Great American Chase, The Page #4

---

A vec!

Quelle est-ce?

Le belle femme skunk fatale.

My little darling.

It is love at first sight, is it not?

No?

Do not come with me to the casbah.

We shall make beautiful music

together right here.

This little love bordel.

Now she is seeking for us a trysting place.

Touching, is it not?

Come, my little peanut of brittle.

I will help you.

Wait for me. Wait.

Where are you, pigeon?

I am looking for you.

I am going... Huh?

I missed, fortunately for you.

So now, mon cherie,

we can begin life anew.

C'est la guerre.

Hello, baby.

I am the locksmith of love, no?

Come, darling. We must be grown up

about this thing.

Do not run away from the love.

Here. What is this?

But of course.

This little one wish to commit suicide

to prove her love for me.

What a sweet gesture.

Nevertheless, I must prevent it.

Saved!

Vive I'amour! We die together.

I am not dead? No.

What's this? Is that you, pigeon?

Is that...

Pardon grand mama, but have you seen

a beautiful young lady skunk?

Where are you, pigeon?

I am looking somewhere to find you.

Rabbit, where are you?

Perhaps you have returned in here.

Are you here then, golden girl?

Who is this?

It is you again.

What can I do to help you?

Why do you lock the...

Oh, no!

Control yourself, madam.

You cannot be in earnest.

A joke, yes?

No?

You know, it is possible

to be too attractive.

Do you know what that was?

The Minute Waltz played in 30 seconds.

New world record.

There are people who just

don't like music, as I found out one day.

On a rainy night in Rio

A-rink a-dink a-dink

What do they do

when there is no starry sky

Oh, starry sky

Where do they go

when they can't go for a walk?

Do they stay home and talk

Or do they sit inside

What do they do in Mississippi

When skies are drippy

And what do they do in Tijuana

When they wanna snuggle tight

Well...

Music-hater.

She's a fancy stepper when she dances

Go and see her as she capers and prances

My gal don't do much talking

Dances even when she's walking

One and two and three and four

She dances all day long

My gal is a highborn stepper

Ginger with salt and pepper

She's a fancy stepper when she dances

Go and see her as she capers and prances

What's up, doc?

Also a rabbit hater.

Of course, you know, this means war.

- Leopold.

- Leopold.

- Leopold.

- Leopold.

Leopold!

Leopold.

You either hate opera or you love it.

I love it.

I loved it so much,

I took the entire 18 hours...

of Richard Wagner's Ring of Nibelung...

and squashed it down to seven minutes.

Be very quiet

I'm hunting rabbits

Rabbit tracks.

Kill the rabbit

Kill the rabbit

Kill the rabbit?

Yohoto

Yohoto

Yohoto

Yoho

Oh, mighty warrior of great fighting stock

Might I inquire to ask

What's up, doc?

I'm going to kill the rabbit

Oh, mighty hunter

it will be quite a task

How will you do it

might I inquire to ask?

I will do it

with my spear and magic helmet

Your spear and magic helmet?

- Spear and magic helmet

- Magic helmet?

Magic helmet

Magic helmet.

Yes. Magic helmet

And I'll give you a sample

Bye.

That was the rabbit.

Brunhilde

You're so lovely

Yes, I know it

I can't help it

Brunhilde

Be my love

Return my love

A longing burns deep inside me

Return my love

I want you always beside me

Love like ours must be

Made for you and for me

Return

Won't you return, my love?

For my love is yours

I'll kill the rabbit!

Arise, storm!

North winds blow! South winds blow!

Typhoons! Hurricanes! Earthquakes!

Smog!

White lightning, strike the rabbit!

What have I done?

I've killed the rabbit

Poor little bunny

Poor little rabbit

What did you expect in an opera,

a happy ending?

I will say this for Elmer.

He really doesn't want us for food.

He just does it 'cause he's a sportsman.

That's different than some people who

go hunting because they're really hungry...

like a coyote for instance,

who will eat anything...

including me.

What's up, doc?

Allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Wile E. Coyote, Genius.

I'm not selling anything

nor am I working my way through college.

So let's get down to cases.

You are a rabbit

and I am going to eat you for supper.

Now, don't try to get away.

I am more muscular, more cunning,

faster and larger than you are...

and I'm a genius...

while you could hardly pass the

entrance examinations to kindergarten.

So, I'll give you the customary

two minutes to say your prayers.

I'm sorry, Mac. The lady

of the house ain't home and besides...

we mailed you people a check last week.

Why do they always want

to do it the hard way?

Wile E., you genius.

You've done it again.

- What's cooking, doc?

- Rabbit stew.

I'm such a genius!

Smells mighty good!

But there's only one little thing wrong

with it.

- There is? What?

- No rabbit.

I'm looking over a three-leaf clover

That I overlooked be three

Back to the old drawing board.

Genius, that's what it is! Sheer genius!

Wile E. Coyote. Super genius.

I like the way that rolls out.

Wile E. Coyote. Super genius.

Wile E. Coyote.

Super genius.

Allow me to introduce myself.

My name is Mud.

And remember,

mud spelled backwards is "dum."

Even a genius gets

the message after a while...

and realizes that eating rabbit...

cooked or raw isn't such a smart idea.

Raw rabbit? What a revolting idea.

So old Wile E. decided that he'd

better pursue something more his size.

For instance...

How's that for a big production?

I'll bet even old Cecil B. De Mille

would be jealous of that one.

I'm sure old Neanderthal person

never envisaged anything like that...

when he started that very first chase.

But then if he hadn't invented the chase...

maybe, just maybe, laughter wouldn't

have been invented either...

and that, old buddies,

would have been a real loss.

Who knows?

Maybe, just maybe the whole universe

will get the idea...

and stars and suns, meteors and comets...

even galaxies will realize

how necessary laughter is...

and how much fun chases are.

And...

And finally, all will once again

be peaceful and quiet.

Or will it?

Yes?

Well?

After all, credits where credit is due.

Eat your heart out, Burt Reynolds.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes