Hail the Conquering Hero Page #5

the bloom of young manhood.

The arms of a mother who struggled

through poverty and privation

to raise her son

rightly and courageously,

that he might follow in the

honorable footsteps of his father.

The years were hard.

Not always was there work,

and the winds of reality blew

coldly against this frail woman

protecting her infant son.

She had one possession,

her home.

The little white house

at the end of Oak Street.

The home of heroes.

She clung to it tenaciously,

but one day she came to

the end of her rope,

and a mortgage

was her only solution.

I have here

the document in question,

purchased by the grateful

citizens of our township.

Purchased with deep respect by the

grateful citizens of our township,

who have asked me to perform

the following ceremony.

You will notice

I have nothing up my sleeve.

Everybody's been so kind.

Very nice, Reverend.

Everything went perfect, huh?

It was

a very beautiful ceremony.

Well, how do I pay it back?

Well, they should've done it a long

time ago on account of your old man.

Wait till they find out.

Who's gonna find out?

Woodrow, we want your opinion.

On what?

On the location of the

monument. The monument?

Yes. Naturally, General

Zabriski has the choice spot,

but then he's been there

so long.

What monument is that?

Oh, didn't you know?

Oh, but of course you didn't.

We're raising you a little

monument by public subscription.

I always say it's better to do

these things while they're hot.

Now, wait a minute!

Just something modest

in granite probably.

Bronze is simply

impossible to get.

It's just to our first hero

of this present war.

Look, if anybody

deserves a monument,

it's my father, not me!

That's right.

He's on it, too. You're

both on it, shaking hands.

It's called,

"Like Father, Like Son. "

Now, just in front of the

station there's a plot,

and I thought

if it wasn't too...

Did I say something wrong?

You mean you haven't

told him yet?

Well, I didn't get

a chance to, dear.

Every time I started to,

a band started to play

or they burned

the mortgage on his house...

Or they raised him a statue.

Well, I can't help it.

I suppose you're

very proud of him now?

Well, why shouldn't I be?

I grew up with him.

So did I, but I don't

walk around starry-eyed...

You're just jealous.

Well, make it snappy,

will you? Of course I will.

Wonderful sentimental nonsense

and seven hungry men to feed.

Oh, boy!

Hey.

What?

What do I do now?

Well, you just

let it blow over.

Did you ever see

a statue blow over?

Well, maybe you could

be sort of hard to please.

They want it standing up,

you want it sitting down.

They want it shaking hands, you want

it with the hands behind the back.

Now... They want it in

front of the station,

you want it where

General Zablitzki is,

till one day they say, "Do

you want it, or don't you?"

And you say,

"In that case, no. "

And there you are.

Well, what do I do

about the mortgage?

Well, you could sort of...

Look, I didn't get you into

this... Oh, yes, you did!

I was gonna hide in the...

A Marine never hides!

That's what semper fidelis

means. It means "face the music. "

Well, it does not! It happens

to mean "always faithful"!

That's right,

faithful to your mother.

It doesn't mean faithful to your mother

at all. It means faithful to the...

What's the matter with you?

You're home. Your mother's happy.

Did you see that look in her eyes?

Your girl still loves you, and the

town gave you a nice little reception.

I'll say they did! Boy, I

wished I was in your shoes.

Boy, I wish you were, too!

Look, I don't want

to sound ungrateful.

I know you did it for the best, and

I thank you for your good intentions...

I tell you

it'll all blow over.

Everything is perfect, except

for a couple of details.

They hang people

for a couple of details.

What are you talking about?

I been a hero, you could

call it that, for 25 years,

and does anybody

ever ask me what I done?

If they did,

I could hardly tell them,

I've told it

so different so many times.

It ain't as if you done it on purpose.

By Tuesday you'll be forgotten.

Well, I hope you're right.

I know I'm right.

You take General Zablitzki,

for instance... Zabriski.

All right,

where did he tend bar?

That's a

different case entirely.

They bought him

at an ironworks

that was

going out of business.

He was just a bargain,

that's all.

Well, you're the only guy

who knows it.

All everybody else

knows is he's a hero.

He's got a statue in the park,

and the birds sit on it.

Except that I ain't got no birds

on me, I'm in the same boat.

Now, look.

Woodrow.

Yes? Could I see you for

a few moments, please?

Why, certainly.

Woodrow! Now, hurry, darling.

Dinner's on the table.

And you, too, Sergeant.

You come along too, Libby.

We'd be delighted to have you.

Thank you. I...

Come on, Libby.

Boy, this is something. Pass

some of that cheese, will you?

Now, just a little pie

to fill in the chinks.

Yes, ma'am, I'll have to

eat it in little pieces.

There you are.

Aren't you hungry, Woodrow?

Well, I guess the excitement kind

of twisted my stomach a little.

It's the fever.

No, it isn't the fever.

That never bothers me

at all except...

You see?

Not at all.

It's not...

Well, don't blow the house

down now that we own it.

Wasn't that a lovely gesture? This

is the happiest day of my life.

Woodrow, if you're all finished, would

you come outside with me a moment?

There's something I

have to tell you. Sure.

Here it comes.

Here what comes?

I'll see what it is.

What's the matter, Woodrow?

Does he feel hot?

Feel his head.

I don't feel hot.

If anything, I...

Woodrow, Judge Dennis,

the Sheriff, Doc Bissell

and a lot of other men

want to see you right away.

They're in the parlor.

What about?

They didn't tell me, dear.

They just said...

They probably want to

baptize a baby after you.

What's the matter, dear?

Good afternoon,

Judge Dennis.

There you are, Woodrow.

Where are the medals?

The medals.

Well, I just wore those

to get off the train.

I suppose I shouldn't have.

What do you mean,

you shouldn't have?

If all good men wore medals,

it wouldn't be so hard

to tell the good from the bad.

I guess that's right,

all right. Well, I'm ready.

I guess I deserve what I get.

You certainly do.

Beyond question.

Goodbye, Mama.

Who told you about it?

Well, I can put

two and two together.

What are you talking about?

Aren't you gonna

take me somewhere?

Not at all. We're going

to do it right here.

Oh, yeah?

Woodrow, there's something

rotten in this town.

I know it.

That's why we're here.

I know it, but I don't see why you

have to do it in front of my mother.

Then let's get down

to business.

The trouble with our party is

everybody talks too long all the time.

That's the trouble

with all parties.

Woodrow, there's something

rotten in this town.

You don't have to keep

rubbing it in. I'm ready.

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