Hail, Caesar! Page #10

WOMAN:

Call didn’t take so long, then.

EDDIE:

Yes——no——fast talker. What can I do

for you, Thora?

THORA THACKER:

Well, I'll be fast too. I only

wanted to notify you as a courtesy

that I’m running my story on Baird

Whitlock.

55.

EDDIE:

Yeah? What story?

THORA THACKER:

The story. I have a credible source

and I’m going to run it, and I

think you know what story I mean.

EDDIE:

I have no idea——there’s nothing

going on with Baird——I would know,

wouldn’t I?

THORA THACKER:

Don’t play dumb, Eddie, I’m talking

about...

(dramatic pause, dramatic

delivery)

“On Wings as Eagles.”

This stops Eddie in his tracks. He stares at Thora, wide-eyed

and shaken.

Finally:

EDDIE:

What?!

She gives him a knowing look and a confirming nod.

THORA THACKER:

Running it tomorrow.

EDDIE:

First of all——first of all——first

of all——there’s nothing to that

story. I’ve heard it, it’s been

around forever, and it’s never been

confirmed. And secondly——you can’t

print that! Even if you could print

it you couldn’t print it. And you

wouldn’t want to, Thora, it’s

beneath you.

THORA THACKER:

The facts are never beneath me.

EDDIE:

People don’t want the facts, they

want to believe. That’s our great

industry——mine, and yours too. They

want to believe that Baird Whitlock

is a great star, and a good man.

56.

THORA THACKER:

You’re admitting he isn’t.

EDDIE:

No, I’m saying he is, though it’s

beside the point. There’s nothing

to it, nothing to the gossip.

THORA THACKER:

I AM NOT A GOSSIP COLUMNIST!

EDDIE:

No no, of course not——

THORA THACKER:

Don’t confuse me with my sister!

EDDIE:

Hardly. But look——do you have to

run it tomorrow?

THORA THACKER:

It’s my entire column. I’m happy to

talk to Baird for comment, but

it’ll have to be this afternoon.

EDDIE:

Baird is unavailable right now.

Wait one day.

A chirping hoot from Thora.

Eddie grimaces and lowers his voice confidentially:

Thora, wait one day and I’ll give

you a true story for tomorrow's

column. A little something——about

Hobie Doyle.

THORA THACKER:

My readers don’t care about Hobie

Doyle. He wears chaps.

EDDIE:

Do they care about Carlotta Valdez?

They’re sweet on each other. You

should see the two of ‘em together,

peas in a pod.

THORA THACKER:

Trade the story of my career for a

puff piece on Hobie Doyle? I don’t

think so.

57.

EDDIE:

You’re not trading anything, you’re

waiting one day on a story that’s

years old. Give me a day, I can let

you talk to Baird and show you your

story’s the bunk. And if I’m wrong,

no skin off your nose, you run the

column. In the meantime you have an

exclusive——no one else knows about

Hobie and Carlotta.

Thora eyes him suspiciously.

THORA THACKER:

No one?

EDDIE:

You’re it.

Eddie treats the deal as done in hopes that that will help

make it so. He smiles at her.

EDDIE (CONT’D)

What kind of name is Thora, anyway?

THORA THACKER:

It’s a name that nineteen million

readers trust. Don’t play games

with them, Eddie.

As he starts to trot off, his gesture takes in the entire

studio:

EDDIE:

Nobody's playing games here.

INT. STUDIO ACCOUNTING OFFICE - DAY

DESK:

Attach. case on top of the desk, bank-wrapped bills stacked

inside.

The top of the case is swung down. The two halves of the case

do not quite meet: too much money inside.

Straining pressure.

Stu Schwartz arches an eye behind horn-rimmed glasses.

STU:

Is that big enough?

58.

Eddie strains downward as he presses the two clasps, inward,

until——snap! snap!——they catch.

EXT. CAPITOL LOT - DAY

Eddie Mannix walks through the campus opposite-ways from last

time, the attach. case bulging under one arm.

A woman arcs in to walk with him——a tall, red-haired woman,

Thora Thacker it seems, except that her dress is different.

Eddie, as when ambushed earlier, fights to conceal surprise

and dismay.

WOMAN:

Hello Eddie, I'm notifying you as a

courtesy before I run tomorrow’s

story.

EDDIE:

Hello, Thessaly, I just saw——never

mind, what’s up? What’s the story?

THESSALY THACKER

It’s about Baird Whitlock.

EDDIE:

There is absolutely no truth to

that old story, believe me!

THESSALY THACKER

(puzzled)

Old?

EDDIE:

Old! Stale! Rotten! And——

THESSALY THACKER

I’m talking about today.

EDDIE:

And there’s——

(abrupt shift from heated

to cagey)

What?

THESSALY THACKER

A little bird told me he

disappeared from the set today.

EDDIE:

Oh! That. No no. Yes, he did have

to take a break. Minor injury, high

ankle sprain.

59.

THESSALY THACKER

What did you think I mean?

EDDIE:

No, nothing. I saw your sister

earlier, she was trying to

resurrect some old gossip about

Baird.

THESSALY THACKER

I’m sure she was. That cow. She

couldn’t find a new story if it

were taped to her posterior.

EDDIE:

Well, she’s——

THESSALY THACKER

High ankle sprain? That’s the best

you could come up with? We all know

about the drinking jags and the

womanizing and the trips to San

Bernardino.

EDDIE:

Baird is a good family man. He has

a high ankle sprain.

YOUNG MAN’S VOICE

Mr. Mannix!

A freckled youth in a cardigan sweater is bicycling up the

walkway. As he furiously pedals, a Capitol Pictures pennant

snaps and flutters from a high antenna off the back fender.

He skids to a halt, close.

EDDIE:

What’s up, Peanut?

PEANUT:

Natalie told me to find you PDQ! I

know it sounds screwy but she said

someone's calling from the future!

EDDIE:

The——good lord! Thessaly, I have to

run.

THESSALY THACKER

If you do know where Baird is, let

me talk to him.

Eddie Mannix is already hastening off.

60.

EDDIE:

Sure——well, I’ll——find out where he

is, right away, Thessaly, I’m sure

he’ll——

(turns with a thought)

Say, what kind of name is Thessaly,

anyway?

THESSALY THACKER

It’s a name that twenty million

readers trust. They want the truth,

Eddie.

On his hasty retreat:

EDDIE:

Truth, yes! We're gonna give it

to'm!.

He jogs off with the bulging attach. case clamped to his

side, led by Peanut on his bicycle with its fluttering

pennant.

INT. EDDIE’S OUTER OFFICE - DAY

Eddie strides through the outer office.

NATALIE:

On two! And Hobie Doyle is in

there.

EDDIE:

Right.

INNER OFFICE:

Hobie, in dinner jacket, rises from the chair facing the

desk.

HOBIE:

Lo, Mr. Mannix.

As he rushes around the desk to the phone and puts down

attach. case:

EDDIE:

Thanks for coming, Hobie, one

second. Mannix here, who——Damn!

He looks at the handset he has picked up, shakes his head,

cradles it. He hits a button on the phone.

61.

... Hung up, Natalie. Tell me the

second they call back.

NATALIE:

Yes, sir.

Eddie looks darkly down at the attach. case.

HOBIE:

‘T’s goin’ on there, Mr. Mannix,

looks like you're expectin’ rain.

EDDIE:

Nah, it’s——nothing. How’s the first

day on the picture? Getting

comfortable?

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