God Bless America Page #7

Wow.

Look at all these people.

Yeah, I wish I had an AK-47.

Bam.

Supporters of Michael Fuller

are calling him a hero,

believing that his homicide is tied

to the outspoken support of the war

and possibly the work

of a terrorist sleeper cell

within our own borders.

Fuller was right.

He's a f***ing martyr.

F***ing morons.

I don't care.

I'm just glad he's dead.

Is that your ex-wife?

Yeah.

She's pretty.

Yep.

I don't care if we're late.

I hate school!

I thought that was you, Frank.

Oh, hi, Brad.

New wheels?

Yeah.

You want to come say hi?

School sucks!

Nah.

They look kind of busy.

Who's your friend?

A friend.

Ohh...

Well, uh... give us a call

if you decide to stay in town.

I'm sure the girls

would love to see ya.

Yeah, thanks.

Hey... don't tell 'em we were here,

alright?

Oh, roger that.

Will you get Ava's backpack

from the house?

Sure thing!

I want my backpack.

You're killing me, honey.

You're killing me!

So, are we gonna kill him?

No! Not that one!

I hate that one!

I want my other one!

Just... Just get the blue one.

Get the blue one.

Nah.

I want him to suffer.

Isn't it early for beer?

This doesn't seem like the type of place

to order the Cognac.

Have you been to a doctor?

Yeah. I'm fine.

Give me your hand.

It's not gonna work.

Is this some kind

of new-age bullshi...

Aah, aah, aah, aah!

Shh...

Can't believe that's actually working.

Shut up and give me your other hand.

Gentle.

Aah, aah!

You know what you need, Frank?

A straw?

You need a vacation.

# Let's take a boat to Bermuda #

# Let's take a plane to St. Paul #

# Let's take a kayak

to Quincy or Nyack... #

Because you're all Commies!

Pinko Commies!

Here, take all my money.

What, are we in Russia?

Are we in Russia?

Is that what's going on here?

Run, man!

# ...We'll travel around

from town to town #

# We'll visit every state #

# And I'll repeat, "I love you, sweet" #

# In all the 48 #

# Let's go again to Niagara... #

You really got to take both those spots?

Yeah. F*** you.

No, f*** you.

# ...Let's leave our hut, dear #

# Get out of our rut, dear #

# Let's get away from it all #

# Let's motor down to Miami #

# Let's climb the Grand Canyon wall #

# Let's catch a tuna way out in Laguna #

# Let's get away from it all #

# Let's travel south of the border #

# Find me a real Spanish shawl,

ha ha #

# Let's eat tamales

in downtown Nogales #

# Let's get away from it all #

# We'll charter boats

and airplanes, too #

# To far-off spots unknown... #

Back in! Back in!

Get back in!

# ...To find somewhere

where we can be alone... #

That's beautiful.

Yeah. That's God's country.

# ...Then off to Reno,

but just to play Keno... #

# Let's breeze to Buckingham palace #

# We'll tell 'em we dropped by to call #

# And be socially busy

with Philip and Lizzy #

# Let's get away from it all #

Come on, Frank.

Let's dance.

Oh, I don't dance.

Oh, come on! I'll lead!

I doubt that.

# All of Europe is waiting to greet us #

# Lots of good friends said to call #

# Then, after our roamin',

good old home-sweet-homin' #

# Let's get away #

# Won't you please take me away? #

Come on, everybody!

# Let's get away from it all #

Want to get away?

So do I.

# Let's get away #

Thank you.

I know.

Everybody on board.

We're getting away, aren't we?

Thank you.

Oh, stop it!

Thank you so much.

No, it's always my pleasure.

I loved doing that,

but next I'm gonna do a little rap song

you're gonna like.

"F*** the Police."

No, I'm kidding!

I'm not gonna do that one.

Thank you all.

Where'd you hide 'em

after you killed 'em?

I told you the truth, Sheriff.

I didn't kill them.

I just wanted to scare them...

I've been thinking.

Let's go legit.

What do you mean?

Turn ourselves in?

No.

Like, let's move to France

or some other country

that hates Americans.

Well, if we get caught later,

France wouldn't extradite us.

And we could have

a cute, little French farm

and raise cute, little French goats

and make cute, little French cheeses,

and have a bunch of other

adorable, little French animals.

Sounds nice.

Here, give me your hand.

I still can't believe that works.

Do you know

where you're going to?

Well, we know where

Steven Clark is going to.

The "American Superstarz"

performer

has been asked to perform

on the live finale of the show

after last week's failed attempt

to take his own life.

Good news.

We should kill all those people.

They make fun of that guy

till he's ready to kill himself.

Then, they exploit him

so everybody can feel better

about laughing at him

and pushing him over the edge

in the first place.

I really hate this country.

That's why we're moving to France.

Hello.

Hey, Doc, it's Frank Murdoch.

You left a message.

Yes, I did, Frank.

Uh, I have some bad news.

Uh, you don't have a brain tumor.

What?!

You're not gonna die.

I don't understand.

I mean, I saw the tumor.

You showed it to me.

Yes, there was a tumor in an M RI,

but that was Frank Burdoch with a "B",

not Frank Murdoch with an "M".

Wait, what is the bad news, then?

Because this cocksucker Burdoch's

probably gonna sue me.

He's a real ball-buster.

You know what I mean?

But how come my head hurts

all the time, then?

I don't f***ing know, Frank.

I mean, maybe you sit

too close to the computer.

Maybe you got high blood pressure.

Maybe you don't exercise enough.

Maybe it's, uh, too much Viagra,

too much caffeine.

What the f*** do I know?

Hey, uh, you're not gonna sue me,

are ya?

Ah, no, no.

No, I wouldn't do that, Doc.

Well, that's a relief, Frank.

Well, hey,

thanks for the good news, Doc.

Well, I got to go call

that cocksucker Burdoch now

and tell him the bad news.

You take care, Frank.

Let's sell the car

and move to France.

Really?

Oh, I think it would be

trs magnifique.

I know a lot of French.

I know a lot of wines.

I know how to ask where the library is.

I know how to bum a cigarette.

I know Oh l l, but that's about it.

I know Oui.

What else could we need?

Speaking of which, I have to wee.

Oh, snap.

Hey, buddy.

What's up with the girl?

Pardon?

I know she's not your daughter.

I can tell by the way

she makes you smile.

She's my niece.

Yeah, I got a lot of nieces.

How much for a date?

I think you got the wrong idea, sir.

Yeah, you stick to that story.

I don't think I do.

You have a good one.

I know you're gonna have a good day.

God bless.

Hey, don't use up

all the hot water this time.

I won't!

God, you better not be

this uptight in France.

You don't have to shower in France.

We'd like to take this chance

to thank everybody in our community

and the media

for helping us in our search

for Roxanne.

We pray that she's still alive

and that she makes it home to us.

Roxanne, we miss you

and we love you.

Anyone with any information on the...

God f***in' damn it!

You son of a b*tch!

Get off me!

Frank?

Is that you?

What happened?

- Your parents!

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