Grilled Page #5

Synopsis: In L.A., Maurice and Dave sell steaks - high-end cuts of beef. They've hit a patch of no sales, and they're facing being fired. Maurice needs money to enroll in his final semester of acupuncture school, and the recently-separated Dave needs money for his daughter's birthday gift. Their final client card: a beautiful woman opens the door, and she's attracted to Maurice, but a desperate call from a suicidal friend interrupts her signing the contract. Still hoping to close the sale, Maurice and Dave offer to drive her to the friend's house, and there, troubles multiply. Facing guns, hitmen, and women's secrets, a sale is the farthest thing from their minds. Are they about to be grilled?
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Jason Ensler
Production: New Line Cinema
 
IMDB:
5.2
R
Year:
2006
83 min
91 Views


Ecstatic.

So it's okay.

What?

About the kiss.

Whoa. Check out that color there.

What color is that?

That's light red. It's-it's labeled as

pink, but don't... don't be afraid of it.

I don't see pink anywhere.

That's a light red?

- Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

- That's... that's a very nice color.

- Isn't it pretty?

- They call it light red?

No, they call it pink,

but it's, uh...

it... it looks light red

when you see it.

- Well, let's drink to light red.

- Absolutely.

Listen.

You ever have

a call for firearms?

You ever need anything like that?

Automatic weapons, Uzis, AK-47s, M-16s,

all the way up to rocket launchers,

baby bombers, down the other side.

We deliver anywhere in the world.

No limit. High multiples.

What's your...

position?

Sales.

- No kidding?

- No kidding.

I think I'm, uh, set,

right now.

Maury, we need guns?

Not offhand, no.

No, not really.

I'm gonna show you

something.

- Not offhand?

- Yeah.

- Each to his own. Loridonna. Loridonna.

- Right right.

- Loridonna, Loridonna, Loridonna.

- Yeah, thank you for that.

- Loridonna.

- Thank you.

He's a killer,

and she's a guy.

It's okay.

I'm through. I quit.

Will you stop it?

Let's just close this.

Let me show you guys

a little smoking technique.

- Let her ride.

- A little smoking special technique.

Goldbluth showed it to me.

Slam it down, slam it up.

That's great.

- That's a good move.

- That's super.

- Close what?

- Two boxes, now go get the book.

That is one gourmet

technique right there.

Are you... I don't like this f***ing guy.

Nothing is right here.

Let me tell you something:

He's solid. Now get the book.

Pull yourself together.

That's sweet.

You're giving me

the lessons now, look at this.

Just gonna need

some information.

- From me to you...

- Do you know that one time

he made me sit and watch

this educational film on taxidermy,

and then he asked me... he's like,

"How much do you think it costs

to clean and stuff

a 115-lb. Ape?"

And I'm like, "What?!

That's how much I weigh."

- Oh my God, no.

- Should I get that?

Si?

- Hey.

- Hello.

Shh shh shh shh

shh shh shh shh.

- No noise.

- Don't you f***ing speak.

Here we go, all right.

We are all filled out.

Okay, everything looks great.

We're just gonna need you,

if you would...

just, okay, right here.

Yeah.

- Oops.

- Sh*t.

- Oh, that's okay.

- Right here?

Yeah, that's fine,

just press down harder right there.

- Harder than that?

- It should write.

- It's not working, I'm sorry.

- That's okay.

I'm sorry.

I'm just gonna get a paper towel.

Oh! God!

Jesus!

Son of a b*tch!

How you doing, Tony?

You are a pain in the ass.

F***ing God!

Okay okay.

Go to Goldbluth.

Just go to him, okay?

All those f***ing busted parts,

those 1500 AK-47s,

he knows all about it.

- Oh no, we're gonna see him.

- Blame him. It wasn't me.

- He's next. Don't worry about that.

- Go to him, go to him, okay?

Just go to him, 'cause

he knows all this sh*t, man.

I think it's better to

kill you, you know? Oh...

Ow! God! God damn it!

- You mentioned that!

- What a f***ing day! Ow ow ow!

Come on, you gotta go

to him. Go to him.

- He knows all about it.

- Oh, he's next. Don't worry about it.

No, it's gonna happen while you're still

warm. Don't you worry about it.

But first,

this is from Boris.

Potty mouth.

Oh, God! No!

- Just relax. Relax!

- Hey! Hey hey hey!

Just relax. Sit down.

Just stop screaming.

Hey! Stop it! Be quiet!

Just sit the f*** down!

- Sit down!

