Goodbye, Mr. Chips Page #4

to take the decision should he wish.

(Knock at door)

(Chipping clears throat)

(Laughter)

- Soup is the most natural food.

- Oh, Max!

I believe it. It returns us

to the point whence we sprang.

- Mr Darwin says...

- Not him again.

Mr Darwin says we all rose

from a kind of primitive soup,

with all the ingredients

that make Man what he is.

- Not too much salt, I trust?

- (Laughter)

Mrs Chipping, I hope you did not

encounter Mr Darwin's soup

in your education,

which I gather was a private one?

Two governesses, Headmaster.

- Miss Flint and Miss Steel.

- Most promising names.

Thank you.

As for...school life,

I find some of it

quite surprising, Headmaster.

Oh?

My husband and I...

we loathe bullying.

(Humming, gently)

Some theorists suggest

that a great school like this

should mirror the world

the boys will encounter outside.

But...bullying is uncivilised

is it not, Headmaster?

Mrs Chipping, I find the idea

of private education intriguing.

Your governesses, were they

generalists teaching all subjects

or did they specialise?

Headmaster, forgive me,

I saw poor Rushton.

I saw him this afternoon.

Rushton? Enlighten me.

He had been most horribly bullied.

A great school like Brookfield

needs a number of hierarchies,

it helps keep order.

It's why we have prefects.

Max, he was in a dreadful state

and all because his bullies

found him weeping.

Rushton's mother had just died

and the poor boy

was being bullied for grieving.

That is unconscionable.

- Do we know the culprit?

- Wallingford, Headmaster.

I trust you caned him,

and jolly severely.

- No, Headmaster.

- Why ever not?!

It...hasn't worked in the past,

not with Wallingford, anyway.

Nor anyone else, really.

I feel he must be

a deeply unhappy child.

No, Wallingford has behaved

appallingly since he came here.

If you can't punish him,

Chipping, I can.

Headmaster, may I suggest

this is the wrong action?

- The point is...

- There must be

some means of...well,

altering Wallingford's behaviour?

I do think, Mrs Chipping,

that the running of the school

ought to be undertaken

by the teaching staff.

Headmaster, do you know the fable

of the Sun and the North Wind?

The Sun and North Wind were arguing

as to who had

the greatest powers.

"Observe that man,"

said the North Wind,

"I shall blow his coat

from his shoulders."

So the North Wind blew

but the man simply wrapped his coat

even tighter round his shoulders.

And then the Sun, gently, said,

"You've had your opportunity,

"please, allow me."

And the Sun shone,

warmer and warmer...

and the man took off his coat.

(All) Good night!

(Door closes)

Oh, Chips, have I ruined everything?

Oh, now, none of that,

of course you haven't.

I had something so good to tell you.

What?

You're going to become...

something else.

Something new.

Oh, well...what more do I want to be?

I'm a Latin teacher and a husband...

Think.

- No!

- (Laughs)

- Really?

- Mm-hm.

- Are you certain?

- Mm-hm.

Oh, my word!

(Laughing)

Oh, well done!

- Good morning, Mrs Chipping.

- Good morning.

- Wallingford?

- Good morning, Mrs Chipping.

Could I have a word with you?

(Kathie) It's ready!

Would you take some of this

round to Chips?

(Wallingford) Like this?

(Chipping) That's it. Very good.

Why, thank you.

- Let me give you a hand.

- Thanks.

Gentlemen, I shan't

keep you a moment.

Er, Mrs Chipping has proposed

that we invite some...girls

from Meadowland Academy

er, for a social evening.

I find the idea

rather progressive for my taste

- but perhaps it has aspects...

- Headmaster...

I don't want to stand in the way of

progress but this is a boys' school.

And furthermore,

the school is run by teachers...

- under your guidance.

- (Teachers muttering)

Headmaster, in France,

boys at a school like this

are encouraged towards social skills.

They're even taught to dance.

Well, happily we are not in France.

- (Kathie) One, two, three, four.

- (# A Wandering Minstrel)

And turn -

imagine Jonathan's a young lady.

- Chips, will you help demonstrate?

- By all means.

Always turn inwards,

in towards your partner.

Madam.

Thank you, Max.

- (# A Wandering Minstrel)

- Chins up!

One, two, three, four, turn in.

Now, remember,

you are young gentlemen.

You must uphold

the reputation of this house.

- (Giggles)

- Miss Robbins.

Good evening.

Come along, girls!

(Staefel) # ..by the river

a little tom-tit

# Sang, "Willow,

titwillow, titwillow"

# And I said to him,

"Dicky-bird..." #

(Burnley) Chips, I think I know what

you and your lady wife are up to.

(Chipping) Up to?

(Burnley) Yes.

You want to get everyone married,

just like yourselves.

Well, not me, old chap.

Not me. (Laughs)

Do you know Miss Robbins

from Meadowlands?

This is our Mr Burnley of Geography.

Excuse me.

- Miss Robbins, how do you do?

- Delighted.

# "..in your little inside?"

# With a shake

of his poor little head

# He replied,

# "Oh, willow, titwillow,

# "Titwillow!"

(Applause)

Boys! Boys, return to

your dormitory at once!

Mr Metcalf, do you dance?

Dance? Mrs Chipping...

# A wandering minstrel I

# A thing of shreds and patches

# Of ballads, songs and snatches

# And dreamy lullaby... #

Headmaster, Mrs Wetherby, welcome.

This seems to have been

most successful, Chipping.

Well, everyone seems

to be enjoying themselves.

Wallingford!

Thank you. Good man.

# I tune my supple song... #

Mrs Chipping.

I'm also called Kathie.

Kathie...Mrs Chipping, I feel I...

I feel I do owe you an apology.

No apology is needed

when you dance so beautifully.

Chipping, a word.

# On maiden's coldness do you brood?

# I'll do so, too... #

Now, look here, Chipping,

I'm making some changes.

I want you to run Wellington House -

with Mrs Chipping, of course.

An essential cog

in the Brookfield machine now.

- Thank you, Headmaster.

- My congratulations, Mrs Chipping.

The Sun again has triumphed

over the North Wind.

Oh, thank you, Headmaster.

And you'll find Wellington House

very special.

Wellington? Oh, Chips!

Yes!

- Miss Johnson.

- Thank you, Headmaster,

for allowing us the pleasure

of meeting such well-mannered boys.

The Headmaster has charged us

with Wellington House!

Congratulations, Chips!

Congratulations, Kathie!

You will also observe how Latin

informs you in other disciplines.

For example, who has not yet heard of

the geometry theorem

we call Pons Asinorum -

"the bridge...of donkeys"?

We call it this...because it is...

a bridge of learning

at which so many donkeys falter.

Second door on the left, please.

Would you both like tea?

(Boys) Yes, please, ma'am.

- Oh, my dear, let me...

- I'm all right.

I had no idea you had so many books.

You gave me that one.

We could call him Albert.

Yes, or Victoria.

- Or Edward.

- Or Edwina.

(Kathie) Alice!

(Chipping) I rather like Leopold.

(Both laugh)

(Kathie) We shall be fine.

Don't worry,

I'll tell you the good news.

Yes. Thank you. Thank you, Doctor.

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