured out how to beat it.

Cool. Give me your wallet.

Here you go.

- What're you doing?

- Come back in an hour for it.

In an hour, I'll give you your money.

Now get out. You're bad luck.

Scram. Damn it!

Darling?

Hello.

Cheers!

Oh, my God!

So if you're from over there...

...then where did you meet

these friends of yours...

...who I don't see?

The others already knew each other.

I met Marcus in traffic school.

In traffic school?

Listen, I'm a good driver, I am.

I learned everything

from American television.

Great.

Hunter, Magnum P. I...

Knight Rider is an excellent program.

Are you having a go at me here?

Our stop.

So do you want to be

getting high with us?

Otherwise, I can't hold it in.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

- You're fine.

- I'm so bad!

- I don't know what I'm doing!

- Tell her she's fine!

You're beautiful.

Did you go?

Why not?

Tantra, baby.

Sorry.

Could you hand me a towel?

Baby, what's up?

I'm not a bathroom attendant!

Redneck motherf...!

Man, we're leaving.

- Hell, yeah.

- Let's go.

Keep it close and there's

an extra $10 for you.

Get in the car. Get in.

Sh*t! Look at this.

Oh, my Lord!

Don't point it at me.

- How do I know if it's loaded?

- First, stop pointing it!

You know, I've never held

a real gun before.

It's heavier than I thought.

Could you put it down, please?

I wonder if it's loaded.

How do you get this...

I can't do it. It's stuck.

Give me that gun! Take the wheel.

Goddamn you!

Take this.

I hold 10 men's lives in my hand.

It's a nine-millimetre.

You don't have the stopping power.

Right.

For that, you'd need magnum force.

- Easy, easy.

They'll ask you if you want

to buy a bottle of champagne.

- Don't.

- Explain.

"Champagne" means a private dance.

We can't afford it.

- "Champagne" is a code, right?

- Exactly.

- What does "vodka" mean?

- Nothing.

You can order anything you want

so long as it's not what?

Champagne.

What'll it be?

Let me get a vodka tonic

and a beer, please.

I'd like to buy your most expensive

bottle of champagne.

Dumb ass!

I need a major credit card.

This is a gentlemen's club.

You are expected

to behave as gentlemen.

I'll be giving you one rule.

If you break this rule,

I will break your arm.

Are we clear?

The ladies can touch you.

You cannot touch the ladies

at any point, under any circumstance.

- Is that clear?

- Crystal.

Enjoy your evening.

Have a seat right here, sexy.

Just relax.

Give it to me.

God!

Hands! Hands!

A**hole!

Told you, don't touch us!

- Jerk! Can't listen to sh*t!

- What did I tell you?

What did I f***ing tell you?!

The other one!

Take it easy, man!

Am I talking to you?

I'm talking to your

f*ggot friend here!

- Stop f***ing kicking him!

- Think you can beat my ass?

Want a piece of this?

Think you can beat my ass?

Everybody back the f*** away!

Is there another way out?

Behind you. The door.

What are you doing?

Getting rid of the weapon.

It has your fingerprints on it.

Do we answer?

It's probably Orange County,

wondering where his car is.

They can trace us

even if we don't answer.

Go find the gun.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Just because some rapper's

got a white buddy...

...doesn't mean that

he's Sidney f***ing Poitier.

You pat him down.

You check him out.

I know.

You know what wakes me up at night,

covered in a cold sweat?

Knowing you're no worse than anyone

else in your screwed-up generation.

Give me a towel.

In the old days...

...you know how you got to the top?

By being better than

the guy ahead of you.

And how do you people get to the top?

By being so f***ing incompetent,

the guy ahead of you can't do his job.

So he falls on his ass, and,

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