Green Card Page #4

are so low. We're desperate for plants.

Uh, well, wait a minute.

There's a problem.

Mother won't hear of it.

But I don't know.

I think if you talked to her,

maybe she'd change her mind.

Georges.

- No.

- Yeah.

Bront, you didn't eat anything.

- It's not my kind of food.

- She likes birdseed.

It's just not healthy,

all that butter.

What's the point of life

if you don't enjoy yourself? Hmm?

Do you mind?

You're like an old married couple.

Okay.

So how did you two meet?

Well, you know, Lauren,

I was, uh, carrying a lot of parcels...

Lauren, it's a long story.

Can I tell you later?

- I've got lots of work I need to do,

cataloging plants.

- I can take a hint.

- No. Oh, finish your wine. It's...

- Oh.

A little bit more. Okay?

- Nice to have met you, Georges.

- Nice to meet you, Lauren.

Nice... Eh, I see you again. Huh?

- He's gorgeous.

- Lauren, look, I...

I can say this now.

I did not like Phil.

Oh, so earnest, my God!

Phil and I are still

very much together.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm so embarrassed.

I mean, I like Phil. He's very concerned

about the environment and all that.

- Yes, he is.

- Oh, typical me, putting my foot in it.

- Forget it.

- Well, in that case...

I wouldn't mind

seeing Georges again myself.

He's dishy.

Gardeners are so weird.

- Bye, Lauren.

- Ciao.

Why did you ask her

to stay for lunch?

This is my apartment.

This is not gonna work.

No, it won't work if I don't know

everything about you.

That silly story about the parcels!

Your mother, the elephants, lying

to my friends. It's all so horrible.

And I know you've got a cigarette,

so you can smoke it outside!

You begin the lie when you married.

I didn't make you lie.

- Well, I didn't ask her to lunch.

- You always blame me. You did it too.

- Did what?

- Married me!

I did it for the green card.

Why did you do it?

- No one made you! No one!

- Outside! Outside!

If you push me to be a beast,

I can be a beast, so take care!

Now look what you've done,

you silly French oaf!

Oh.

- Hello?

- Hey, it's me. I just wanted

to thank you for lunch.

And that greenhouse!

I'm so jealous!

Oh, Lauren, I'm so sorry

about lying to you.

- Lying to me?

What are you talking about?

- I mean, not telling you...

y-y-you know,

not having you over here before.

- You're my oldest friend.

- Oh, please, forget it, B.

Oh, I haven't been myself lately.

You're right about that.

Things are complicated right now.

You know, Mother's having

this dinner party tonight.

Well, I just spoke to her,

and she's invited you.

Great chance for you

to work on her about the trees.

You could bring Georges.

What are you doing in here?

I went and, uh, I bought

some beautiful tomatoes for you.

Look, that's sweet, but...

And outside... Come on.

Come outside.

- And look here. We have radishes,

peppers, carrots.

- Oh, no, my plants!

- Just weeds. I pull... I pulled them out.

- No, this is my research!

- Oh, I'm sorry. I bought this for you.

- Just don't touch anything, okay?

- Okay, okay.

- And don't go in the greenhouse

any more. That's all I ask.

It's my special place. Oh.

- You like your plants

better than people.

- Some people.

Oh, God.

Look. Truce, okay?

I don't make the war.

You asked me before why I did it...

the marriage.

- Well, it was for the greenhouse.

- Greenhouse?

I don't expect you to understand,

but that's why I did it.

Oh, I understand.

You want something, you take it. Hmm?

We work tonight?

Study, just like school?

- I have to go out.

- Then I'll come too.

- No.

- Why?

- Ah, your boyfriend, the vegetarian.

- No, he's away.

- So!

- No, it's Lauren's parents' place.

- Snob types, you'd call them.

- Oh. I will embarrass you, huh?

- No.

- Yes, too much oaf!

- No.

S... The Adlers are thinking about giving

some trees to a gardening group I'm in.

- What's that?

- Oh, it's... it's just a gardening group.

We go into poor areas,

like the Lower East Side, and...

I came from that life.

You waste your time.

- What?

- Yeah. Nothing will change down there.

It will always be that way.

- Better to forget about it.

- Forget about it?

Yeah. Look, the trees are very good.

Yes, sure, sure.

- But you can't eat the trees.

- Well, nothing changes without hope.

- Oh, you think the gardens make hope?

- Well, it's something.

The trees are very good, yes, but go

to the country if you want trees. Huh?

You try telling that to the children.

They live with chaos, despair.

You may think it's nothing

to give them a garden to plant...

or trees to climb,

but at least it's doing something.

- If it amuses you, then do it.

- Amuses me?

Chaos.

Despair.

- I'll take the mud slide.

- Mud slide it is. Okay.

- Yeah!

- Oh, Richard!

Now, little fish, swim!

- Better down.

- What?

Y-Your hair looks better down.

I'll be back by 10:00.

We can work then.

Please don't answer the phone

or let anyone in.

Don't be late. Huh?

- Thanks a lot.

- Grab it!

- Cab! Taxi! Hey!

- Into the garden.

- Thank you.

I woke up maybe six weeks ago...

and I said, "Saul, this is it.

We're leaving."

Bront, how exquisite you look.

- Thank you for asking me

at the last minute.

- No, not at all. Not at all.

It's just so wonderful to see you.

It's been so long.

- And Lauren tells us you've got

a brilliant new apartment.

- Yes. Is she here yet?

My point is, it's not a question

of whether or not it's pornographic.

The question is,

whether or not it qualifies as art.

I mean, pornography is...

But you... I mean, your own daughter!

Have you seen the stuff she does?

Lafayette was on the horse

and got off the horse...

and saluted my ancestor on both cheeks

with a big kiss.

- Did he need to get off the horse?

- Now, it's very stupid...

for these environmentalists

to plant trees...

when they don't know

what they're doing.

They don't listen to me,

needless to say.

Of course,

I'm just your average layman...

but I have written

the appropriate authorities.

Oh, I'll go, Alberto.

That'll be Lauren.

As an artist, our daughter reserves

the right to be late.

Absolutely.

- At last!

- Hi, Mother.

This is Georges Faur from Paris.

- Hi.

- Oh?

Come on in, Georges.

Georges is Bront's house guest,

but she was too shy to bring him.

- You don't mind, do you, Mother?

- But of course not.

- I went to pick up Bront

and found him all alone.

- Do come in.

- Georges is a very important composer,

Mother, so you two

will have lots to talk about.

- Oh, no, no, no.

- Oh!

- No, no.

Mother plays the piano a little.

Get it? A little.

Alberto, another place, if you will.

Everybody, I'd like

to present Georges Faur...

a leading French composer.

- Ah!

- Oh, no, no.

Good evening.

- You see the man

sitting across from you?

- Mm-hmm.

He's very important.

He's on the board of trustees.

Do you live in Paris, Georges?

Bront, he was all by himself.

I really think he wanted to come out.

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