Goodbye, Columbus Page #5

You should ask me. He doesn't

know what extra work this is for me.

You'd think we didn't have

Carlotta and Jenny!

Carlotta and Jenny

cannot do everything.

- This is not the Salvation Army!

- What the hell does that mean?

You watch your tongue, young lady.

That may be very well for your

college friends, but not in this house!

- Will you stop that!

- Don't you raise your voice to me.

When was the last time you helped

around here?

I'm not a slave, I'm a daughter.

You ought to learn

what it means to earn a living.

- Why?

- Why?

Do you really wanna know why?

Because all you think about

is how pretty you are.

Well, you are gonna find out the world

doesn't owe you a living!

What is that supposed to mean?

It means you should find out how to

earn money and buy your own clothes.

My father earns all the money

he needs.

- Oh, yes.

- What are you complaining about?

When was the last time

you washed the dishes?

My God!

Carlotta washes the dishes!

Don't you "my God" me!

Oh, Mother,

why the hell are you like this?

You bring a boy in this house, a

strange boy... Are you listening to me?

For two weeks, without even

bothering to ask me. A strange boy.

Don't you run away

when I'm talking to you!

Brenda is crying!

- You'll get yours, you little bastard!

- Brenda!

Mama! Brenda cursed!

Brenda cursed at me!

Are we going

to the Hellmans' or not?

Come on, hush, hush. Let's go. Hush.

Goddamn her.

Maybe I should go.

- They're going visiting, thank God.

- Brenda. Brenda, look at me.

- I hope they never come back.

- Brenda. Brenda!

- Ron is still in his room.

- His door is closed.

You can't hear anybody walk here,

because they all creep

in their sneakers.

It's Ron, really, getting married.

And me.

With Harriette a family member,

they'll forget I exist!

That's OK with you. What is this?

What is this? What's in here?

Money!

What is this?

- Our old furniture.

- Yeah? How old?

From when we were poor.

Come on. Come on, will you? You're

getting filthy. Let's get out of here.

- It's not here.

- What?

- I told you, the money.

- You didn't tell me. What money?

What money?

When I was little and we just moved

here, my father brought me up here.

Brought me into this room one day,

and he said that...

...if anything ever happened to him,

he wanted me to know where there

was money that I should have.

He said it was for me

and not for anybody else.

That I should never tell

anybody about it.

Not even Ron or my mother.

How much was it?

It was three 100 dollar bills.

I'd never even seen one before.

Well, where is it?

Maybe somebody stole it.

I don't know! I didn't even know

it was missing until just now.

I guess he took it away.

I always had everything,

so I didn't need it.

I guess he knew I didn't need it

and just took it away.

Why did you want it now?

I don't know.

I wanted to find it and rip it into 1,000

pieces and stuff them in her purse.

And if it would've been there,

I swear that's what I would've done!

I wouldn't let you.

Make love to me.

- What?

- Make love to me.

Watch me.

The bird man dies tonight.

Salad, Ronald.

Mother.

Can I have the gravy too, please?

- Salt.

- Can I have the cabbage, Daddy?

- You're gonna get fat.

- Am not.

No. No more for me, thank you.

He eats like a bird. What do you want?

But the season was up and down.

By the time the first snow

had covered the turf,

there was dribbling

and the cry, "Up and in."

Well, good night, Brenda.

- Good night, Neil.

- See you in the morning.

Now we're ready

for the Minnesota game...

- Hi.

- Oh, hi.

There'll be a hand of appreciation

from the crowd...

- Well, I had my first day at work today.

- Oh? How was it?

OK, I guess. I was a little...

And here comes Ron Patimkin

dribbling out.

Ron, number 11,

from Purchase, New York.

What a great season he's had.

For big Ron, it's his last game,

and it'll be some time

before Buckeye fans forget him.

- Number seven.

- Here comes Larry Gardner.

Big number seven out onto the floor.

Would you like to come to my room

and listen to records?

Not right now, Ron. I'm a little tired.

Thank you, though.

Your mother's trying to sleep. It's a

workday tomorrow. Go to bed already.

Who do you like better,

Mantovani or Kostelanetz?

I don't know. I like them both.

Me too. That's all I play.

- Well, good night.

- Good night.

We offer ourselves to you, then,

world, and come at you...

... did the television series

many years ago, I think around 1950,

- before he was known at all.

- Thank you and goodbye.

We will miss you in the fall,

in the winter, in the spring,

but someday, we shall return.

Till then, goodbye, Ohio State.

Goodbye, red and white.

Goodbye, Columbus.

Goodbye, Columbus, goodbye.

What are you thinking?

I don't know.

About me?

No.

- Your father.

- What about him?

I like him.

Has he asked you yet

if you wanna go into business?

Why? Did he say something

to you about it?

No, but he will.

Every single boy I go out with.

Nice to be in such

a nonexclusive club.

Listen, he means well.

We don't have time.

Oh, hey, say. Now, listen,

where'd you get the funny knuckles?

- What's funny about my knuckles?

- I know a doctor who could fix them.

- Morning, Mr. Patimkin.

- Good morning.

No, I cannot!

I've only got a million things to do.

The man from the liquor store

hasn't answered back.

I have to get down to the florist

sometime today

to make a decision

about the centerpieces.

How can I ask Brenda?

She went to New York

to buy a dress for the wedding.

Wait a minute, I'll ask Neil.

Neil, Brenda's friend.

Neil!

I'll call you back later.

Neil, darling.

Could I ask you to do me a favor?

Mr. Patimkin has some

silver patterns he wants me to look at.

Would you drive down to the store

and pick them up for me?

Let's get the truck loaded.

You get paid by the hour,

so let's get them in the truck already.

Come on!

- Hey.

- Ron, how are you?

- Where's your father?

- He's right inside.

All right, let's keep working. Get those

things loaded. We don't have all day.

What are you talking about?

I got them... Wait.

In a minute, I'll have them.

No. There it is.

Yeah, the ledgeback, number 945.

What do you mean, they don't

make it? I had six last week!

Grossman, I'm telling you I had them,

and I know they're still making them.

Yeah. Sit.

Yeah.

Tomorrow?

What do you mean, tomorrow?

Don't give me that tomorrow business.

The world could blow up tomorrow.

Grossman, you listen to me.

Crap!

You're not the only one in town,

my good friend.

Yeah. That's more like it.

Fine.

Yeah, we'll be here till 5, no later.

My kid will be here. Yeah, I brought

him into the business with me.

All right, Marty. Bye-bye.

- Hey, Dad.

- Did you send them out to lunch?

I thought I'd send some now

and some later.

- Why?

- That way, somebody's always here.

No fancy deals here.

We all go out to lunch the same time.

All right.

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