Goodbye, Columbus Page #3

Can you remember that?

Stack three?

Someone up there

will show you the way.

Go ahead, it's all right. Go ahead.

- What'd you let him in for?

- It's a public library.

You know where I found him?

In the stacks looking at the nudes.

He was hiding there all morning.

- Did you throw him out?

- Of course I threw him out.

- You know what those boys do there?

- John, I don't think they do it there.

They do so, I've seen them.

Not out in the open, of course,

- but you can tell what they're doing.

- Why don't you let him alone.

I'm gonna see Mr. Scapello and

tell him to send somebody to get him.

John... Gloria, Gloria, watch

the desk a minute, will you? John?

John, John.

You want to give Mr. Scapello an ulcer

after his egg-and-pepper sandwich?

- I'll get him. I gotta go there anyway.

- It's disgusting, what they do up here.

Don't worry about it.

They're the ones who are gonna get

warts all over their dirty little hands.

Hey, mister, where's this place?

That's Tahiti.

It's an island in the Pacific Ocean.

That ain't no place you

could go, is it? Like a resort?

You could go there, I suppose.

It's very far. People live there.

Look at this one.

Man, ain't that the life.

Who took these pictures?

No, he didn't take them.

He painted them.

Paul Gauguin. He was a Frenchman.

Is he a white man or a colored man?

He's white.

Oh, I knew that.

Hey, look at this one.

Man, ain't that the life?

Yeah, it sure is.

There he is. Hey.

- Hurry or we'll miss our plane.

- OK.

You're gonna sit with Julie

because Carlotta's off.

What do you mean?

We're taking Ron to the airport.

Julie doesn't wanna come.

We'll be right back.

In a minute.

Hey, do I get all the cake

and milk I want?

Close the door.

There's air conditioning.

I'm glad you've decided

you're gonna stay with me.

- So am I.

- Wanna play five-and-two?

- No.

- Why not?

- Wanna read a book report I wrote?

- No, not now.

- What do you want to do?

- Why must we do anything?

- Why don't you go watch television.

- All right.

You better wash that,

or you'll get diarrhea.

They're not washed yet.

- Where's Ron going?

- Columbus.

- What for?

- To see Harriette. They're in love.

- What did you do with the cherries?

- What cherries?

You put them in your pocket.

- Wanna play Ping-Pong?

- Can I serve?

Yeah, when it's your turn to.

Can I take that one over?

I hurt my finger yesterday!

No, no, come on.

Give me the ball. Come on, come on!

Oh, can? Oh, please, my shoelace

came untied. Can I take that one?

Certainly not. Let's go, let's go!

You leaned over the table!

That's not legal!

- Three-nothing. It's my serve!

- You're a cheater! I hate you!

I'm gonna tell everybody

you were stealing fruit!

- You wanna take this book out?

- What?

You...

Oh, I'm sorry, there's a hold

on this book of Gauguin...

- What?

- There's...

Somebody called us and asked us

to hold this book for them.

You put your name and address

on this card,

and when the book is free,

I'll send you a notice.

- What?

- Quiet!

- I'll send you a notice!

- Any problem?

What?

No.

You're going on a vacation

tomorrow, aren't you?

- Yes.

- Well, you need it.

Natasha, Natasha, watch the desk

a second, will you? I'll be right back.

- Listen, you want this book?

- I haven't done anything wrong.

I haven't written in a book or nothing.

You could search me.

I know you haven't done anything

wrong. Come on down here.

Come here.

Now if you like the book so much,

why not take it home.

- Do you have a library card?

- No, sir.

- I haven't done anything wrong.

- No, no.

We give you a library card

so you can take books home.

You wouldn't have to come

every day.

You could take the book

right home with you.

Why don't you want me

around here?

- I didn't say I didn't want you here.

- I like it here.

I know, but the trouble is, someday,

somebody's gonna wanna take

this book out of here sometime.

Aren't you worried about that?

Why should I be worried?

Nobody done it yet.

And he comes in every day

in the morning.

Every day, and he always takes out

the same book.

And he just sits there in the corner on

the floor looking at the same pictures.

- I'm absolutely stuffed.

- You eat like a bird.

- Neil, what does your father do?

- For a living?

- My mother was wondering.

- He's a cat burglar.

- Seriously.

- Really, he's a cat burglar.

I don't know.

Tell her anything you want.

A merchant.

Tell her my father runs a store.

Why don't you live

with your parents in Arizona?

Because I'm supposed to be grown up,

and I can't pick up

and follow my parents

wherever they go.

Then why do you stay

with your aunt and uncle?

Do I really have to explain

to your mother why I live where I do?

It's not just my mother.

I wanted to know too.

Are you cold?

- No.

- Do you wanna go home?

Not unless you do.

Neil, what about the library?

Who wants to know about that?

- My father.

- And you?

And me.

I don't know. What about the library?

It's not my life's work,

but it's OK for now.

I sold shoes once.

When I got out of the Army I worked in

my Uncle Aaron's real-estate company

for a couple of months.

I liked the Army better than both of

those, and I like the library better too.

Answer your question?

I don't see why

it should make you angry.

I'm not angry.

How can I make you understand?

You wanna know what my plans are

for the future.

I'm not planning anything.

Besides, I'm not a planner.

I'm a liver.

I'm a pancreas.

The leaves have begun to turn

and redden on the trees.

Smoking fires line fraternity row...

That's just Ron

playing his Columbus record.

No kidding.

... has the loveliest girls in the country

because of the industry out there.

I'll drink to that. And...

Will you be happy if you break it?

Will you stop worrying

for two minutes?

Where is she at 1:00?

What do you want from her?

She's a college girl now, big girl.

She's not a baby anymore.

She only does it to aggravate me. She

meets a lot of boys from a nice family.

Would it kill her to bring one

home for a change?

How do you know

he's not from a nice family?

Why do you always stick up for her?

Whatever I say is wrong.

- She's always right.

- What did I say? All I said was,

- how do you know that he's not?

- Her against me. You always do that.

All right. Let her ruin her life.

Who cares what she winds up with?

It won't be on my conscience.

I'd like to know what you're starting up.

What are you starting up again for?

What do you want from her?

I tell you, keep it up,

she'll end up marrying a ditchdigger

for spite! You hear?

Turn off the set.

Will you turn off the set, please?

Good night.

Good night.

- Don't, Neil.

- Why not?

I could fall in love with you.

I don't want to.

Why?

- Don't I want to?

- Why could you fall in love with me?

- Well, I like the way you look.

- Is that all?

- I like your body.

- I like your mind.

- You don't like my body?

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