Hai-Alarm am Muggelsee Page #2

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Is it really

a sexual orientation, or is it...

more a state of mind,

from the Wannsee?

I've got free beer

for all of you over there!

I'm not going to be insulted by you.

My skin is super.

Do you want to see it?

Only if you come all the way

out of the water.

I'm only thinking of

what's good for you, Mrs Schneider.

- No, you're not.

You just want me out of the water.

You don't care at all about my skin!

What's up here?

Are you tired of life, young man?

I thought this was a diving board.

- You did, did you?

And where would that be? Have you read

anything about diving here, Mr Active?

It doesn't say anything

about not diving either.

Hal A sophist!

With a death wish!

Isn't that a bit much all at one time?

- What do you mean?

Well, he's all out of answers now,

just got questions,

the young hothead.

But there'll be no diving.

- And why not?

From three meters up?

Have you got any idea hm! much

kinetic energy is released in that?

But it goes into the water!

Water?

It's like Russian Roulette.

Off you go now!

- What's going on?

Is something wrong with the water

here in Lake Mggel?

Heat is overrated,

and the cooling effect of water

is just an allegation.

I'd like to have that in more detail,

Hen Mller.

Dangerous? Lake Mggel?

Lake Mggel is not dangerous.

Not Lake Mggel, no.

Never.

Lake Halen is dangerous,

and the Wannsee is dangerous,

and Lake Lietzen is dangerous,

and the Weiensee

in Weiensee is dangerous,

but here it's not dangerous,

because here we do as

the lifeguard says,

so here there is no danger.

But...

- And the lifeguard says:

up is better than down,

and on land is better than in the water.

And back there I've got

free beer for you, you hothead.

206, I've got a 52/12 near landing 13.

Who's that then?

Mrs Schneider.

The old one or the young one?

Old.

- I hope I misheard that.

Otherwise, you'll get your ears boxed.

Sorry, Mrs Schneider.

I... -

It just slipped out.

Slipped?

There's no slip on landing 13.

No, just Mrs Schneider.

If she's the old one, just leave it.

Good.

Cheerio then, Mrs Schneider!

Bye-bye, then.

I bet you want free beer!

Yes. With plenty of foam.

Yes, the white foam standing way high!

Way up high,

and you can just blow it away.

A lot of people say

foam is the best bit of the beer.

Can't you play something else?

Something romantic?

Yes.

- Foam.

What is foam?

It is the simplest thing

so hard to achieve!

So, sporty, here's your free beer.

Take your time.

And you? What are doing with that thing?

Surfing.

Surf-paddling, good idea.

Lot of people doing that now.

But you'll need a surf-paddling permit.

You can get one on Mondays and

Wednesdays between 12:30 and 13:00,

at the surf-paddling permit

issuing office directly from me!

That's now!

Yes, but first you have to qualify

for the permit over there.

What's going on here?

- Nothing. Everything as it should be.

So why is no one bathing?

- What's that got to do with you?

Do you own the lido?

- Yes.

I am the rich man of Friedrichshagen,

and that's my lido.

Ah. Well the swimmers

are drinking beer.

The surf-paddlers are still practicing,

all the kids are at

Pet's Corner.

And the diving board is closed

on account of height.

You think just because

you're the rich man of Friedrichshagen,

everything here runs to your say so.

And who are you?

- I'm Horst Jablonski.

Just putting my two cents in.

- Well mm!

Haven't you got anything better to do?

- Not really.

Then stay with me.

I'll pay you ten marks an hour.

It's euros now.

- Fine, 5 euros, then.

Whatever.

Isn't there someone here

who wants to go in the water?

It is a bathing beach, for God's sake!

Now listen well, you pathetic weeds

this is my lido,

and if no one here's going

to go in the water,

I'll shut up shop

and kick you all out.

Then a giant arsehole

will come out of the sky

and cover the whole place with sh*t!

Right you are.

You wanted to go in, earlier?

Well, in you go then.

Shall I get you a towel

for afterwards?

No, thanks.

I'll just go on in.

Shark Alarm

on Lake Mggel

Shark Alarm

on Lake Mggel

Where was I now?

strategy-

c) No one goes in the water, but

positive, because now at the lido

Because the people at the lido

are going in the water again.

You think I have this lake so people

can stand around the edge, or what?

But I'm the mayor here!

I made my first million shovelling

sh*t, and now it's my tum to talk,

and you're having egg sandwiches,

or ham, or, for the adventurous,

fish-paste.

Is there cucumber on the fish-paste?

- No.

But I'll make paste

out of your cuke, my friend.

But this is the town hall,

and here I'm in charge.

Yes, but it's my town hall,

and if I say so, you'll be in charge

in the bus shelter.

As long as I'm breastfeeding

I can't eat fish-paste,

and I'll breastfeed

as long as I want.

Does anyone here have

anything against that?

I'll get this bit.

Give me the camera, it's mine, too.

- No.

It belongs to Arri!

- Exactly!

F***ing

Why are you here?

I want to see the oily doctor.

Obviously, but why?

Do you want to become a diver?

Need a permit?

No, phantom limb pain.

It's an old memento

of an unpleasant encounter.

Ouch, phantom limb pain.

And can the city doctor

do something about it?

Yes, issue a certificate, for the health

insurance. Get free prescriptions.

Ah, free prescriptions.

I've got one of those,

for ski thumb.

We found that.

It was in the lake.

At first we thought it was a jellyfish.

- Stupid. A Jellyfish.

Or a crab, we thought,

when I was holding a hand in my hand.

Hand in hand!

Or a starfish.

- Just fancy that!

I want that shark!

Shark? What shark?

Shark?

Do you see this hand?

That's the work of a shark,

and this shark is here somewhere...

Somewhere out there.

In the lake.

- Wait a moment!

And who are you?

- I am the fish expert

from Humboldt University.

Marine Biology Department.

- Marine biology! All well and good

if there were some sea,

but what if it's freshwater out there?

These are all hypotheses,

just theories.

I think that

- OK,

let me summarize:

we assume

that out there in the lake is a shark.

And we assume that said shark is large.

And we further assume

that the shark has teeth.

And if we accept that

maybe it bit off this hand,

well, what exactly, in such a case,

would you recommend? -Primarily,

we have to establish whether

- No!

Him... the one I don't know yet.

Who are you, anyway?

- I am Snake Mller.

I'm a shark hunter.

Now that's a coincidence.

I'm also called Mller. Officer Mller.

Just because someone is called Mller,

and he's a shark hunter,.. -Yes,

of course. I'm also a Mller. Right

Yes, of course.

- OK, assuming you asked me,

and assuming I was going to answer,

then I'd say:

first thing, no one should

go in the water anymore.

We'd already got that far.

And now no further.

Typical males, sitting around, talking

and no one doing anything.

But people out there

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