Guns Girls And Gambling Page #2

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...has suffered many hardships because of it.

It took almost a century to recover it.

Before it was learned that the

white man had once again

broken his word and

invaded sacred ground.

But this time

...the Chief and his men

were victorious.

And only then...

...did glory and prosperity return

to our people.

That's a really great story and ahh...

...I know how it feels to

loose something valuable.

I sympathize there,

I give you guys all my support

in the world in finding it now

if you just uncuff me

and get me out of here

you can go look for it!

One million dollars.

That's the price.

I want that mask back here...

...by tomorrow night.

Words going to get out.

Call the Indian.

Who's the Indian?

You hear that?

Agh

Your friends are in for it now.

Looks like we're hunting Elvises.

It seem as though the contest winner...

...wrote down his

address on his entry form.

Who would be that stupid?

Name, address, phone number.

Sign here.

All right, I'll stop talking.

What about him?

Well, he's an Elvis impersonator.

There's only one way to be safe.

Kill him.

Hey!

And besides.

Native Americans can do without

another John Smith.

Come on, no! No! No!

Take it easy!

Guys! Guys! Come on!

Really, you don't have to do this!

I'm nothing, I'm nobody!

Ask my exgirlfriend.

That's why we can do this.

You think the Rancher is responsible?

He's always responsible.

Who's the Rancher?

The guy that hired you to steal the mask.

Hey, nobody hired me remember?

The guy who hired the guy...

who stole the mask.

In the past when the Government

wanted to screw the Tribe.

It was always over money!

And almost always

that money went into the Ranchers pocket.

And he hates Native Americans.

But you guys are so friendly!

Oh oh, God!

Hey, hey look I could scream.

What's college boy going to do?

Crush beer cans on our heads?

Which one's yours?

Agh...

Duh...

That one.

That piece of crap?

Buy American. Come on,

you guys are Native American,

I thought you'd be proud.

What are you doing?

I'm copying down this Elvis

address just in case.

Oh come on, you think the guy

who stole the mask put his

real address down on an entry form?

Get in!

Where?

The tunk!

You're in tune...

...with K.Z.R.E...

where we play you

the best of yesterday...

...and today.

I awoke not knowing where I was

Which is probably

a good thing.

Yeah!

Agh!

Come on!

Okay!

Oh Sh*t!

Oh...What?!

Jesus!

Well looks like Elvis gets to live another day.

You really think the guy who

stole the mask wrote his...

...real address down

on an entry form.

Let's hope.

Your attention please.

This is an announcement

for Train 735...

...to San Antonio,

Baton Rouge and Tacoma

This train has been delayed for

approximately one hour.

Please remain in the station.

for further notices.

All passengers will board...

Once upon a midnight dreary...

while I pondered weak and weary.

There came a tapping,

gently rapping on my chamber door.

Little lady...

you better get the hell outta here...

before I pull out the big gun on you.

Baby, your gun doesn't work on me.

Now, where...

...is the mask?

I don't have it.

Wrong answer!

Hmm.

He is telling the truth.

Oh well.

All right Elvis.

Let's see if this is where you really live.

I'm ready for you.

Hello?

Oh.

You really did put your address

down on the entry form.

You certainly Won't be winning

any thieving contests.

None of you will be.

If I were an ancient Apache Warrior mask,

where would I be hiding?

I know...

...the couch!

Uh!

Hello ?

Is anybody home ?

Who are you?

I'm the girl next door.

Of course you are.

Can I come in?

No. No. Go away.

That's not very neighbourly of you.

That's because I'm not your neighbour.

You know, I've never been in here before.

Oh, neat lamp.

Ha.

Come on, cute girl comes

in here and wants to make

small talk with you and you tell her to leave?

What are you gay or something?

No, I'm not gay.

It's okay if you are.

It's cool.

I'm old enough to be your fath...

...your really cool uncle.

No, you're right.

You could be my father.

Could have been an accident, you know.

Unplanned, high school, maybe after prom.

What?

What are you even doing here anyway?

Oh, sugar.

I need a cup.

Do you have any?

Seriously?

No... it's not the 50's.

Hell, maybe you are too old for me.

See you around Uncle.

Hey if you need anything, I'm right next door.

Give me the mask.

I don't have it!

Give me the mask...

...or I kill your

next door neighbour.

She's not my neighbour, I don't even live here.

Agh!!

That hurt!

Ugh!

So that's how it feels.

Nice punch.

Nice bite.

I'm only going to ask you once.

Where is the mask?

Who are you?

I'm the Cowboy.

That was obvious.

And I can shoot the whiskers

off your chin from 50 yards.

That'd be pretty weird.

Well don't you think the cop behind you

might have something to say about that?

Look behind you?

I can't believe he actually fell for it!

Which one is your car?

I don't have a car!

What do you mean you don't have a car?

I don't know.

How do you get around?

Thankfully I have a cool Uncle.

How did you get here?

I walked!

You walked?

Yeah.

From where?

Somewhere between here...

What?

...and the Indian Reservation.

Even the settlers used horses!

Trust me, if I had a horse,

I would have used it.

Hey, I've seen that guy before.

Outside the casino.

Agh!

Wait!

What the hell's going on?

We're running for our lives.

Is there any particular reason

why Cowboys are trying to kill you?

And Indians!

Cowboys and Indians are trying to kill you?

What's the deal with this mask?

It's an ancient Apache warrior mask.

A what?

It's a long story.

Well, give me the abridged version.

Ulucky in love...

Unlucky in cards, b*tch.

Straight to the 10!

Hail to the Queen!

We're going to hail to the King.

Where's the mask?

Uh!

It's a long story.

Well give me the abridged version.

And here we are!

Wow!

You know you should probably call the Sheriff,

tell him what the hell is going on.

Sheriffs.

Sheriff's as in plural.

Yup, and they're both corrupt.

The Chief owns one.

And the Rancher owns the other one.

Lovely.

So it looks like I'm stuck with you

until I find this mask

I am the Girl Next Door.

My name is Cindy, by the way.

I don't live...

...never mind, I'm John.

Cool!

I always wanted an Uncle John.

You have the right to remain silent.

Two perfect kill shots through the windshield.

Theories?

Don't know.

These Indians are a little

far from the reservation.

Native Americans.

What?

They like to be called, Native Americans now.

Whatever.

So what are two...

...Native Americans...

...doing away from the

casino?

In such a crappy car?

Besides getting killed?

Car's got out-of-state

plates, too.

Hmm.

What you got?

The car...

Belongs to a John Smith.

Two Native Americans stole the car...

...of a guy named

John Smith?

Well, that's some irony for you.

I already told you...

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