Grumpier Old Men Page #3

Sure. If she craps out

two dimes and a nickel...

then you can start worrying, huh?

Come here.

...personally clean every little corner.

Just look.

Like a mirror.

Miss Ragetti, everything appears

to be up to our standards.

I'm very glad.

Of course, appearances can be deceiving.

We'll see.

What do you think? Now?

Unleash the beast.

You'll wear a hair net

when you're cooking?

Say:
Yes.

Sono tutti ladri! Questi inspector!

Bunch of thieves! These inspectors.

What did she say?

She said:
"Yes, sir, of course."

Ingrazito!

Everything seems to be in order.

Act rabid.

Be rabid.

Good luck to you, schmuck.

What?

It's a rat!

A rat? Here?

Vermin infestation!

I'm writing you up.

Wait, wait, it's a...

Come si chiama...

Ma, ne un topo...

It's not a rat, it's a...

mamma, come si chiama...

It's a guinea pig.

It's a guinea pig.

What are the chances that a guinea

pig would run through here...

... on an inspection day?

Well, lately, I must say that

the chances are pretty good.

Ox.

Nag.

I don't think we've met.

I'm Maria Ragetti.

John Gustafson.

You like ltalian, Mr. Gustafson?

Yeah, I guess so. Why?

E, allora...

Buon appetito!

E, arrivederci, boys.

Shall we ask her for

some garlic bread?

Hit the road, Jack

and don't you come back...

... no more, no more,

no more, no more...

Hit the road, Jack

and don't you come back no more.

What you say?

Hit the road, Jack

and don't you come back...

... no more, no more,

no more, no more...

Hit the road, Jack

and don't you come back no more.

Ma, che succe...

What's goin'...

Se t'acchiappo, t'ammazzo, sai!

When I get you, I kill you.

How could I be so wrong?

You have a gift.

Not one customer all day.

I mean, besides him.

More vino, senorita!

You go.

It's your turn.

I put his bib on.

What's the matter, beautiful?

You're meaner than a dog...

... shitting tacks.

We put everything into this place.

We could've retired in Hawaii.

I have been to Hawaii.

Which island?

Come-on-l-wanna-lay-you.

I find you disgusting.

Just as long as you find me, dear.

You want to join me, Ms. Rrrrragetti?

What the hell.

That a girl.

Ding, dong, the witch is dead.

Here's to us.

And to those like us.

Yeah, there's damn few of us left.

That's a damn good thing.

To Chuck.

May his bait shop never die.

Dean Martin singing

"Innamorata".

Mamma!

Get dressed.

We go to town.

Mamma?

When The Moon

hits your eye...

... like a big pizza pie,

that's amore.

When the world seems to shine

like you had too much wine...

... that's amore.

Bells are ring ting-a-ling-a-ling

and you sing:
Vita bella.

A goddess on a mountain top...

... was burning like

a silver flame...

The summit of beauty and love.

"Praise the Lord."

And Venus was her name.

Holy moly.

Is this seat taken?

Beware.

The devil is a beautiful

lady in a red dress.

Can I get you

something, ma'am?

Yes, please. It's so hot in here.

Maybe some...

... ice water could cool me down.

Yes, ma'am.

I've been thinking...

... it's such a shame we

got off on the wrong foot.

It's a shame.

I'll bet if we give it

another chance, we could...

... become good friends.

Friends?

Or maybe...

... even more than friends.

Go easy. Go easy, baby.

This feels so much better.

So nice.

So cool.

So nice.

How do you feel?

Friendly, friendly.

I wish I could feel like you do...

... but this silly feud of

ours has got me so upset.

What silly feud?

It's a tiny little ristorante.

You will never even know...

... it's there.

Ristorante...

... never!

You are a stubborn man.

Ragetti's will be a very great success!

You shall see!

Not in my lifetime!

Bah...

You evil temptress!

Maria?

Maria Ragetti?

How do you know

who I am?

You do sort of stand

out in a town like this.

I don't usually dress like this.

You look very nice.

I look like...

... a slut.

But a nice slut.

I want to introduce myself.

My name is Ariel Gustafson.

I want to say how sorry I am for what

Max and John are putting you through.

You know how some people have

trouble saying goodbye?

Believe me, it has nothing

to do with you.

Io non capisco, why do you

say such nice things?

You don't even know me.

Because I know what it's like

to be the new kid in town.

Here comes another one.

Hello, boys.

Honey, how was class?

You two must be happy

with yourselves.

I just ran into Maria and she's in tears.

She thinks everyone hates her.

She's right.

John, I want you to go right

down to Ragetti's and apologize.

Appologize?

- For what?

We were trying to explain to her.

She should've listened to us.

I'll meet you at home, honey.

I always knew you were on a short leash,

but not that you were on a choke collar.

Nobody's in charge at

my house except me.

That's the way to talk, Gustafson.

I'm going home and get this

matter straightened out.

You're the man of the house,

the king of the castle.

Max, top her off?

Long live the king!

She threw me out.

Come on, just for tonight.

- Forget it.

You won't even

know I'm here!

That's cause you

won't be here.

What?

I'm cold.

Here's some matches.

Set yourself on fire.

You got three TVs on.

You're not looking at any of them.

What a pig.

That's my tuna on rye.

I've been looking all over for that.

Where did you find it?

Would you like half?

This milk has chunks in it.

What's your point?

What am I doing?

Next door...

... I've got a beautiful wife,

my own bed...

... and a refrigerator full

of food that hasn't expired.

What're you saying?

I'm going down to

Ragetti's to apologize to Maria.

You traitor! You Benedict Arnold!

Finally.

Never thought he'd last this long.

Smells all right.

Why, all of a sudden, this change of heart?

I had a guilty conscience.

OK, Ariel kicked me

out of the house.

I knew I liked your wife.

What about Max?

Oh, my God, forget it. Max is much

too hardheaded to ever say he's sorry.

He's proud.

Of what?

I don't know. He has a strong

character, and I admire that.

You admire Max?

You really are from out of town.

Be careful. The grappa is very strong.

You are speaking to a Gustafson.

I can hold my liquor. And this stuff, too.

How long have you been married?

Six months next week. How about you?

I'm divorced.

I'm sorry.

Antonio was...

uomo terribile.

That sounds bad.

It ain't good.

Oh, jeez.

Enough of that.

I don't want to bore you.

Mr. Gustafson?

Ecco qua... Buona notte!

There... good night.

Sogni d'oro.

Sweet dreams.

Good night, Ariel.

Bon giorno, signora.

Buona sera.

Bona sera.

Buona sera, signore.

Bona sera, signore.

Arrivederci.

Yo, hoe, there, ma!

Rivedercio!

Arrivederci, signorina.

Arrivederci, signorina.

Buona sera, signore.

Pa!

Hey, Jacob. How are you?

Thanks for the Phillips.

Listen....

Melanie and I wanted to

thank you and John...

Melanie and I just wanted

you and John to know...

... how much we appreciate all the help

you've given us with the wedding.

No need to thank me.

Yes, but...

Nothing would make us happier

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