Halloweed Page #8

to bring attention to the

string of murders that have

hit our quirky little town.

Thankfully, the police,

they do have a key suspect.

Now we cannot say the name

of this person at this

time though I will

tell you right now.

He is the son of the

Bridgeport Butcher.

He recently moved

to Mooseheart.

They also found candy corn

at the scene of the murder.

Yes.

Uh, questions.

I didn't say anything.

What he asked was, will we

still have the Halloween

party at city hall?

Well, of course it will.

My goodness, the

Mooseheart Halloween Bash,

well it is the stuff of legends,

I think we can all say that.

Nobody celebrates

Halloween like we do.

[laughs]

Pictures?

Tootie, take a picture.

You know some people, they say

that our little town is haunted.

And that is has been since

1984 and the candy corn murders.

Murders, which by the way,

have never been solved.

Is it the same person?

Well tune in to

find out Mooseheart.

I'm out.

[cat meowing]

Hey, Gary!

[commotion]

Holy sh*t!

[grunting]

Gary!

Look, I'm gonna call the...

coroner.

Sh*t, man.

I knew it.

Have a happy and

safe Halloween.

[evil laugh]

[doorbell rings]

Let's get back to

some spooky tunes.

The happy Halloween

girls are here.

What the hell are you

doing here, Trent?

Whoa.

No, no, you know what?

You need to leave.

I know who the killer is.

Who?

That tiny little toothpick

killed all those people. Really?

Connor.

I found it at the

scene of Gary's murder.

Oh, and um...

Gary's dead.

Has Connor been here?

What, no!

Connor is... It's

Halloween night.

He's at his daddy's Halloween

bash handling his work.

Wait, I'm sorry.

Gary's dead?

Yeah, yeah,

sorry about that.

And uh, Patch, too.

And your friend, Britney.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait, who is Patch?

Slimy, druglord that owned

that little makeshift

pumpkin patch thing on

the side of the garage.

Oh! God, that's so sad.

Yeah, yeah, he was

a really nice guy.

Anyway, I'm gonna go find

Connor and I'm gonna stop him.

Okay, well then, I'm

gonna come with you.

Are you seriously gonna play

the clich hero guy right now?

Especially dressed in your

little tight, tight pants?

Okay, fine, you can come.

Let's go.

[rock music]

d

F***, that was so crazy, dude.

Holy sh*t, I've never done

anything f***ing like that--

Dude, we should've brought

f***ing Spanky with us.

What made you think we

should expand, dude?

Mooseheart's not

good enough for you?

Because we didn't need

f***ing Spanky for this one.

You know he doesn't see our

vision and I told you, alright?

Now that Patch is out of

the picture, we need to

send a message that

we're running this sh*t.

Remember, he who has

the weed has the power.

So we need all the

f***ing weed, bro!

Dude, but you could've

atleast warned me that

we're gonna double cross

those two mother f***ers.

You know what?

You got a bad poker face.

You remember the other night

when we were playing poker.

-Yes.

-You were f***ing terrible.

Dude, it's not

the same thing.

Why are you being a

little b*tch, dude?

We got the drugs

and the money.

Alright, dude. You are losing

your f***ing mind, alright?

F***ing, dude... this

isn't how we do business.

You know what? I don't like

your tone with me lately.

You've been acting

like a little--

[police sirens]

Oh sh*t!

Dude, the f***ing

cops, dude!

-Yeah!

-Dude, hide that sh*t.

Put the f***ing gun away.

-Dude, no way.

-Put it away.

I know how this sh*t goes

down, man, and I'm not

going back to prison, bro.

You've been to prison.

Oh, we gotta talk more.

Is it true what they say in the

showers with the other men

or is that just in the

movies? I just gotta know.

Dude, that sh*t

does not go down.

But I'm not letting that sh*t

happen to me again, bro.

Alright, dude, just trust me.

Just put the sh*t away

and do as I say, alright?

I got this covered.

-I got it covered!

-How? How?

Just get your cellphone

out, trust me.

Get your phone out.

Get it on f***ing

camera mode.

Oh sh*t.

Cover this sh*t.

Cover the f***ing sh*t, dude.

[dramatic music]

Okay, sir, I'm gonna

need you to--

Hey, hey, hey!

I'm just exercising

my rights, officer.

-This is completely legal.

-Y'all have a good night.

That's right.

That's what you get

for taking my weed.

[dramatic music]

d

-What's today?

-Halloween, dude.

Oh sh*t. Go to the bash,

go to the bash!

-The bash, the bash!

-Oh sh*t.

Okay, okay.

Just go straight.

F***.

d Take me by the hand,

I'll show you wonderland d

d The trees of gold

and violet skies d

d With ghouls and

pretty faces d

d All the wrong places

d Sour diesel cherry pie

d So shake it up now

d We got that loud now

Well, nothing like a

serial killer on the loose

to dampen spirits.

Brenda, where's Connor?

Oh, he's on the step with

his dad taking photos,

but I have to warn you,

this party sucks.

Cool costume.

Who are you

supposed to be?

Britney.

Huh, I like that one.

Here, come on.

We gotta go.

[police sirens]

Oh, perfect.

The cops are here.

Get your asses over there.

Arrest him.

Connor Price.

He's the one that

killed those people.

Mr. Mayor, sir...

How would you like

to handle this?

I want you to arrest them

and I want you to tase them.

Oh. F*** that.

[upbeat music]

d

[taser gun]

Madison!

Madison, are you okay?

[yelling]

Let's go and get

'em in the car.

[laughs]

That's gotta hurt.

Okay, well look, I'm

gonna go to my office.

Perhaps you should

do the same.

We have a lot of work to

do and this party sucks.

Of course, dad.

You better realize...

You see all this?

Okay, and I'm not talking

about this shithole Mooseheart.

This United States of America

will be yours, Connor, one day.

These are important times.

You got, you got that?

-This is nothing but flab!

-I'm stressed.

Do some pushups,

you lazy a**hole!

Look what I've done

to stay together.

[dramatic music]

d

[laughing]

Trick or treat!

How about both, huh?

[laughing]

Here you go.

How's about a

chocolate for you two?

How about a sucker?

[screams]

Hey, hey!

Where's Trent?

Hey, nice outfit.

Oh, thank you.

Cops, got him.

They think he's the

candy corn killer.

Oh sh*t!

We need your help, man.

Yeah, probably not a bad

idea to get out of here.

I got an idea, come on!

This way.

These people crazy.

Absolutely nuts.

Well, you know, I've seen

a lot in my day and I

haven't told you the half.

I bet you haven't.

-You okay?

-No.

I don't like it in there.

It hurts bad.

What?

What, what?

Nothing.

Huh?

How are we gonna

get out of here now?

Don't worry, I got this.

Watch.

[grunting]

Really?

That's what you got?

Any second now.

Seriously, stop

it, stop it!

Hey, hey, hey!

Knock it off back there.

Officers, you have

the wrong person.

Connor Price,

he's the murderer.

Do the right thing and

arrest that douchebag.

What is this?

Freak show pushing a cart.

What the hell?

Oh, I bet he got some

wild stuff in there.

[exhales]

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