Hall Pass Page #10

...I could help you cross that off.

To sleep with a married guy.

Ahem. What'd you say, the Indian Ocean?

- I don't wanna be a home wrecker, Rick.

- No, no, no.

That's what I'm saying. I've got a pass.

You could do this with a clear conscience.

I'm not trying to sell you on it.

Those are the facts of the situation.

it's getting a little loud in here. Is there

somewhere a bit more quiet we could go?

Coakley's game room upstairs.

it's soundless.

- it's like space.

- Leigh!

- Leigh.

- Oh, this f***ing guy.

Brent, what are you doing here?

The old dude invited me.

He invited the entire club.

You knew how important tonight was!

My whole family was there!

And they don't come to anything!

The f*** you looking at?

Everyone came tonight

and they stayed, except for you!

That's not respectful!

Okay, just calm down.

No! I would like to speak to you alone.

Alone.

I'll just be a second.

- Ahem. Uh, hey.

- Oh, hey.

Uh, sorry about being a little, you know,

quick on the trigger there. it's just, uh ....

You know, you're so hot

I couldn't help myself.

Oh ....

it's fine.

Is, uh, everything okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

Uh .... No, everything's not okay.

Um ....

Look, you're a great guy, Gerry.

But what just happened here ....

Yeah, that can never happen again.

Okay?

Ch.

I mean, I know it's kind of hard

to understand after ....

But, um, I really love my husband.

And in reality, you and me, here...

...this could never be more

than what it just was.

Yeah. I know that.

You do?

Well, yeah.

Yeah, no. I mean, jeez, um ....

Look, no offense or anything,

but let's face it. You're a lot older than me.

By

- No, I don't mean that in a bad way.

It's just, you know, I didn't think we were

gonna start dating or anything, you know?

Jeez, can you imagine, like,

the looks that we would get?

It'd be like Hugh Hefner

and his girlfriends.

- Ha, ha. You'd be Hef.

- Yeah, I got that.

- Yeah.

- Hmm. Huh.

Um, you know what? I gotta get going.

We have a--

We have a team meeting in like 20 minutes.

it's a tradition.

It'd probably be really uncool

if I didn't--

Yeah, you don't have to explain.

Okay.

Um, well, seriously, though,

thanks for everything.

- You're awesome at sex.

- Oh.

I'm sure there's an explanation

for why he hasn't slept in your bed.

You know,

maybe he took a trip somewhere.

No. He can't. He has two houses closing

escrow this week. He has to be in town.

Maybe he has been home, but he can't

stand sleeping in your bed without you...

...so he's been racking on the couch and,

you know...

...banging all the women there.

LAUGHS]

Here, open. Oh.

You--

- Not bad, huh?

- All right. Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.

Um, I wonder what's keeping Grace.

She went over there

to break the kid's heart.

The least she could do

is lend a sympathetic ear.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

I hope you don't mind

me tracking you down.

Paige told me where you were staying.

Please. No, not at all. No.

it's good to have company.

You've been very sweet to her.

Well, you know, she's a good kid. She's

a good kid and I do what I can for the kids.

She told me everything

and I have to admit, I was very impressed.

Hmm?

I mean, I know she came on to you twice,

and that both times you set her straight.

She came on to me?

Rick, enough with the chivalry.

I mean, come on. Paige has a crush on

you and you didn't take advantage of her.

I'm just saying, that is very cool.

Especially since you have

your wife's permission now.

Yeah.

I like that, Rick.

You have morals.

Yeah.

Well, all you have in this world

is your word.

Mm.

Quiet little voices

Creep into my head

I'm young again

I'm young again, I'm young again

I'm young again

Quiet little monsters

Creep inside my bedroom well

I 'll fall for you, I 'll fall for you

I 'll fall for you

Quiet words of wisdom

Creep into your victim 's ears

I'll die for you, I'll die for you

I 'll die for you

- I love that picture.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Yeah. That was a great day, man.

- It was.

Everybody had a great time

at that wedding.

I mean everybody.

You know, I went balls deep

in one of the bridesmaids.

Yeah, I remember.

She was a really pretty girl

with these big old floppy tits. Boom.

Hello? Bluh. Ha, ha.

You-- What was her name, man?

- Jenny. Yeah.

- Jenny.

My sister, Jenny.

Nice girl. Really sweet.

- And how's she doing?

- Good.

Oh, great, man, great.

- Still married.

- Oh, is she? Great. I'm glad it worked out.

Seemed like they were having problems,

you know?

- Hey.

- Hey.

There you are.

Uh, yeah.

I was thinking that you were gone.

No. I told you,

I just had to talk him off the ledge.

I sent him home. He's fine now.

- Ha, ha.

- You picked somewhere nice and quiet.

Yeah. Yeah, it is, uh, quiet in here.

You know, in fact, it's so quiet

I kind of just-- I kind of hit a wall.

Yeah, I was-- I'm gonna split.

Really? Are you--? You okay?

Yeah. No, I feel good.

I got a little tickle in my ear that I get

in the summer from mold spores that--

You gotta be careful because they'll come

into your throat. But no, no, I got ....

I have commitments.

Wow.

Hey, relax.

Try not to think so much.

You have your wife

for the rest of your life.

Tonight, you can have me.

So I drink again

Oh, oh

And I play the game

Oh, oh

Like I did yesterday

Uh, you know what? I'm sorry.

I can't do this. I can't do this, I'm sorry.

Your wife didn't give you

a permission slip, did she?

No, no, she did.

Look, you are insanely beautiful

and sexy...

...and every cell in my body

is angry at me right now.

I've got, like, a mutiny on my hands.

I feel like I'm vibrating. Like ....

But you see this area?

This spot right here.

The first time I ever slept with Maggie back

in college, she fell asleep right here...

...and she left, like,

a little pool of drool...

...but it didn't really bother me.

it actually felt good.

And I thought, "l wanna marry this girl."

And then I did.

It was, like, a long shot.

And miraculously, it came through.

And then we had kids.

Emma, Gunnar and Mac.

And that's their spot. When they're

brand-new they'd sleep right here.

When it'd be 4 in the morning

you'd be holding their head...

...because their little necks don't have--

They're just kind of like--

And it's where we first

got to know each other.

And it doesn't matter

how beautiful you are ....

I gotta go home.

I wanna go home.

Well, uh, you definitely have

a screw loose.

And you're probably going to regret this

for the rest of your life...

...but, uh, you know what?

You're a good guy.

Um, do you need a ride home?

No. it's only 2:
30.

I'm gonna go back in the party.

Okay.

Peace it.

R-O-C-K in the U.S.A.

LAUGHS]

Hello?

Hello?

- ls this Fred Searing?

- No.

This is Trooper Frioli

of the Massachusetts State Police.

No, it's a friend of his. I just picked

up his phone. Is everything okay?

Yes, Rick. More tongue.

Oh, God.

Oh, yeah.

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