Goodbye, Columbus Page #4

- No, no.

Then it's denied you.

- I don't want to make love now.

- Why?

I don't know. I just don't feel like it.

Never?

No.

I just don't feel like it now.

When?

The next time I feel like it.

- Brenda. Brenda.

- What?

Brenda, could I see you

for just a second, please?

Could I see you?

Come here, come here.

- Please come over here for a second.

- What's the matter?

Could you come over

to the car for a second?

- You come here.

- I can't.

Will you call me

when you get home?

- After my cold shower or just before?

- What?

Come here. Come over here.

It's not listed.

It's my private phone number.

Oh, Brenda.

- It's 242-9970.

- Brenda!

- Neil?

- Brenda, are you in bed?

- Yes. Are you?

- Yes.

I'm in bed with you.

And I'm in bed with you.

You know, I have the shades drawn,

so it's very dark and I can't see you.

I can't see you either.

That was so nice, kissing you, Neil.

I'm still kissing you.

Will you go to sleep kissing me?

I won't go to sleep at all.

Don't say goodbye.

I won't.

I love you, Neil.

What's he doing?

He's in the closet making a phone call.

That's what he's doing.

You really mind taking me

to this party, don't you?

A little.

I just thought you might like

to meet my friends.

Why?

- Great, fantastic!

- Thank you, Josh.

Do you know that I've read

every book?

- Scotch and water, please.

...since we got married.

Phi Ep, right?

What? Give me that drink, will you?

- ZBT.

- No.

- Sammy!

- No!

- Dartmouth, right?

- No, no, no!

I don't want to go.

I'm having a wonderful time.

We can leave any time you want to.

I don't wanna leave.

I don't wanna leave.

- Hey, hey. Hey! Excuse me. Phi Ep.

- Neil...

Wait a minute. This is very important.

I'll get it. Sammy.

- No.

- Just a second, just a second.

- Dartmouth!

- That's right.

How are you? You know who's here?

You'll never guess who...

In a million years, who's here.

Come here! Hey! Just a moment.

- This is very important.

- He's here. Dartmouth!

- Yeah?

- Dartmouth!

- Dartmouth!

- Hey! How are you?

- '66.

- '64!

What's the matter?

I'm having a wonderful time.

I don't wanna leave.

I came to make ten new friends.

Now, I've only made seven so far.

I'll introduce you.

- Hello, Brenda.

- Hello, Don.

- All right, who was that?

- Don Farber.

The boy I was engaged to.

He plays basketball with Ron.

One of the fabulous Farber brothers!

I didn't recognize him without his

little shorts and shoes

and those other four guys

that are always...

My mother and father adore him.

Well, that's reason enough

right there to break up with him.

Yeah, it was.

How about the fellow in the blue

blazer? Were you engaged to him too?

My boyfriend in the tenth grade.

- Really? The guy in white pants?

- My boyfriend in 11th grade.

- Didn't you go to summer school?

- Don't you have old girlfriends?

No, chew them up,

throw them away.

I keep mine.

Like a collection,

preserved and mummified.

- Thank you very much.

- What, are you mad?

- What is it, are you mad?

- What do you think?

They sound

like my father's generation.

Listen, you should be doing

half as well as most of them.

In what way? Making money?

That is nothing to be ashamed of.

It really kills you, doesn't it?

The kind of job I have?

You expect me to say I'm proud of it,

I want you to spend your life there?

- People do, you know.

- That's just fine

- if that's what you want.

- I don't know what I want.

I know what I don't wanna do.

Spend the rest of my life

grubbing for money

as if nothing else existed.

Like who?

Like my friends?

Are you implying that? Or my family?

Yeah, your family.

Your family and your friends.

What would you like to do?

Sleep in the park?

I don't know. Part of me.

Then just do it! Do something.

Don't just stand there and look down

your nose at everything.

Don't you think I know that?

I can't go all the way on either side.

They both seem so ridiculous to me.

Everything does.

I can't take anything seriously.

Make love to me.

You do love me, don't you?

I'll let you make love to me

whether you do or not,

so tell me the truth.

- Stay away from me, please.

- What?

Just stay away from me, OK?

I don't understand.

I don't understand.

- You do, don't you?

- What?

- Love me.

- No.

I want you to.

What about the kind of job I have?

No plans for the future, you know.

If you love me,

there won't be anything to worry about.

Well, then, of course I love you.

Let's take off all our clothes

and go swimming.

Are you crazy?

There's 100 people up there.

But that's what makes it fun.

Listen, you go in first,

and I'll close my eyes and wait for you.

And then when you come back,

you'll surprise me with the cold.

You really like games, don't you?

- Go ahead, I'll close my eyes.

- You go in.

- Will you close your eyes?

- No.

- Let's both go in. OK?

- I'd rather kiss you.

- No, I want to go swimming first.

- Go ahead. Go on, go on, go on.

- Ron's getting married!

- When?

Labor Day! He's marrying Harriette!

I'm gonna be a sister-in-law!

- You are?

- Hi. I'm gonna be a sister-in-law.

Yes, I heard that.

When did that happen?

This afternoon.

They talked long-distance

for half an hour,

and Harriette's gonna fly in next week

for an enormous wedding.

My parents are going crazy.

They've got to order flowers,

write out invitations and all that

and no time to do it.

The whole family is in an uproar.

Oh, and my father's

taking Ron into the business.

He's starting him at $200 a week, and

then he'll work his way up from there,

which will take him until October.

I thought he was gonna be

a gym teacher.

Not now. He has responsibilities.

Come on upstairs.

I'll take you to your room.

- I'd rather take you to your room.

- Maybe.

All night? Get up early and go back

to my room. Set the alarm.

- And wake up everybody?

- I'll wake myself up.

I can do that easy when I have to.

- Front. Front, please.

- Come on.

Oh, yes. This is very nice.

I like your room better. Where is it?

It's at the other end of the hall.

Later.

What happens if I can't wait?

Start without me!

Aunt Gladys,

leave me alone.

- Hi.

- Oh, hi.

Hey, congratulations.

Thanks.

Been wanting to talk with you.

- Well, this is really something, huh?

- Yeah.

- Getting married.

- Yeah.

- So how does it feel?

- Better, thanks.

Farber smacked it under the boards,

but I'll be able to play

in the next game. Thanks.

No.

- No, I meant getting married.

- Oh.

OK, I guess.

I don't really know.

I'm not married yet.

Hey, you know anything

about music?

Yes, a little.

You know I got all the Andre

Kostelanetz records ever made?

You like Mantovani?

I got all of him too.

I think semiclassicals

are really great.

And you can listen to my

Columbus record any time you'd like.

Great.

Company! At a time like this!

That's just what I need!

- For two weeks yet!

- I asked you, Mother.

You asked your father.

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