Hai-Alarm am Muggelsee Page #7

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only were down that road but brought...

Shark Alarm, Day 13

City marketing stands and

falls on the competence

of the people who practise it.

There's a lot of money to be lost and

always competition with other cities.

That's stressful,

and we do it here

just for Friedrichshagen.

Just for Friedrichshagen.

Tourism is undoubtedly

a double-edged sword

He who wields it will

always lose in the end.

But poverty's even worse

and no town is valueless.

So close your eyes and set to,

and we do it here

just for Friedrichshagen.

Just for Friedrichshagen.

Shark Alarm, Day 17

This is day 17 of Friedrichshagen's

shark alarm,

and day 16 of the BIsche Festival.

This much can be said:

this isn't a good

day for the festival.

The town seems tired of the festivities

and an air of uncertainty dominates.

How long will the shark alarm continue?

How long can people manage

without Lake Mggel Boulevard?

When will the shark be captured?

I'll put these questions to the

men standing next to me:

You are a diver here,

have you had a sighting of the shark?

You can't see much, you know.

Under two meters it's totally dark.

Do you think people are right

to say the shark never existed?

Well, you know, one says

this, the other says that.

I'm just a diver,

and divers have to be impartial.

Good, and mm I'll hand you back

- Hop hop hop...

Here we have a demonstration,

- The shark alarm must stop!

The citizens of Friedrichshagen...

- Free beer for all here...

against local government policies!

- Hop hop hop!

Hop hop hop, the shark alarm must stop!

Free beer for all here, hop hop hop!

The shark alarm must stop!

Snake Mller! We have to cancel

the shark alarm.

What do you mean We'?

What's it got to do with me?

I wanted to be in the working group

and you didn't want me!

The Alarm's running out of control.

People are rebelling

they're cracking up.

I can't just cancel the shark alarm,

I have only three possibilities:

Shark dead, shark demonstrably gone,

or false alarm.

Yeah? Tough luck,

it's nothing to do with me.

You must be joking!

You're the one, you and your brother,

who bought the shark in the first place.

I have it on good authority!

You bought the shark

and put it in the lake!

Yes, but it wasn't our fault.

Our entire pocket money!

And all we wanted was a guppy to cuddle.

I know all about that.

As a kid I wanted a hamster,

and what did I get?

A recorder!

- That's bad!

Can you hear the seagulls?

Those are no gulls,

those are the enraged citizens

of Friedrichshagen.

The whole Shark-Alarm-thing

has got out of control, Snake!

Snake!

Snake!

What do you want here? -Sign the

False Alarm! or kill the shark!

I'm not going to kill any more sharks,

or at least not this one.

It's my shark,

and I'm responsible for it,

me and my brother. Mostly my brother.

Kill him, Snake!

- Who, my brother?

No, the shark!

- Kill it, Snake.

Do it for Friedrichshagen!

- Would you do that to your hamster?

They don't live so long.

They're mostly dead by puberty.

If you don't want to kill it, Snake,

at least sign the false alarm order.

I've got the form here.

You have to sign here, and here.

Snake! Don't do it!

It'll land you in jail,

It's perjury!

Snake, after everything we had together,

do you really think I'd do such a thing?

Don't listen to the whore, Snake!

They'll put you in jail. -In jail?

He's going to jail anyway!

Because of what happened!

He put the shark in the lake.

It was actually my brother's idea.

There'll be compensation

in the billions.

I'll sue your ass, Snake Mller!

Mr Mller, Mr Mller.

Me, or Snake?

Both. That's why I said it twice.

The enraged citizens want to open

the brewery vats at half past five

Why that?

Because they've heard that you

can drive off a shark with beer.

Is that true?

Don't look at me like that, Snake.

Why are looking at me that way?

You told them. It was you

who told them about the beer.

No! It was him!

People, it's not so simple

with the beer.

Yes, the shark

is one of nature's wonders,

and yes, it can smell a drop of blood

in a thousand cubic meters of water.

But driving it off with beer

is not fully tested,

and one needs a great

deal of beer for it,

because while one drop of blood

in a thousand cubic meters is enough,

with beer you need a liter

per thousand cubic metres.

Lake Mggel contains about

22 million cubic meters of water,

that makes 22 thousand liters of beer.

So that means 22 cubic metres

or 220 hectoliters of beer!

Where would you get that amount round

here? And it's not fully proven!

Hop hop hop,

the shark alarm must stop!

You stupid fish expert

with your stupid gibberish.

Can't you keep your trap shut just for

once? -What do you want?

I just can't imagine that

anyone will listen to me,

that someone might actually hear me out.

Apart from that it wasn't me that

started the beer thing! It was her!

How about beer, for example?

- Free beer!

Beer drives sharks may,

it's age old shark hunting wisdom.

Ask the fish expert.

He knows it. He's just not saying!

Hop hop hop,

the shark alarm must stop!

I trusted you when I told you that.

And we were naked!

Naked, but not so nice to look at!

- I trusted you

with old shark hunter's lore,

and you went and told the people!

'Told, told', as if it

stopped with 'told'.

I had to persuade them and as for

the brewery:
I had to drag them there!

What do we want?

- Beer!

And what does the shark want?

- Two!

And where do we get it?

- Um Ah No idea

From the Brgerbru you idiots!

The beer is free at...

Brgerbru!

Free beer...

Brgerbru!

Free beer...

Brgerbru!

Sorry, Snake,

but what else should I have done?

From the point of view of city marketing

it was the best solution!

But it's not tested!

The beer could kill

all the fish in Lake Mggel.

If the fish die, the lake dies, too.

All is not lost, Snake.

Kill the shark or OK the false alarm,

Snake, so I can give the all-clear.

The enraged citizens

are waiting for my signal.

At five-thirty if I shoot the white,

that's the all clear.

If I shoot the red,

then the beer goes in the lake.

It's up to you, Snake. -Well, if it

were me, I'd say: shoot the white.

I can only shoot the white

when the shark alarm is cancelled.

What's up?

We're already three minutes late!

OK, there's a third possibility:

I can leave and take the shark with me.

How are you going to get

the shark so quickly?

It's here.

That's crazy.

Why should it be exactly here?

It is here. I can feel it in my hand.

Because of the shark cage. They attract

sharks, everyone knows that.

As soon as a cage is the water,

the sharks come.

Don't you ever watch TV?

That sounds plausible,

but how can I be sure?

I give you my word, fish expert!

You can call me Karl-Heinz.

- But you not.

My former Christian name is secret.

I love men who have a secret.

Then love me!

Here!

I am the son of the man who sold

the shark to the Mller brothers.

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