Hail the Conquering Hero Page #9

been loyal to you all my life.

I... You know how I felt about

you. You broke off with me.

I would have waited for always. Even

so I asked my fianc's permission

to welcome you the way I thought

you'd like to be welcomed.

Although I may have been wrong,

I defended you all afternoon

and got fired for it by Mr. Noble... No.

...and almost broke off

my engagement with Forrest.

And you say I'm turning

against you. I'm sorry.

Well...

Will you cut that out?

No, I won't. You've caused

me enough trouble as it is

with everybody saying

I threw you over

while you were fighting

overseas to marry Forrest,

as if I'd do such a thing,

but I couldn't very well go around

wearing your letter in my hat

telling me you'd fallen in love with

somebody else, which is your perfect right.

And I'm deeply in love

with Forrest,

and you have to come back...

A heel.

A hero.

So, now they can say,

"You see?

"It served her right. She

got just what she deserved. "

Will you cut it out? I've got

enough trouble! You have trouble?

And how I have.

I should say so.

You can have any girl in town

you want, and you get a monument,

and they burned

your mother's mortgage,

and you're going to be mayor,

and I'm going to marry Forrest.

But you said

you loved him deeply.

Well, of course I do, but

what's that got to do with it?

Listen to them...

Oh...

...and down this zero goes 'cause

we want Woodrow for our mayor

Libby.

What?

You don't know

how well-off you are.

Oh, don't talk that way. You're

only going to make me feel worse.

If you knew what I heel I was,

you'd be very happy.

And I am very happy, and I know

exactly how much of a heel you are.

You do?

Anybody who could write

a letter like you wrote

six weeks after we parted,

like we parted,

you wouldn't have to tell me

any more about it.

You don't know anything.

Well, I don't want to know

anything about her.

Whether she's tall or short

or thin or fat or blonde,

I just hope she's awful!

No, I don't.

I hope she's beautiful and that

you have 10 children by her.

Is she?

If you only knew.

Well, I don't want to know.

Well, I guess you have to

start being grown-up sometime.

Might as well be now.

It's a beautiful night, isn't it? Great.

Are you worried

about something, Woodrow?

Who, me? How could I be?

Don't you want to be mayor?

Of course I want to be mayor.

I'd like to

have a million dollars, too.

Well, then, of course, I don't

know what it's like to be famous.

I suppose it even

has its drawbacks,

but I think you'd be so proud,

Woodrow, so satisfied.

I know I certainly am for you,

no matter how I talked out there.

I'm gonna be famous,

all right.

I was so proud even sitting

beside you this afternoon.

Do you remember when we used to

come here in the cool of the evening?

Naturally. I thought

maybe you'd forgotten.

So much can happen

in a year.

So much can happen in a day.

I suppose so.

Were you surprised when

they nominated you for mayor?

Surprised is not

the word for it.

Oh, excuse me.

That's all right.

Did you ever think of

me in Guadalcanal? No.

Oh, I guess that's a pretty

busy place. I guess so.

I thought of you

in other places, though.

Where?

Just other places.

I'm so glad. Even though

it can only be a memory now.

Do you remember when we cut

our initials in the tree?

Naturally.

They're still there.

Why wouldn't they be?

They'll always be there.

Unless something happens to

the tree. I'd never allow that.

You'd be better off to chop the

tree down and forget me for good.

That's why I'm so glad

you're gonna marry Forrest.

Why, it's such a load

off my mind.

There's no hope for Mom.

She'll just have to leave town,

but at least you can say

you suspected all along,

and that's why you broke off

with me and married Forrest,

who's all right

if you like people like that.

Then you won't

get hurt, see?

Because outside of Mom, you're the

only thing in the world I care for,

the only thing that matters.

Now that it's over, I want you

to know that that letter I wrote

was the hardest thing

I ever did in all my life.

I thought about you every night and

every morning and every afternoon.

Every girl I saw

reminded me of you,

and every flower,

I wanted to send to you.

That's why I'm so happy, see? Because

you've had such a narrow escape.

I think you're a little bit

feverish, dear...

Who, me? I'm just a little bit

phony, that's all. A little.

You, a phony?

That's right. You don't have to tell

anybody. They'll find out soon enough.

But I'm never gonna be mayor or

anything else, you understand?

I've never been in Guadalcanal.

I've never won any medals.

I've never even been in the Marine

Corps really, you understand?

Oh, you've had

a very hard day, dear.

Yes, but wait till

tomorrow comes.

I don't think

you're feeling very well.

Who, me? I never felt

better in my life,

except I never felt worse.

You'll be all right, dear.

I suppose you despise me now.

Despise you?

How can you despise

anybody you love,

even though you are engaged

to another man?

I'll love you as long as I live,

Woodrow, and you might as well know so now

while we still have a few

moments, a last few moments...

I don't think you understood what I

said. I'm a phony. I'm a faker. I'm...

You're just telling me that

to make me feel better.

I am not. I'm never

going to feel any better.

I'm just broken-hearted,

Woodrow. I...

Wait a minute, will you?

Libby, will you wait a minute?

Hey, here he is.

I almost thought you took

it on the lam for a minute.

Oh, excuse me. Sergeant,

will you tell Libby

I've never been in Guadalcanal or

anyplace else? That I'm just a phony?

Sure, he's never been

in Guadalcanal.

He's never been no place.

See?

None of us have.

We're all phonies, see?

Especially after a hard day,

only sometimes we're more

phony than others, you get me?

I understand. He ain't

running for mayor or nothing.

He just needs a good night's

sleep. What're you trying to pull?

A good night's rest instead of trying

to make a sucker out of the Marine Corps.

Get your arms away from me!

We all get it. You ought

to see me in a thunderstorm.

Good night, Woodrow.

Good night... No.

Come on, take him away.

No, Libby, wait a minute.

No, you're making a mistake.

We want Woodrow.

ALL:

We want Woodrow for our mayor

Win with Woodrow

Win with Woodrow

Of all the cheesy songs I ever heard,

that one certainly takes the cracker.

Down with Noble

Let's kick Evvy off his chair

Feel better?

No.

Why don't you

eat your dinner?

How can you think of food

at a moment like this?

You gotta live.

Oh, it would turn to Russian dressing

in my stomach. What did they say?

They say everything

looks great. They did?

For Woodrow.

Oh.

We want Woodrow for our Mayor

Win with Woodrow

Win with Woodrow

Don't chew with your mouth

open, do you mind?

I'm just a little bit

irritable. I don't blame you.

Well, are you going to

eat it, or aren't you?

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