Hail, Caesar! Page #11

Eddie is still looking down at the bulging attach. case. He

pushes experimentally down on the middle of its buldge. He

pops the clasps. He redistributes the currency

inside——blocked from Hobie’s view by the case itself——as

Hobie talks.

HOBIE:

Oh, I guess it’s goin’ purt good,

that Mr. Lau——er, Laurentz, he’s an

awful good man he’s helpin me get

through it, I give him all the

credit in the world, me the new

hand in the bunkhouse, they got me

talkin; a lot which takes a little

gettin’ use to, talkin’ with the

camera lookin’ at me but heck I

enjoy.

EDDIE:

Good, that’s fine.

HOBIE:

Usually on a picture I just say

“Whitey!” Or “Whoa, there,” but

this-here it’s talkin’ an’t’s

people listenin’, threw me little

at first but I think I got my leg

up onner now.

Eddie has closed the case again and does the clasps. He

assesses its shape as he talks to Hobie:

EDDIE:

Well that’s fine. Laurence came in

this morning to tell me how well

you’re doing, he’s very impressed.

(MORE)

62.

EDDIE (CONT'D)

You just continue to do whatever he

says. He knows how to make a

quality picture.

HOBIE:

Oh that is true, he will not quit

on a take until it has quality——

The phone buzzes.

EDDIE:

Hang on, Hobie.

(punches the intercom

button)

That them?

NATALIE’S VOICE

Sorry, sir——no, do you want Mrs.

Mannix on one?

He deflates; picks up the phone.

EDDIE:

Hi hon... Oh, you know——busy... Uh-

huh... Uh-huh... But I thought he

asked to play infield... I see...

Well, maybe we should make him

honor that commitment...

He has reopened the case and is rearranging the money.

... Well that’s true——Of course,

you’re right. Okay, okay, I’ll call

the coach... Sure. Love you too.

He hangs up.

HOBIE:

Mr. Mannix, should I run out’n get

you a bigger grip? That’n looks a

little snug.

Eddie looks up at Hobie and focuses on him for the first

time. A long, appraising look.

Hobie returns the look, not sure what it means.

Finally:

EDDIE:

Hobie:
there’s a hundred thousand

dollars in that attach. case.

(MORE)

63.

EDDIE (CONT'D)

Ransom money. Baird Whitlock has

been kidnapped.

Hobie stares, shocked. Eddie Mannix nods a grim confirmation.

Finally:

HOBIE:

Well, this is bad. Bad for movie

stars ever’where.

Eddie’s mouth forms a moue of agreement.

HOBIE (CONT’D)

And you got no idea who’s mixed up

in this thang?

Eddie gives a wagging headshake.

HOBIE (CONT’D)

I would look at the extries.

EDDIE:

The extras. Why?

HOBIE:

Well you just never know about an

extrie. They come’n go. Everyone

else, I’m on the set, I look at the

guy settin’ the 5K I think, “Why

there’s old Bud, settin the 5K.”

Script girl, wrangler, same thang.

Extries, that’s diffurnt. Not

makin’ a blanket call here——there’s

good extries’n bad extries. All I’m

sayin:
you look at an extrie, you

got no idea what he’s thankin’.

Eddie stares at Hobie, contemplating.

The silence is broken by the buzz of his phone. Natalie’s

voice comes through the unit:

NATALIE’S VOICE

He’s back——line one.

EDDIE:

Hello!... Yes, I have it... Stage

8?... Right. Just leave it there?

And when do I get Baird?... I’ll do

it right now.

He hangs up, looks at the case, looks at Hobie.

64.

Can I use your belt?

INT. WATERFRONT BAR - DAY

We are coming off the lettering on the side of a boat which

identifies it as “The Swingin’ Dinghy.”

Our move reveals that behind the boat which is suspended by

two chains like a lifeboat is a backbar in the middle of

which is a clock, just now striking twelve. We move down off

the clock to find a bartender looking up at it. A dishrag is

draped over his shoulder, a well-chewed cigar stub is planted

in his mouth.

BARTENDER:

The Swingin’ Dinghy is closin’,

folks. Time for me to clean up,

time for you to clear out.

He moves to get a broom. On his move we widen out to show the

bar’s clientele: about a dozen sailors and their dates, five

or six young women. The boat of which this establishment is

namesake is a quarter-size model hanging over the bar.

The girls are mounting the stairs to leave the cellar bar.

One turns back with a farewell:

GIRL:

So long, fellas! See ya in eight

months!

The morose sailors all gaze up at the departing girls. The

bartender asks one sailor:

BARTENDER:

Eight months?

He is addressing a sailor whose glum look stays on the

exiting girls. The look lingers on the door after it closes

behind them. The sailor sighs.

SAILOR:

Yeah——we’re shippin’ out in the

mawnin.

Another sailor, seated on the stool of a piano near the

stairs, is also looking glum.

SAILOR 2

Golly:
eight months without a dame.

The lead sailor, equally downcast, is played by Burt Gurney.

65.

BURT:

Can ya beat it.

BARTENDER:

(gruff)

Yer gonna have to beat it.

Visible through a high window-well which gives onto the

sidewalk are the gams of a girl who has stopped to adjust the

seam of one stocking.

Burt, gazing yearningly up at the legs, starts to sing:

BURT:

Oh, we’re headin’ out to sea...

The production number “No Dames!” begins.

INT. CORNER OF THE SOUND STAGE - DAY

The song has developed and the dance begun, but here, off the

set, the blaring playback is echoing and not as loud. Eddie

Mannix enters the stage. He is dimly lit only by spill from

the bar set, house lights turned off for shooting.

Eddie gives cautious looks around as he hoists the attach.

case, now secured around its middle by a shiny black belt. He

gingerly stows the attach. case behind an electrical box

bearing the warning, DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE.

INT. WATERFRONT BAR

BACK TO THE SET:

The song finishes with Burt being ass-bounced and the

bartender bellowing:

BARTENDER:

Now cut that out! This ain’t that

kind of place!

The general pandemonium of the dancing sailors is arrested by

a voice through a megaphone:

VOICE:

And... cut! Yah, okay. Okay.

We cut behind the director seated on a canvas chair onto the

back of which his name is stitched: “.rne Seslum.”

66.

VOICE (CONT’D)

Come here, Burt Gurney. We go

again.

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR

All right, kids, back to one!

Burt Gurney walks up, boyishly cheerful, and is joined by the

Bartender.

BURT:

Anything different, Mr. Seslum?

.RNE

Yah yah yah, no no no, mostly

pretty good. But this time, don’t

put dishrag on bartender’s head.

You’re the star of the picture,

Burt Gurney. Who cares about the

bartender, you are the star.

The Bartender grumbles, walking away:

BARTENDER:

That’s my whole character, the slow

burn.

BURT:

(genuine)

Gosh, Mr. Seslum, I don’t mind, if

he wants me to——

.RNE

It is decided!

Eddie Mannix walks up.

EDDIE:

Lo, Burt.

Brightly, before heading back to the set:

BURT:

Hello, Mr. Mannix!

EDDIE:

.rne, I don’t want to stick my nose

in other people’s business, but,

uh, I understand you’ve been, uh,

associating with DeeAnna Moran?

.RNE

Yah yah we associated.

67.

EDDIE:

Yes, and she’s——

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