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Good Morning, Vietnam Page #6
- R
- Year:
- 1987
- 121 min
- 3,787 Views
- Well, I thought I'd come|and help smooth things out--|- Don't help and don't smooth.
And you-- You are not funny,|but you are a maniac...
and you'd better start|changing your life.
Sir?
Thank you for that|constructive criticism. It's--
It's a privilege to take comedy notes|from a man of your stature.
Fine.Just don't|let it happen again.
Whoa.
In the dictionary under "a**hole,"|it says "See him."
Why am I here? All right, we're gonna|play some music for you right now.
Here we go. Here's a little|James Brown comin' your way.
Baby, help me, please.
Whoa, I feel good
I knew that I would, now
I feel good
I knew that I would, now
So good
I got you
- Ow|- Ow! Ow! Back again.
When I hold you in my arms
I know that I can do no wrong
And when I hold you in my arms
My love can't do me no harm
Like sugar and spice
I feel nice
- Like sugar and spice|- Sugar and spice!
- So nice|- So nice!
- I got you
- I feel good|- Tell 'em, James. Hurt 'em now.
- I knew that I would, now|- Good God, help me!|Work through it. Ow!
I feel good
I knew that I would
So good
- Sir, Walter Cronkite|lives in New Jersey.|- It was a joke, sir.
- Yes!|- Sarcasm, sir.|- Up in Bergen County.
- That's a form of humour, sir.|Yes, sir.|- Oh, it's Hackensack!
- Yes, sir.|- How do I know?|- I'll make sure he gets the message.
- We're pretty happy with him,|too, sir. Thank you.|- Yes, I'm sure that wasn't|Walter Cronkite.
- I will tell him, sir.|- Didn't I speak to you before?|- Okay, sir. Thank you.
Very good! All right, now.|All right. Let's recap now. Okay.
- If someone is not telling the truth,|you say that they are full of--|- Sh*t!
- Sh*t.|- Yes! Okay.
If someone is making you angrier|and angrier, therefore you have--
- Pissed me off.|- Pissed me off!
Okay.Join the others if you can.|All right. Let's see--
If you say that, hey, some people in|a car-- some gypsies, they cut you off.
- All of a sudden you--|- Flip them the bird.|- The bird!
Very good. Okay. Now we got|a special situation right now.
Okay, there's a Puerto Rican waitress.|She comes over, brings you|a little thing of red soup.
She's got some tomato soup.|Oh, she slips, she spills it...
on your brand-new gaberdine pants that|you paid more than a colour TV for.
- You're a little angry,|so you say to her-- Minh?|- Uh, look what you did...
and god damn it|and stupid and crap.
That's stupid.|You don't call someone crap.
No, you step on crap.|You don't call it to a person.
- You can step on crap. I know you can.|- Yes, but they can be full of sh*t.|He said.
No, no. You see, you-you-you step|in sh*t. You can be full of crap.
I'm pretty sure you can step in crap.|I once saw it in a French movie.
How can some person look like a sh*t?|It impossible.
I think-- Okay, let's stop with the--|We can stop with the debate|on the great ca-ca right now.
Let's try a very special situation.|Wilkie, somethin' special, okay?|You go into a restaurant, okay?
A waitress comes up to you. You're, eh--|You're wearing your best new suit.
She comes up, she spills soup|all over you, looks at you like...
"Eh, I'm sorry.|What are you gonna do about it,|a**hole?" What do you say to her?
What would you say? They spilled|something on your pants. What would|they do? What would you do?
I do nothing.
Come on, Wilkie. It's cursing class.|You're gettin' a little pissed off.|What would you do?
I just remain reticent.
Okay, she goes in the kitchen, she gets|a knife, she starts stabbing you.
She's stabbing you.|She's putting forks in you.|She's got spoons in your eyes, Wil.
They're startin' to cut you with knives.|They're puttin' spoons in your eyes.|What would you do, Wil?
- What would you do?|- I'm waiting to die.
Mr Cronauer, we like your lessons|better than the book's.
- When we play baseball?|- When you teaching us softball?
Well, first we have to have|a little spring training, and when|I think you're ready, I'll try.
- Where are you come from?|- Queens. Bayside, Queens.
- What are Queens?|- Tall, thin men who like show tunes.
No? Big men with moustaches|named Mary who wear mascara.
Yeah, lakai!
What is a lakai?
Relax, already, crazy American.
- I make a date with you|and Trinh tomorrow.|- You did?
Nearby the larch tree, near Viet Hoa,|by the food and flower vendors where you|burn your mouth on the noodles.
- Where's that?|- The noodles, remember?
- When you burn your mouth.|- Oh, gosh, yeah.|- But I warn you: you not like it|when you get there.
- You say it ridiculous.|- Why? That's the most|ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
- Hi.|- Hi!
Oh, God.|This could be very ugly. Hi.
Chaperons.
In Vietnam, family often come...
to meet someone--|to meet someone.
Hello. Hey.|Well, the gang's all here, huh?
Oh, God, help me.|This is wonderful.
Well, you know,|you're very beautiful.
You're also very quiet.
And I'm not used to girls being|that quiet unless they're medicated.
Normally I go out with girls|who talk so much you could|hook 'em up to a wind turbine...
and they could power|a small New Hampshire town.
You talk, I think, very much.
Well, you-- you see, I'm not used to|going on a date with a grand jury,|and it makes me a little nervous.
Oh. I don't want makes|you nervous, "Cronow."
I knows you very nice.
And for trusting,|you is the best...
on the gently of what you say...
or never to be for both|the same and another.
Well, I had you there, babe,|but then you lost me at the end.
Hey, hey.|Hey, Uncle Phil.
Hey, there you go. Whoa!|Got one for you.
Hey, there we go. For you.|Here we go. For you.
Knock yourselves out.
What's 1 / 1 3th of a dollar|among friends? Come on.
No problem.|It's-- They're havin' a great--
Hey, listen,|I know there's no way.
But it doesn't mean|we can't have a few laughs.
Hey, I'll take|whatever you can give...
'cause I'm just happy|to be with you.
You want to see a movie|or somethin'?
- We must to ask the people.|- Hey, that's no problem.
Attention, shoppers.|People. People, settle.
"Under the Boardwalk"?|You know that one?
"Shout" by the Isley Brothers.|You know that?
- You know any American songs at all?|- "Puff the Magic Dragon."
You know "Puff the Magic Dragon"?|Can you sing it?
Puff the Magic Dragon
- Living by the tree|- That's wonderful.
Hey. Twelve, please. Um--
Take a blanket made for two now
Add a boy and a girl
That's a game for me and you now
Yeah, let's give it a whirl
Beach blanket bingo
Beach blanket bingo
Beach blanket bingo
That's the name of the game
My thoughts exactly.
Why can't I read this?|It's what's goin' on here now.
- They'd never approve|of that being released.|- That's censorship, Edward.
- That's not what America's all about.|- We're not in America, sir.
Can we please not get into this right|now? You're in the middle of a show.
Jesus, you could put amphetamine freaks|to sleep with this sh*t.
Got an "Agreement on Guam"?|Sounds like bird droppings.|Oh, here's somethin' exciting.
"Hubert Humphrey visits Capitol Hill."|Sounds like a children's story.
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"Good Morning, Vietnam" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/good_morning,_vietnam_9191>.
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