Gone with the Bullets Page #2

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- Miss Wanyan Ying!

And now, a song so new

that Mr. Gershwin won't even write it...

...for another 10 years.

Miss White Tiger Foster,

as she shares with us the beauty...

...and the passion of "Summertime."

That's Wu-Six, Wu-Seven's sister.

Her dream is

to become China's Lumire.

Amazingly, tonight's footage will

wind up as China's first feature film.

The bad news?

It will be titled Executing Ma Zouri.

What a touching performance...

...about motherly love

from the American.

It'll be hard to top!

I admit there is nothing greater

than a mother's love.

Except?

Except maybe the love of a father.

So here she is! Singing Puccini...

...Miss Green Dragon.

- "O Mio Babbino Caro"!

- "O Mio Babbino Caro"!

Wanyan Ying always believed...

...she was the granddaughter

of Emperor Wanyan Aguda.

Me? I'm descended from Genghis Khan.

And just like that, Wanyan fell for me.

But I often doubt it.

We're together...

...but we're not really "together."

Wanyan has been

elected president twice.

Unfortunately, at the time,

Escort Nation...

...was just a brothel in Shanghai.

Now she has to defend her title...

...against an international field:

White Tiger from America...

...and Green Dragon from Europe.

Ladies and gentlemen!

Our global broadcast

has the world buzzing!

We've received over 2300 telegrams.

From England, France, Austria...

- ...Japan, Russia.

- How can we pick one?

Without offending the others.

- We'll pick from a country.

- Smaller units.

- You mean families?

- Smaller.

An individual? Too many of those.

- So pick the most miserable.

- Like this one.

It's from Private Olgakov of Ukraine.

"Cease-fire reached with the enemy.

Awaiting Wanyan's appearance.

If she doesn't show...

...all hell will break loose."

- What does that mean?

- It means...

...if Madam President

doesn't show up...

...Ukraine will burn.

Madam President!

Stop fighting. Can you hear me?

- They can't reply.

- It's a live broadcast!

But not a phone call.

Perhaps they'll cable.

Hurry up, war's about to start again!

Why must men always fight?

You all deserve a good spanking!

Man needs woman's love.

Just like a child needs its mother.

Men, give up your arms...

...and return to the arms

of your women!

Let's be content as women.

Let's not fight like men.

- Yes, yes, yes.

- Green Dragon...

...and White Tiger...

...all have such beautiful moves.

I didn't want to step on their moments.

But now I've done it.

No, no, keep going!

In your opinion, what should we do?

Take less. Give more.

Giving makes one happy.

Giving blesses the world.

- Why not give a little yourself?

- A little? How about I give it all?

All my possessions.

Jewellery, clothing, car, property.

Everything.

- To who?

- To babies...

...who need milk.

To the poor who need homes.

To the old who need care.

I have money, and so do you.

To hell with middlemen!

I'll give directly. All!

Hold it, please!

I've just decided

I'll also donate myself.

My past, my present and my future.

Look at you!

I'm auctioning my virginity.

For 30 nights.

The bidding will start soon.

Please be generous!

All proceeds will be donated.

I won't keep a dime.

What did you say you'll auction off?

My virginity.

Funny, right?

A working girl speaking of virginity?

As the saying goes, the past is dead.

The future is unknown.

Like the sunrise or a newborn...

...like the dew or our new world...

...we greet each morning reborn.

Each night can also be a first.

The secret to love?

Treat each time like the first time!

Wanyan! Wanyan!

According to our charter,

whoever gets the loudest cheers...

...will be the next president.

And now...

...Green Dragon and White Tiger.

- On stage, please!

- On stage, please!

Who votes for Miss White Tiger?

Wanyan! Wanyan!

- What about Green Dragon?

- Wanyan! Wanyan! Wanyan!

Just as we planned,

Wanyan became...

...the president of Escort Nation.

We thought the story would end here.

But stories, like life, get out of control.

Good news!

Telegram from the Ukrainian front!

Permanent cease-fire.

- Cease-fire!

- Cease-fire!

Wanyan! Wanyan! Wanyan!

- Listeners!

- Honoured guests!

Prepare yourselves

for the biggest, the boldest surprise.

Who will crown the new president?

A glittering star.

A living legend. She is....

Madam Sai.

- Jin.

- Hua.

History calls her

the Joan of Arc of China.

Alone, she faced the Allied armies...

...and their horny German commander.

She is Madam Sai.

Super siren!

Dearest friends...

...the eyes of the world

are upon you.

So open your chequebooks

and be generous to your new president.

The crowning of Miss Wanyan...

...will conclude our auction.

We succeeded.

Master Wu-Seven's money

became clean.

In fact, we cleaned him out.

We spent it all.

Every last dime.

Miss! Miss!

Miss! One more thing.

- Yes?

- I don't get it.

You didn't eat or drink,

you even brought your own bed.

- Now you even refuse a tip?

- Grandpa...

...I did it for charity.

Miss! Miss!

This is my mother's ring.

I never married,

so I want you to have it.

Please, your bid was payment enough.

At my age, I thought I'd seen it all.

Life had lost its lustre.

But now...

...you just showed me

what I've missed out on.

You have re-lit the fire within me.

That's why I'm here.

To rekindle your fire.

Can I have your number?

Give him my card.

Grandpa, here's my card. Call me.

Grandpa, keep your fire lit.

I'll hold a torch for you.

Forget me not!

- Next stop.

- Joseph's place.

Lafayette, B1389.

I thought our next appointment

was with Mr. Liu.

Mr. Liu won the bid originally...

...but he gifted her to Joseph.

He can't do that! Gift her away!

We can't be picky.

We must reward every bidder.

The world watches.

- Where to, which road?

- Lafayette, B1389.

It's right here.

In Red Chamber, it's written:

"When the fake is taken to be real...

...the real often becomes fake."

Wanyan really believes

she's president now.

Awashed in platonic love...

...she treats me like a lowly driver.

I drive her from "charity" to "charity."

I try to wake her up...

...but she's lost in her dream.

What a mess!

We're heading for trouble.

Shuwan Gou,

I thought we were going to Joseph's.

This is Zhu-Three's place.

Joseph is Zhu-Three!

Really?

I know a Zhu-Three. I hate him.

- Hope it's not the same guy.

- Same guy.

Then it's your fault. If I knew...

...I wouldn't have brought her here.

Wanyan said we shouldn't be picky.

The whole world is watching us.

She's acting presidential.

Joseph or Zhu-Three,

we have to treat them equally.

She's a pro. I respect her.

Ma Zouri! Ma Zouri! Ma Zouri!

No! Oh, no! Ma Zouri!

I thought we were friends!

Peking, Shanghai, Paris.

I've been to all their best restaurants.

On several occasions...

...the restaurant had but one table.

And I was the only guest.

It must be a thing with you men.

Come.

This is the highest building

in Shanghai.

Just opened today.

I took over the restaurant.

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