Grilled Page #4

He knows we weren't

doing anything, right?

I mean, he... he... can you please

f***ing put that on?

What are the chances of you

and me just taking a shot?

Maybe none.

None. None?

Why so low?

I don't want

to tell you yet.

Hey, look.

Look look look.

If you got something going on,

then I'll just get out of here.

No no no.

That's not it.

But don't worry

about it right now.

Oh, that's okay.

Hey, don't stop.

Don't stop.

I can't see, I'm not gonna look.

I'm f***ing blind.

Okay, that's a great tune.

Well, I'll tell you. I gotta... I gotta...

I gotta look now, who is here?

Hola, Tony.

Loridonna, Loridonna,

Loridonna, Loridonna, Loridonna.

What an absolute honor.

Don't get up.

Whatever you do,

please, stay as you were.

What's going on?

- He's bleeding. Are you gonna...

- It's typical.

He's got two, three guns

in his pocket.

It's okay.

He's been... that guy's

been shot or something.

It's typical.

Hey, friend, you wanna

give me a hand?

Who? Who, me?

- Yeah, you.

- Me?

Yeah, you.

- Yeah.

- Come on in.

Hey, what's up?

Whoa, that's...

Take that, take that,

take this, this.

- Yeah.

- Put it on.

- Might wanna have this looked at, yeah.

- I'm looking at it.

What happened to you,

get attacked?

Nah, it's a scratch.

It's the other guy who did the dying.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

No, you don't.

It's a nice place you got here.

It's very cool.

Yeah, it's a fun pad.

She's a f***ing knockout,

that Loridonna.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess.

It's hard to believe

she's a guy.

- What do you mean?

- I mean she was a guy.

You can't tell though,

am I right?

Pfft. No way.

That's what I hear.

No f***ing way.

Loridonna.

Did you

used to be a guy?

Huh?

Go on, tell him.

A long time ago.

The magic of life.

You two work it out.

Wow.

Okay, no matter what

he says, just stay calm.

- We didn't do anything. We didn't...

- He's full of sh*t.

We didn't do anything

so we're fine, we're safe.

He's coming.

- Hey, Suze.

- Hey, Tony.

Hiya, hiya.

- Hi.

- Hi.

How you doing?

Oh, God! No!

- Yeah, I got you f***ing my girl.

- Oh my God!

- Swear to God, no! I swear to God, no!

- You f***ing my girl?

- No, I swear, I did nothing!

- Flirting or f***ing, what was it?

- Which one?

- Tony, don't!

- I swear to God, I didn't!

- Oh, God.

Was he f***ing you?

That what you were...

- No.

- Don't. No, please.

It's okay, I'm...

I'm just kidding around.

- I'm just kidding around.

- That was funny.

Who's this guy?

It's Loridonna, okay?

Loridonna's friend.

She brought him

over here.

- Sure. A friend?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Sit like a friend.

- Go on, sit. What was he doing to you?

- Nothing.

What are you doing with

my girl in my house here?

Nothing.

We're just talking.

- Palm reading?

- No.

She spends every f***ing dollar

I give her right here on the palm.

Oh, that's great.

Is that your buddy back in there? In my

compound? Playing with Loridonna?

Yes, Maurice,

my associate,

and l... we know her through... I know her

through Maurice. He's a good guy though.

Oh yeah,

he was fine with me.

Who's Boris?

- Who? I-I don't know.

- Nuh-uh.

I'm asking

the questions.

Boris paying you?

I don't know a Boris.

If you think I do,

I've given you

the wrong impression.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

So what do you do?

What's your line of work?

What do you do?

Ahem, well, I'm a...

I'm a counselor.

- Oh.

- Uh-huh.

But my real passion

is beef, prime beef.

What? Are you kidding?

You have two jobs?

That's like better than having one job.

That's so great.

Hey.

Bark bark.

- Tony, not in public.

- Bark bark.

- Come on. God!

- Bark.

- You're a cattle man?

- Yeah. Dave Langer, hi.

- Oh, hey, Dave, how you doing?

- Nice to see you.

How many head you got?

Or is it all corporations now?

F***ing corpy bastards.

Yeah, more and more it is, but we're

more involved with the gourmet end

for folks who like

the finer cuts of beef.

Uh, the... the real good

dry-aged stuff.

But if you age your veal,

Dave, is it still a veal?

'Cause it's like

gotta grow up sometime,

and then

what does it become?

It's kind of like

child actors,

you know how they never

grow up, they're always...

You shut up.

- What?

- Just shut up.

So, is your stuff

the really good stuff?

'Cause the Japanese stuff

is really excellent.

You know what they do to keep

their beef extra soft?

'Cause I read that they...

they pound on 'em with their fists.

He's gotta pound the cow. They... they

pound it. They pound the cow.

Right, that's Kobe beef.

So you're a steak man,

medium rare.

- Rare. You?

- Rare, yeah yeah.

- Me too, same.

- Yeah.

You know, that's how I knew,

'cause I can... I am the same.

- Well, are you hungry?

- I am hungry.

- You want a drink?

- I would love...

Shut the f*** up,

of course you do.

- You want a drink, honey?

- A drink.

You want a drink?

You want the whole bottle?

Just a drink, please.

Come on, Dave, escape the asylum.

Try not to knock anything over.

Dave, I'll see you later.

Shouldn't do it, shouldn't do it,

but I'm gonna do it.

I hate to cheat, Dave,

see these puppies?

They should marinate

for about another... another day.

It's best just before it rots.

Hold on to that, will you?

See that? Marbling.

You know

what that does?

That's very very desirable. That's a

meatman's best friend right there.

Yeah, this is a lot

like our beef.

- Uh... I'd like to tell you something.

- Out to the 'que, Dave.

You know what, I'd like to see a little

bit more marbling in them myself

- Now we can vary the thickness for you.

- Yeah?

Yeah, we can cut an inch,

inch and a half,

restaurant cut,

whichever you prefer.

Now, Mr. Goldbluth,

he'd love that.

He knows his stuff.

Is he a connoisseur?

Oh, he loves to eat.

He's got food flown in

from all over the world, that guy.

- He got "cav-i-are" from Russia.

- Sure.

He got these little

f***ing figs from like Iran.

He's got these special

cakes from Paris.

- You know, France?

- Oh yeah, right, that's great.

You know, I think a lot of the taste

depends on how good you can cook.

You know, the good thing is we can

help you with that too.

We can provide recipes and we'll take

you along step by step, if you, uh...

I'm gonna let that slide,

what you just said.

Just don't forget

about it.

I give the barbecue

cooking lessons around here.

Oh!

You supply the meat,

I'll do the cooking.

I like

that you liked me.

I miss what we had.

What we had?

What did we have?

Maurice?

Can I kiss you again?

No.

Tell me.

Um...

What?

What's there?

- You want to see?

- No no no no no.

No no, just tell me,

tell me, but wait a minute.

Wait a minute,

don't say anything weird.

But there's

nothing weird.

They just made one thing

into another thing.

They just made my outie

into an innie.

Like a belly button.

- Better.

- Okay.

Okay, I could see

how that could be.

Yeah.

And...

you're happy

with that?

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