Gone Doggy Gone Page #6

- People make fun of

you when you push her around in

that stroller!

No they don't!

You put little bonnets on her!

I don't put bonnets on her.

- If you want a baby.

- Have a baby.

I don't want a baby.

Wait. You don't want a baby?

Why the Hell not?

None of your business!

I thought we were waiting until

we're financially ready to like-

It's not about the

money. I work seventy hours

a week. I don't have time. I

travel. I'm bi-coastal.

I'm in Europe half the year.

Then quit your job

and start your clothing line!

What's the problem?

Yeah, I mean you

could work from home and

we can like pool our resources

together-

You're folding your arms again!

So, you are closed off!

Abby, open up!

Wh-why, tell us why, you don't

want a baby? I want to know!

Why don't you want a baby?!!!

Okay! Okay! Okay! I am...

afraid of babies.

Really?

Yes.

What?

I...have never actually held

one. I've had the opportunity,

but I'm afraid that I will drop

them because they are soft

and delicate and they are like

little birds with no feathers.

Are you serious right now?

I'm totally serious. It is not

hard to accidentally kill a

baby. People do it all the time.

It's always on the news. They

have tiny breathing holes and

their heads are mushy. What

if you think that they're crying

and they're actually bleeding

internally? I don't want that

kind of pressure. I don't want

to be a bad parent.

- That's so f***ing stupid.

- That came out wrong.

t's just... I want someone to

make a family with.

Well, then stop dating boy

scouts and date someone with

some faults like the rest of us.

You deserve Taylor Lautner and,

and the rest

of us get Jason Alexander?

Thanks.

Grow up, Kat. You're 42.

I am?

Abby?

SOUND:

It's gonna be really hard for

me to trust you for a while.

I know.

But you're my best friend

and I love you. I do!

I love you too.

And I want to believe. I do, I

believe that you were

f***ed up and lonely and

desperate and really creepy!

Thank you!

Don't! Don't push it.

'kay.

But mostly you've been a really

good friend to me. And I want

you to know that I did hear

you, and... I will consider

giving up the stroller and

possibly the baby Bjorn.

And I'll cut back on the wine

except on the weekend, and

Holidays and special occasions,

but otherwise it's like, none!

You know?

Okay.

I..I-I'm still gonna wipe

Laila's ass with baby wipes

because to me that's just hygienic

and she sleeps in the bed.

Agreed.

And we're not boring.

I know you're not.

Not all the time.

SOUND:

Hey.

Hi.

Can I come in?

You want a Bloody Mary?

SOUND:

I don't want to lose you over

this stupid job.

t's... I'll support you in any

decision you plan on making,

okay? Cause I know you'll

make the right one.

Cause you're a good person.

The right decision is to give

the dog back.

I know. I really want to...

SOUND:

Hair of the dog.

Mmm!

PHONE RINGS:

It's Dan!

- I wanna make a deal.

- Jill is willing to give Laila

back, but no jail time.

A-And the ransom, the

ransom was just a ruse.

And, she's super sorry.

Whose side are you on?

Ah, I-I'm on the side of

everybody wins here.

Are you f***ing her?

Ah. Ah, no, let, let's, let's

just say things have changed,

alright?

He's f***ing her.

Okay, that's the deal you got

it? And I want ten grand

an-and-and that's a fee, that is

not a ransom. I want to make

that perfectly clear! Alright. I

wanna rendevous at 5pm

Occupado and 110th.

Say twenty paces in.

Just say it. Just say it.

Say it.

And I want it. I want it to

be twenty paces in.

You know what? The desert

is almost as original

as the quarry, and I can hear

you breathing Jill.

- It's remote, and no cops!

- There's any cops and we're out!

That's it!

Whirrr!

That's us drivin' away like

bats outta Hell!

Okay. Thank you so much!

She's like a giant squid.

Thank you! Ahhh! Okay. Bye!

What if we don't move to

San Francisco?

Really?

Yeah, I can work from home. You

could start your line, and we

would have more time together

and we could work on-

Yes.

Yes?

Mhmm.

Unity Consciousness!

SOUND:

Hello?

MUSIC Sappy Instrumental

BFFFFFFFFF song

Just because we have to say

goodbye doesn't mean that

I don't love you, but I know

that they do too.

I'll always hold you here in...

my heart.

Somebody hates you.

Clearly. You owe me for

the door.

Go ahead. What are you waiting

for? Shoot!

I'm afraid of you.

Come on!

I'm afraid you'll be defensive.

What'd I do?!

You worked too much. I was

a little kid and you left

me alone all the time. I mean,

I-I know I was mature for my

age, but I was

only 10! I felt abandoned.

I never abandoned you! I had to

work! Oh! You are so

ungrateful! What was I supposed

to do, huh? I was a single

parent. I worked 60 hours a

week, taught jazz, tap, ballet

on the weekends... tell me how

you'd do it smarty?!

I don't know! I just missed you!

SOUND:

SOUND:

Ring it again!

SOUND:

SOUND ominous Italian music

What is going on?! I can't

see anything!

Jill Tozer!

That's my Dad. He was in the

driveway when I got here.

Alright.

Ow!

What?!

I said I had this under control.

- Danny! Danny!

- I know you can hear me!

No! No! No! No! I am not

harbouring criminals!

Get out of my house! Get!

Out the back! Go!

What?!

Goddamn it, Danny!

I'm goin' in.

Just let the experts

handle this.

What makes you think

they can handle it?

MUSIC ominous Italian music

Uncle Morty?

Hey, Danny.

Hey, I told you son,

Morty doesn't operate well on

extended deadlines. He started

to doubt that I got the

money coming to me.

Oh, come on, Uncle Morty.

Don't mess with Morty! I know

he's like an Uncle to you, but

make no mistake he'll cut your

balls off!

Ah, I see the money's here. Get

over here with the rest of them.

It's-it's okay he's with me,

just do what he says.

Give me back my dog!

That's your dog? I don't blame

you for being upset. Somebody

took my dog, I'd put a f***ing

hole in their head.

You give the dog back. You hand

over the money, and you

open the bag.

- Well, thank you for everything.

- Nice to meet you. Thank you.

What's the rush?

Oh, my God.

What's this? What is this?!

It's a tomato.

It's a-an heirloom tomato.

This some kind of f***in' joke?

We got robbed.

What?!

SOUND:

Keep me in the game coach!

Go! Get out of here!

Thank you! Thank you!

This way!

SOUND:

You like tuna?

I'll make you a sandwich. I got

fresh cucumbers.

I got romaine from the garden. I

got fresh avo, yeah, I've got

some mustard that I just bought

at the farmer's market and

some hot, delicious, crusty

baguettes.

SOUND:

What about pudding? You got any

pudding?

- I don't have any pudding.

- I don't know what

happened to it.

SOUND:

Whoa! Yeah! Bite.

SOUND:

SOUND:

I'll get it.

Okay.

C'mon, c'mon.

Oh, thank you.

Who is it?

Mormons.

- That's right, come here!

- Come here! Let go of that.

Grrr! Grrrr! Grrrr!

SOUND:

MUSIC lullaby plays

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