Hall Pass Page #9

- Whoo! Mm.

- The spirits doth floweth.

- Aah!

- Yeah! Ha, ha.

That girl over there is looking at you.

Which one? What? The one that looks

like Chief from Cuckoo's Nest?

No, no, man. The one sitting next to her.

Oh, yeah.

She's very vulnerable.

She just quit cigarettes.

How do you know?

Because she can't take her eyes

off the smokers over there.

How do you know

those aren't her friends?

- Come on, Coakley, give me a break.

- Well, that might be plausible...

...if her lips weren't shaking...

...and her fingernails weren't chewed

down to the nub.

And that bag, man.

That's a little big to be bringing into a club.

Unless she needs room

for a $5 foot-long.

- So you got a woman who quit smoking.

- Right.

She's tense, she's hungry.

And it all adds up to what?

That woman needs something

in her mouth.

Aah, that's my boy! Let's go!

- Now?

- Right now, man. The universe is calling.

- I don't know if we need to go now.

- Come on.

Walking on a dream

How can I explain?

Talking to myself

Will I see again?

We are always running for the thrill of it

Thrill of it

Always pushing up the hill

Searching for the thrill of it

On and on and on

We are calling out

How late's this b*tch

staying open tonight?

Ick.

Is it real now

When two people become one?

I can feel it

When two people become one

ls it real now

When two people become one?

I can feel it

Hey, girl.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

Just chilling.

Yeah, me too.

Just chilling and wiggling.

What happened to you yesterday?

Thought we were gonna get a beer.

Yeah. Uh ....

I got caught up in my reps and my curls

and sh*t and just lost track of time.

So is this, like, your playground?

It seems like great energy in here.

No, I've actually never been here before.

A friend of mine's DJ'ing,

so I promised him I'd come.

Calling out and out again

Never looking down

So is this guy like your boyfriend

or something?

No, no,no.

Well, we messed around once,

but just a little.

And by a little you mean--?

Anal.

Okay. Yeah.

I'm joking.

- Oh. Ha, ha.

- Ha, ha.

He kissed me one night. Kissed him back.

It was a big mistake.

So, what's with the ring?

Yeah, I--

You ever heard of a hall pass?

All right, it's about time I take

the governor off this beyotch!

It was those tall skinny guys

and they were all over my yard.

But here's the weird thing.

I wasn't even afraid of them at all.

And when they asked me if I wanted to go

with them, I said, "Sure."

And I walked right in.

Oh, my God. You are so brave.

I would never climb

into one of those things.

Fred, would you ever just walk into a UFO

on your own?

I would if one came right now, sure.

Wow, so you're married?

Yeah. It wasn't like I was trying to hide it.

I mean, you know.

No, I just thought your wife might've died

and you're wearing it out of respect.

Oh, no. No, she's still hanging in there.

Hey, you okay?

You keep checking your pulse.

Yeah. I just-- I got a little chest cramp,

but I'm working through it.

Ouch.

- Yeah.

- Heartburn?

No, it feels more like

excessive plaque build-up in the arteries.

Hi, Maggie. This is Isabel.

I went to clean the house today,

but nobody has been there...

...or slept in any of the beds this week...

...so I just cleaned the windows

and left early.

I hope you don't mind. Bye.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I thought you might wanna help me

celebrate the end of the season.

Oh, um ....

Uh, brought some good late-night eats.

Yeah. Yeah, come on in.

- Come on. You gotta go.

- No.

Come on. Can I go?

LAUGHS]

What are you doing, man? Come on.

You found your dream girl, now take her

back to the hotel and take care of business.

We don't have much in common.

I can't even talk to her.

Talk to her? Fred, now what do you want,

a pen pal or a poon pal?

I only got one shot at this, all right?

I think I can do better.

Every loser in Vegas

thinks they can do better.

You know what winners do? They walk

away from the table while they're up.

Licky like a sexy ear

Lick here

L-l licky C-K licky Y licky C-K licky Y

Why? Because I am a /icky-/icky guy

Yeah!

I licky /-C /icky K-Y

I'm just a /icky girl

How do I know

if she'll come home with me?

Oh, she'll Come home with you.

She's wearing a thong, man.

How do you know that?

I did a crawl-by.

Coakley.

Licky my sticky

F*** it. Okay, here.

Give those to Rick.

I'm gonna take a cab back to the hotel. Oh.

- Freddie.

- What?

It has been an honor

to watch you grow up.

All right.

Licky like a tangerine

Thirteen hundred dollars?

For two bottles of booze?

Guys, it was an accident.

I'm not paying that.

- Yes, you are.

- No, l-- Look, how about--

How about I replace them.

First thing tomorrow morning...

...I bring you four new bottles.

Not two, four...

...and a couple of breakfast burritos

for the big dog here. That's a good deal.

- How about you pay now.

- No. Guys ....

We're taking the party back to my house.

Bring a girl or don't come, man.

What?

Okay, now don't even think

about putting e tip on there.

Hey. There's my girl.

Come on in.

I'm just mixing up some margaritas.

We lost our final game today,

but I went yard.

Oh, that's good.

So, um, where is everybody?

They all went out to some party.

Come on in.

Gerry, I can't stay.

What?

Is everything okay?

Yeah. No, everything's fine.

Look, um, I really can't accept this.

Why not?

Because I'm a married woman, Gerry,

you know that.

Oh. Um ....

Look, I'm really sorry if I made you

feel uncomfortable, Grace.

It's just...

...I really like you.

I like you too, Gerry.

And, no, you didn't make me feel

uncomfortable.

The mystery zone

All right

Wait, are you serious?

You might have appendicitis?

My stomach's rumbling

and I'm having these shooting pains.

I should take you to the hospital.

No, I'll be all right.

it's probably just this stupid patch.

I mean, I quit smoking and--

It's just-- I think I'm allergic to it,

and it makes me all queasy and--

- Oh.

- Plus, I had a bunch of drinks at the club.

Well, are you gonna throw up?

Oh. No, I can't.

Ooh, here. Here. Here.

Just take this just in case.

No, I'm one of those people

who can never throw up.

I wish I could throw up.

I know it would help.

Oh. Wow.

You know what?

I think I feel a little better.

That sneeze helped.

Take her wherever she wants to go.

Here you are.

But I never got your number!

- Can I help you?

- You must be Rick.

Go on.

Hi, my name's Meg. Paige's aunt.

I guess I still have a lot

to get out of my system...

...before I do the whole marriage trip,

you know?

I'm one of those people that wants to try

everything once.

And the good things twice.

Oh, like swim with the dolphins.

- Yeah. I'd love to meet the Dalai Lama.

- Mm. Sure.

- Bungee jump.

- Oh, I've already done that.

- Skydiving.

- Skinny-dip in the Indian Ocean.

- Sleep with a married guy. Ha, ha.

- Ha, ha.

I just mean if that was

one of the things on the old bucket list...

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