Good Morning, Vietnam Page #8

You have to meet her today.|Otherwise you miss your big chance.

- Don't want to miss my big chance.|- Yes. Come. We go.

- You sound like you learned English|from Tonto. "Come. We go."|- Come on.

Okay.

- I still can't believe|she really wants to see me.|- Yeah.

I guess that beach movie|really impressed her, huh?

I gotta get her something.|Uh, what about bananas?

- No.|- No, that doesn't say|the right thing. You're right.

How 'bout--

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my bar!|Why they do that?

Get back!

- You can't just leave 'em in|this sh*t here. Come on.|- This boy's gone.

Let's go. Come on.|Come on.

Get back.

lapping the outside of the building.

Hey, where's he going?

What do you think you're doing?|You know you're forbidden to read|anything not checked by this office.

- What's there to check?|I was there. It happened.|- Airman, you know the rules.

If this is a legitimate news story,|it must go through proper channels.

Listen, Tweedle-dee,|it's an actual event. Where do you|think this came from, shaving?

It's the truth.|I just want to report the truth.|It'd be a nice change of pace.

- What's goin' on here?|- Sir, will you listen to me?

This is not official news, Airman. As|far as I'm concerned, it didn't happen.

- It did happen and I was--|- You shut your mouth.

What are you afraid of, Dickerson?|People might find out|there's a war goin' on?

This news|is not official, Airman.

You want everyone going under|the assumption it's perfectly|safe here, don't you? Well, it's not.

The fighting's not just in the hills.|It's downtown. It's a couple|of f***in' blocks--

I said it is none of|your goddam business!

I see your point.|I'm sorry.

I guess I get inside, hit these|air conditioners, I get a little dizzy.

Thanks for settin' me straight.|I'll be okay.

Marty Lee, filling in for my buddy...

your requests, will return tomorrow.

for the King Kong of Saigon...

Adrian Cronauer.

Good morning, Vietnam!

but that's my trademark...

sounds too depressing.

right now to the news.

From England, today,|Princess Margaret threw a shoe!

Easy, Madge. Also, uh, Elizab--|Queen Elizabeth, Liz-- Elizabeth Taylor!

Elizabeth Taylor.|She's still married after six months.

Way to go, Liz. Yea!

All right! In Saigon today,|according to official sources...

nothing actually happened.

One thing that didn't officially happen|was a bomb didn't officially explode|at 14:30 hours...

unofficially destroying|Jimmy Wah's Cafe.

- Get him out of there.|- Three men were unofficially|wounded, and two men...

at this time are unofficially dead.|- It's locked!

and fire department responded...

what's believed to be unofficial|at this present moment.

- Turn the power off in that studio.|- But his show is--|- Turn it off! Now!

I just wanted|to think that you should--

The man should be|court-martialed, sir.

You think this is the most serious set|of affairs I have to address this week?

- Well, it's not.|- I can't believe you're|gonna pass on this, General.

- The man is a goddamned subversive.|- He made a mistake, Dick.

Mistake, sir? I don't want to be around|when he broadcasts US troop movements|to the other side.

I run the station according to strict|guidelines set by military intelligence.

Military intelligence?|There's a contradiction in terms.

Sir, the man is|a walking keg of dynamite.

In the eight weeks he's been on|the air, General, he's disobeyed|orders as to style and content.

He's read unofficial news.|What's he gonna be like in six months?

What's he gonna be like when|he's ten times as popular, General?

- How easy is it gonna be|to get him off the air then?|- Who'll do the Cronauer show?

Well, Hauk can do it, sir,|till I find a replacement.

- Okay, for now, suspend him.|- Sir, you've made the correct choice.

Right here, right here on our show,|Diana Ross and the "Suprawns."

Set me free why don't you, babe

why don't you, babe

You just keep me steamin'on

Thank you very much. Let me introduce|the members of the band. Larry, Pisces.

Thank you very much.

- What'd he say?|- He say you drink too much already.

Well, tell him I drink|so I can be this funny.

It's not funny at all,|he said.

Tell him thanks. It's nice|to bomb in another language.

You will get sick|if you drink some more. Come on.

My village not too far from here.|You could come there for resting.

You could see|how we live.

Listen, Sparky, I don't think|seeing your little production of|Our Town is gonna cheer me up.

- You see Trinh there.|- I'll drive.

Red leather, yellow leather.|Red-- Led--

- Sir, sir.

i-it's not funny, sir. It's sad.

do comedy. It's not in your blood.

Comedy is what you make it.

of great material. Right, Abersold?

be hittin' bottom, sir.

If it isn't funny, then why did I|hear you laughing when you typed it?

of something else.

Thank you for your support.|Now I've got a show to do.

Ask around.

with all due respect...

you might lay an egg-- I mean a big egg.

you're it. But hey, such is life.

with power tools.

exciting sound of Petula Clark.

-Of the Beach Boys.

Marty Lee Dreiwitz.

temporary assignment...

a surprise for you.

- Please welcome to the microphone...

of oral, the Westmoreland of wit...

swingin' Steven Hauk!

And greetings.

Then--

Lieutenant Steve!"

"It's me, your old pal Frenchy. "

Listen, Frenchy, let me ask you|something. Do you like good food?

"Oh, but of course.|Uh, the French love good food."

Well, then, I guess that would|make you an "Eatie Gourmet."

"Oh, ho, ho, ho, Lieutenant Steve."

- Oh, Frenchy.|- "Oh, ho, ho, Lieutenant Steve."

Frenchy. You know,|I really shouldn't kid Frenchy...

because sometimes he|"Stan Getz" mad at me...

and he could "Al Hirt" me.

"Uh, Lieutenant Steve,|let's play some music."

Okay, Frenchy.|What would you like to hear?

"Well, uh, I love a good polka|as much as the next man."

Well, a good polka it is|for my good friend Frenchy.

I think some apologies|are in order.

You're not gonna continue|this broadcast, are you, sir?

- What are they doing?|- Oh, they're Buddhists.

They're sitting|for peace, wisdom and knowledge.

They're waiting|for enlightenment.

This man lose one son|from blasting American mine.

His father and brother|was killed by French long ago.

I think it's not fair to him.

Look.

He's going,|"No big deal." Look.

when you got that moment when

wacka-wack, wacka-wack

be and you feel that the time you see

I know and I'm movin'

Look. Up there. Pull.

Pull.

You not understand.|You not.

We no future together, "Cronow."

My country, maybe no future.

Hey, I like you. I just want|to be your friend, okay?

- I know it sounds dumb.|- I-- I not can do this, "Cronow."

No. No friend, "Cronow."

Not good for, for me.

My brother,|okay, friends.

But Vietnam ladies not friends.

Please. Okay?

Not friends.

Great week.

That's about as good a polka|as you'll ever hear.

You want Cronauer|back on the air.

We've gotten duffel bags|filled with information asking|for Cronauer's reinstatement.

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