Hai-Alarm am Muggelsee Page #3

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who put their trust in us,

they need us to do something!

- So what should we do?

I thought suggestion b) was best.

- Me, too.

B)!

What was suggestion b) again?

B):
We continue as before

Nothing to report here.

Everything normal.

Oi, Erwin, I've got something!

Really?

- Aye, didn't I just say so?

Just a tiddler.

- Ave,

but we can use it...

...to get a big one.

- Yes, boy!

This is a big one,

a very big one!

A very big one!

Hold tight, hold on!

Mr Mayor, isn't it strange

that this year's Swim! Lake Mggel!

has so few contestants?

Why strange?

Quality beats quantity.

Well, last year

there were 1,234 contestants,

and this year it's only 10.

- So?

You're avoiding the question.

Not at all.

I don't even know what the question is.

All I know is that assuming

something is... -What, then?

That something isn't quite

right at Lake Mggel

What? What's not quite right?

Nothing! Nothing isn't quite right

at Lake Mggel,

that's exactly what I'm saying!

But you just said that

- I didn't say anything,

And nothing about a shark. At least

let me finish what I was saying.

Can I print that?

- What do you mean print?

There's nothing to print!

The bit about the shark.

- There is no shark.

I never

said anything about a shark.

What's your problem?

Do you need an invitation?

No, I changed my mind.

I heard there was something

in the water -Don't talk, swim!

Whoever catches me first is the winner!

How did they do that,

Casablanca 3D, amazing!

And in colour!

They do that frame by frame.

Crazy.

Think about it, 24 frames per second,

3,600 seconds per hour,

The film lasts 102 minutes,

that's 1 hour and 42 minutes.

That makes 146,880 frames,

go figure!

All to colour in!

And when they want to put it in 3D, say

that's 1 minute

per frame's fiddling around,

then that's 2,448 hours

or 102 days.

It's really spooky, 3D.

Sometimes it feels really real, as if

they really are trying to undo your bra.

Yeah, it's amazing what

they can do these days.

A campfire, how lovely!

I wonder whose it is.

Why don't we just kick off our shoes

and sit for a while?

You're a sleep-in-his-boots kind of guy.

How did you get to be

a shark hunter anyway?

Not an interesting story.

- It is interesting.

In Hawaii, shark hunting

is a regular job,

It's like being a street cleaner here.

Why don't you tell me

how you got into city marketing?

Oh, that was a joke. I was studying

business admin, a degree course,

but after a year I thought,

Vera, you can't go on like this,

I wanted to do something

that had a future

And then I thought,

marketing, that has a future,

specially cities, which won't work

these days without marketing.

Spot on.

There's something to that.

Really.

Anyway, then something

really funny happened,

because my boyfriend said to me,

Vera, he said, look at this,

and he had a brochure,

and on the front was

a picture of the Eiffel Tuner,

and there was

Paris, City of Love,

and he wanted to take me for a weekend

in the city of love,

and I thought, of course,

Paris really is a wonderful town,

and the photos were

so expressive, and...

...that's nice.

Yup. That's from James Last!

But a bit crooked.

Is that hm! they play in Hawaii?

- No.

It's because of this. This is the result

of an unpleasant encounter in Hawaii.

An amputee!

- No, Hawaii.

But...

Do you really use the little finger of

your right hand when you play guitar?

Luckily that's the only

one that isn't used.

Luckily.

It's getting cold.

I wonder whose fire this is.

No idea.

Shall I build it up?

Yes, if you can...

My place or yours?

I'm not ready yet

to go with someone.

Let's go to mine.

No, let's go in the water first.

For what?

- Naked!

OK.

How did you get that?

- For security!

It's an old Hawaiian trick.

Beer. Keeps the sharks away.

I've suddenly got the urge to dive,

but I'm scared.

I know what you mean.

Let's go down.

Yes, let's go down.

Shark Alarm

There was something watching me,

and then it bit me!

Yes, those eyes,

I think I know them!

Oh God, I was bitten,

maybe I'll bleed to death!

'Oh God, I was bitten,

maybe I'll bleed to death!'

Oh! It's you!

- 'Oh! It's me!'

Who's that then?

She bit me, the b*tch.

'She bit me, the b*tch. '

Where did she bite you then, the b*tch?

In the foot, the b*tch

I'll sue your arse, you whore.

'I'll sue your arse, you whore. '

'That's my divorced wife!'

My arse, divorced!

You were reported as dead.

I had to y to Hawaii

to identify your finger from the ring.

But that was after the divorce.

- There was no divorce.

You just went out to buy cigarettes,

and that's no official divorce.

What else could it have been?

I was a non-smoker!

The little finger?

What kind of ring was that?

That you wore on your little finger?

A too-small wedding ring obviously.

Or like a too-large penis ring.

We need to talk to you,

Snake Mller.

As you wish. Talk away.

I'd rather come on board

and talk to you inside.

What is discussed here

must remain between us.

It must not leave this cabin.

It is absolutely confidential

and must be kept completely secret.

- You mean...

we shouldn't discuss this with anyone?

- Under no circumstances.

Is that a yes or a no?

- No! Not even your own wife.

I don't have one, anyway.

- I was married once,

but as soon as the kids left home,

it was all oven.

Even though they were only gone

for two hours. -We have a problem:

We wanted to carry on as we were,

but in the Swim! Lake Mggel! event,

we had only 10 contestants this year,

as opposed to 1,234 last year.

That's hardly carrying on as we were.

- Yes, that's bad.

But what has it got to do with me?

And furthermore, of the 10, only seven

crossed the finish line.

And now many people are asking:

what happened to the other three?

Well, let's have a look, shall we?

So. I've just taken these

pictures with the helicopter.

Here is the lake, and these are

the three swimmers, I believe.

Thank God -A stroke of luck.

So everything's alright then.

No, everything's not alright then.

- Why not?

This picture...

Can someone get this thing down again?

Now comes something interesting:

Namely this gray shadow here.

So? It's a shadow.

That is a shark.

- How do you know that?

I don't know it, it's a gut feeling.

- Feelings aren't enough, Snake.

Feelings aren't worth much here,

I had to learn that the hard way, Snake!

And what about me?

I had to learn it, too, you whore!

The ladies are right.

In particular Ms Baum.

Feelings have no place

in municipal politics.

Gerda, if you see this,

come back, please.

If you were right,

I could issue the shark alarm.

Do you have any proof?

- As much proof as a ring on his finger.

Leave it out with the ring will you,

you bitchy old goat!

Ms Baum, please don't

fight with that woman,

I'm not interested in her at all.

How does the shark alarm work

from the city marketing point of view?

From a city marketing point of view,

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