- What happened in here?

- What did you do?

- Relax. You know what this is.

- This is this.

- You didn't do it, did you?

Everything is taken care of.

It's done.

- Oh my God!

- Relax. Just relax.

- You're a murderer.

- We're professionals, lady.

- Everything is taken care of.

- A professional?

- What, are you kidding?

- Excuse me?

You were supposed to show up

at 12:
00 outside,

- not in my house, you a**hole.

- Be nice,

- don't get nuts in here.

- It wasn't supposed to go like this!

- Suzy, what did you do?

- He's dead?

Quiet, okay? Don't act like you don't

know what this is.

- I can't believe he's dead.

- Right,

- you can't believe it? Take it easy.

- What did you do?

Don't be so f***ing dramatic,

all right, lady?

- No no, porfavor.

- Lady, be quiet!

Be quiet!

Callate! Callate!

- Be quiet! Callate! Callate!

- No, porfavor!

Don't move, don't move.

Don't move. Drop it.

- What the f***!

- Put the gun down.

- Drop the gun!

- Who the f*** is this?

I'm serious. Tell him to put

the f***ing gun down.

Put it down!

Put it down!

- Put it down!

- Who the f*** are you?!

- Put the gun down!

- F*** you!

Don't you tell me what to do.

Who are you?

Don't move, don't move.

Tell him to put the gun down.

- Just relax.

- No. He has to put it down.

- Tell him to put the f***ing gun down.

- You put it down.

- Just relax.

- Please! I don't wanna do this.

- You gotta put the gun down!

- Put the f***ing gun down!

- You understand me?!

- No. Drop it Drop the gun.

- Just take it f***ing easy.

- I'm counting to two.

No no no, don't count.

Don't start counting.

One...

You too.

- Hand me the gun nice and slow.

- Okay.

Who's this?

Who are you?

You guys are gonna die,

you know that, right?

So enjoy

your moment.

You shut the f*** up!

Jesus Christ.

What did you say,

you fat motherf***er?!

Okay, all right.

All right, Dave!

Let's call the cops.

Call the cops!

Good good.

Go ahead, call the cops.

Okay, you'll become

witnesses against us.

You can spend

the rest of your life living in a hovel.

That's good, go ahead.

Go ahead, Charo. 9-1-1.

Something smells good.

- Do you smell that?

- It's good. What is that?

I don't know, man,

but I'm hungry as all hell.

- It's like beef or something.

- Phone down.

Go sit down.

- Maury, come here. Come here!

- What?

- Get the f*** over here. Come here.

- What?

I'm right here,

I'm right over here.

I see a hole.

- Are you insane?

- You saw it.

- I saw you see it.

- I don't wanna die.

You got something else?

'Cause I've got nothing.

Come on.

You guys like meat?

What?

You mean to eat?

Talking about the best

money can buy.

This is

the gourmet stuff.

Here's how

I wanna do things.

I think you guys

are good guys,

regular guys.

- With a job to do.

- With a job to do.

Not only do we not

have anything against you...

frankly, I gotta

tell you, we admire

- your...

- Professionalism.

So... so they

knocked off Tony, so what?

Tony... he was a prick.

I knew him for 20 minutes,

and he was annoying me.

He's very disrespectful.

If I had any bullets,

I would've shot the f***

out of him myself.

The only thing we owe

to you for that is gratitude.

Big time.

Thank you both.

You're welcome.

Appreciate it.

All right. Well, how are we

gonna do this, then?

I don't know.

- I was thinking that we could...

- No no, please.

- Shut your cakehole, please.

- Christ.

Just keep quiet.

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William Tepper

William Tepper (June 27, 1948 – October 4, 2017)[1] was an American actor and screenwriter. He was best known for his lead role in the 1971 movie, Drive, He Said, which also marked Jack Nicholson's debut as a film director. Tepper and Nicholson traveled to the 1971 Cannes Film Festival for the film's debut. Tepper's other film roles included Breathless in 1983 and a co-starring role in the 1984 Tom Hanks film, Bachelor Party, as well as the 1970s television series, Ironside and Kojak.In addition to acting, Tepper co-produced the 1980 dramatic film, Heart Beat, which starred Nick Nolte and Sissy Spacek. Tepper also produced and wrote the screenplay for the 2006 film, Grilled, starring Ray Romano, Kevin James and Sofia Vergara.William Tepper died of a heart attack on October 4, 2017, at the age of 69. more…

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    "Grilled" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/grilled_9354>.

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