Great American Chase, The Page #3

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to the Coachella Valley

and the big carrot festival, therein?

What's up, doc?

Stop steaming up my tail!

What are you trying to do, wrinkle it?

Let's see, now. Coachella Valley.

Then to Las Vegas, San Bernadino...

Of course, you realize this means war.

Me public.

What a gulli-bull.

What a nim-cow-poop.

Pardon me, Mac.

Okay, Toro,

whenever you can spare the time.

Booby trap.

What an imbecile.

What an ultra-maroon.

Traveling alone can be boring.

Personally, I prefer to travel

with some foxy little rabbit chick.

Like Sophia here.

But...

I often found myself traveling

with that selfsame courteous...

even-tempered, unselfish, pushy,

self-serving, conceited...

self-made favorite of everyone

including himself...

Daffy Duck.

Close sesame.

Guard well this treasure, O Hasaan.

Or the jackal shall grow fat on thy carcass.

No one shall pass Hasaan.

Open.

Open sarsaparilla?

Open Saskatchewan?

Here we are.

Pismo Beach and all the clams we can eat!

What a way for a duck to travel.

Underground.

Wait a minute.

Since when is Pismo Beach inside a cave?

I wonder...

You know, I just bet we should have

turned left at Albuquerque.

Then maybe a right turn at La Jolla.

We can't be too far off.

- So, if we...

- It's mine, you understand?

Mine! All mine! Get back in there!

Down! Go! Mine!

What's up, duck?

I'm rich! I'm wealthy!

I'm comfortably well-off.

Open septuagenarian?

Open saddle soap?

Open sesame?

I'm in the money

La ta, the money

Ah! Redcap.

Call me a cab, boy, and be quick about it.

I'm a heavy tipper.

Quick! Save me, pal. And it's yours!

Gorgeous, isn't it? Don't be afraid.

Have it appraised anyplace.

- Proud punk.

- Hasaan chop!

Yeah? Chop the rabbit.

He brought us here.

Me genie, the light-brown hare.

O mighty genie!

Release me,

and I shall grant thee a rich reward.

He's lying! Chop him!

Hasaan release you, O Master!

Thank you, Hasaan.

Now, woulds't thou like to have...

all this treasure for thy very own?

Yes, Master. Hasaan like!

Very well.

It's yours.

I don't know. I have a feeling

that Pismo Beach ain't quite this wide.

Help! Help, save me, pal!

Save me! Help!

Hasaan chop!

- Help!

- Okay, Daff, back here.

- What's with you, anyway?

- I can't help it. I'm a greedy slob.

It's my hobby. Save me!

Hasaan chop!

Him go that-a-way.

- Is he gone?

- Yeah. I got rid of him.

Boy! I'm rich!

I'm wealthy! I'm independent!

I'm socially secure! I'm rich!

There. I think that's the last of it.

Just a quick check

to see if I missed anything.

What's this?

Polished up, it might bring

another quick four bits...

on the open market.

I am the genie of the lamp, O Master.

No, you don't! You want my treasure!

It's mine, understand?

All mine! Down! Go! Mine!

Duck, you have desecrated

the spirit of the lamp.

Prepare to take the consequences.

Consequences, schmonsequences.

As long as I'm rich.

I wonder how that crazy duck

ever made out with that genie?

What do you know? A pearl!

It's mine, you understand? Mine! All mine!

Go! Mine, do you hear me? Out! Mine!

Oh, brother! Close sesame.

I'm rich. I'm a happy miser.

I sometimes get the feeling

that the entire population of the world...

is made up of people who want to

shoot, fry, dice...

or parboil rabbits and/ or ducks.

For instance, old Elmer Fudd...

who, like so many

other brave sportsmen...

never seems really happy

unless he's protecting innocent citizens...

by shooting dangerous forest animals.

Like rabbits and ducks.

Be very, very quiet. I'm hunting rabbits.

Boy! Rabbit tracks!

Bugsy. Bugsy, pal.

There's a friend here to see ya.

Survival of the fittest.

And besides, it's fun.

Did someone knock?

What's up, doc?

Now I got you, you rabbit!

Say, doc, are you trying

to get yourself in trouble with the law?

- This ain't rabbit hunting season.

- It's not?

No. It's duck hunting season.

That, sir, is an inmitigated frabrication.

It's rabbit season!

- Duck season!

- Rabbit season!

- Rabbit season!

- Duck season!

- Rabbit season!

- I say it's duck season, and I say fire!

- Let's try that again.

- Okay.

- I'll start it this time.

- Right.

- Rabbit season!

- Duck season.

- Rabbit season!

- Rabbit season.

Duck season! Fire!

Okay, this time you start it.

Whatever you say.

- Rabbit.

- Duck! Fire!

What's the matter?

Everything's upside down.

Strange. Can't make heads or tails

of things.

Hey you! Come back here.

What do you know? No more bullets.

No more bullets?

Laughing boy, no more bullets.

No more bullets?

Here, let me see that thing.

What do you know? One bullet left.

One bullet left?

- Laughing boy, there was...

- I know, I know!

Devilishly clever.

What's up, doc?

Having any luck with those ducks?

It's duck season, you know?

Just a darn minute.

Where do you get that duck season stuff?

Says so right over there on that sign.

You're so smart.

You know what to do with that gun, doc.

You're despicable.

Yes, you're despicable and pickable...

and you're very definitely despicable!

How a person can get so despicable

in one lifetime is beyond me.

It isn't as though

I haven't met a lot of people.

Goodness knows it isn't that!

It isn't that... That...

Goodness knows it isn't... It's...

despicable.

"Filet of duck bordelaise maitre d' butter."

Yum, yum.

"Duck polonaise under glass."

"Rabbit au gratin de gelatin

under tooled leather."

Drool, drool.

"Barbecued duck meat

with broiled duckbill milanese."

Yummy yum.

"Chicken-fried rabbit

with cottontail sauce braised in carrots."

I'm sorry fellows, but I'm a vegetarian.

I just hunt for the sport of it.

Yeah?

There's other sports besides hunting,

you know?

Anyone for tennis?

Nice game.

Now you screwy rabbit, you're next.

All right, come out or I'll blast you out.

For shame, doc.

Hunting rabbits with an elephant gun.

- Elephant gun?

- That's right, doc.

So why don't you go

shoot yourself an elephant?

You do and I'll give you such a pinch!

Just wait till I get that screwy rabbit

and that screwball duck.

What's the big idea?

Why don't you look where you...

How simply dreadful.

You poor little man.

Did I hurt you with my naughty gun?

Shucks. Well, I...

Gypsy, you naughty bow-wow. Stop that.

Okay, rabbit, I see through that disguise.

Say your prayers.

You, too, duck.

- Rabbit season.

- Duck season.

- Rabbit season!

- Duck season!

Be very, very quiet. We're hunting Elmers.

Now here is a gentleman who knows

what chasing is all about.

He lives in France where

all good Americans go when they die.

And in France...

the onliest reason

for chasing anybody is for love.

Sacr maroon! Le help!

Assistansions! Gendarme!

Pouf, Jos. Gendarme can le fix.

Thank you, le gendarme.

Merci beaucoup, le thanks.

Sacr cerise!

Le pew!

Quelle terrible odeur!

Un smell-e-vous fine.

I am the bankrupt!

Le mew. Le purr.

Le p*ssy ferocious.

Remove that skunk.

That polecat pole from the premises.

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