Goon Page #3

You have little puss-puss?

- Mommy whipped up p*ssy papaye?

- Let's see what's going on there.

- Show us your dick.

- I don't want you to see my dick.

- Why are you being gay?

- I think you're being pretty gay.

- It's not gay.

- Not if you're brothers.

If you're brothers it's gay

with a dash or something else.

My brother's gay

and he doesn't even do that.

- I never signed no-one's dick.

- I'll sign your dick, Doug.

No, come on. You'll f*** the carpet.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I can take my shoes off.

No, no, it's fine. Who gives a f***?

Thanks.

Excuse me.

Hey!

- Come on, sit.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Thanks.

That's cool.

- Pot?

- No.

Thank you so much for asking me.

Beer and soup, that's my thing.

You're a crazy motherf***er.

Tabarnak! Bam!

You f***ing beat him.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

- Why did you do that?

- What do you mean?

Why do you help and protect these

guys? You don't even know them.

Coach puts me out there to fight.

That's my job.

I like standing up for my team,

you know? Taking care...

"Team"?

You just wait. Wait one month

then tell me if you feel the same.

I don't think so. The f***ing team?!

- What are those?

- Ever jerked off on Ecstasy?

- I'm sorry?

- Bonne nuit.

Bonne nuit.

Come on boys, let's go.

Now, breathe in the fresh air.

Come on. You're men! Men!

So the penalty winding down

in front of a good crowd here

at this game between the Lovell

Kings and Halifax Highlanders.

- Come on, Dougie.

- Steve-O, go after Doug.

I got it. Coach, I've got it.

Two on one. Doug, come on.

No, no, Steve-O, get back.

He's got his hand up.

There's too many men on the ice.

Here come the Kings. He's way down

the front. They score!

Jesus

and the donkey motherfucking...

Get off the ice, Glatt. Why are you

on the f***ing ice, man?

I've heard this song before,

in fact from my wedding night.

Our bashful bride Glatt

can't wear white anymore.

You know why there was too many

men on the ice? Cos you stayed on.

- Stay there till I tell you to move.

- Idiot.

Unbelievable, Glatt. Nice work,

rookie. Come on! Let's go!

F***!

That is the closest we have come

to winning a f***ing hockey game

in over a month and you f***ed us.

You f***ed us.

You're not here to play.

You're here to fight.

Hey, pretty boy,

you find that funny?

Funny ha-ha, like flushing a $5 million

contract up your nose funny?

Or funny peculiar, like Doug there?

You get your sh*t together.

Your sh*t stinks, Pepe Le Pew.

It f***ing stinks.

After his 20-game suspension,

Ross Rhea was sent down to Boston

affiliate St. John's Shamrocks,

the same team where he started

his career,

a career that may be coming to a close.

This is where I started.

This is where I'm from.

It's as good as place as any for

me to end up.

Rhea sat out 12 games

after his infamous head shot

on Xavier Laflamme 3 years ago

The league is sending a message that it

will not tolerate this behaviour.

Yeah, I know. You're breaking up.

No, we're not breaking up.

You're breaking up. I can't hear...

# Lady...

- # Who are you...?

- It's still sh*t.

You sound like a f***ing cyborg.

Howard, you're in China.

No, I'm sorry...

I said, "We'll talk tomorrow."

Me, too.

F***, I need a drink.

Eva? Hey, Eva baby.

Are you on a date with this loser?

Mind if I cut in with my beautiful doll?

Oh, f***! What the f***?

Moron.

You could use this like a towel

and dry off.

It's made from the same material

they make snowshoes out of.

Oh, damn, I'm wasted.

- Eva, I really like your name.

- Yes, sir. It's a great name.

Like the Bible, just with a bit more

kinda mustard on it.

I think it's a pretty name.

Like your face. You got a pretty name

and a pretty face.

Ah. You're very nice to me.

F*** it.

- Doug.

- Uh-huh?

I dig hockey players. The sh*t,

the violence, the beer, all of it.

I f***ing love it.

Sad.

- Want to get ou of here?

- Yes, please.

Let's rally.

You're so pretty.

You're so beautiful.

I'm sorry. It's... I keep saying that.

I'm sorry.

It's fine. I think it's cute.

Who doesn't like being told

they're beautiful?

Mm. This is me.

Okay.

- I like you, though.

- You do, eh?

Yes, ma'am.

Eva likes Doug.

Eva likes you.

What does Eva think about kissing?

- Which type?

- French?

Oh, f***.

Erm, hey.

What do you think about

me calling you some time?

I don't know whether

that's the best idea, this sh*t.

Why don't you give me your number

and I promise that I'll never call you.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Okay.

Perfect.

I love that!

- Bye, Doug.

- Bye, Eva.

I'm going to watch you walk up

the stairs, make sure you're safe.

- Safe.

- Good night.

Good night.

All right, boys, listen up.

We're still in this thing.

- We just need a quick one

- Listen up, Cash.

We work harder than them.

- Get harder than them.

- You know what's hard work?

Going through a divorce.

She wants all my money now.

She can have half. I don't care.

The other half, hard work, mine.

Some of their team are divorced.

Three guys' marriages are in

the f***ing toilet.

- They're divorced guys.

- Yeah.

- We've gotta be triceps, biceps, hard...

- Hard.

Greek f***ing underground

gay porn hard.

- You're all Adonises.

- Highlanders, gay porn hard!

Gay porn hard!

The puck goes back to Emerson,

moves across, finds Jones.

Jones now flips it up the right side.

Stevenson. Here's Mason.

- He scored!

- Nobody wants to play?

Nobody wants to play?

Glatt.

I'm sorry. Okay, Siegfried, let's go, Roy.

Eye of the f***ing tiger.

Ogilvey wins the faceoff.

Hits it back into his own zone.

Now circling in the neutral zone,

looking for room.

For f***'s sake.

Stop staring at me.

- You're weirding me out.

- I'm sorry, sir.

- Here's Laflamme trying to squeeze...

- You f***ing diver!

- Come on!

- Come on!

That better be four minutes, Ref.

Hey, Glatt. You little f***ing dickweed.

You try any of that sh*t

you did against Hamilton on me,

- I'll light your f***ing ass up.

- I'll light your ass back up on fire.

Time to make up for your mistake.

Look at the penalty clock.

When I say, you get over there

and stand and wait for that ugly mother.

- Yes, sir.

- Do exactly what I say.

- Yes, sir, of course.

- Exactly what I say, nothing else.

windsor moves the puck out of their

zone. Penalties winding down.

York knocks it out in the air.

And now it comes off the back wood.

Kim, get off, get off.

Go, go, go, go! Skate!

Go, Glatt, don't deviate.

Exactly like I said.

- You want a piece of me? Eat it up.

- Hi.

You f***ing p*ssy.

I am going to f*** you up, Glatt.

F*** you! You wanna take me,

you motherf***er?

- B*tch!

- What are you doing?

F***ing hit him!

Okay, keep moving.

Keep moving. Say goodbye.

Keep it moving.

But I just miss you.

I really miss you both.

Please don't give up on me.

Oh, f*** me.

- Hello?

- Eva?

Hey! This is Doug.

Glatt. Your number is so similar

to my friend's number.

I didn't know which was which

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