Halloween II Page #5

- Chett, the bringer of...

- The bringer of...

...death. Oh, man,

that is so awesome.

- There.

- Thanks. I wanted to let you know...

...that Michael is so much

deeper than those other guys.

Like Dahmer and that b*tch Bundy...

...because he eats at the core

of the victim's soul, you know?

- How people ostracize those-

- All right. Well, thanks so much.

- You're the man.

- You're the man!

- You're the man, dude.

- Thank you.

- You're awesome. Thank you.

- Thank you.

Jesus. Well, we always have one,

don't we?

Hi. How are you?

Do you want me to sign this?

What?

You don't recognize her?

- Why? Should I?

- I'm not surprised.

Take a really good look at her.

- Oh, she's beautiful.

- She was beautiful.

This is my daughter.

Lynda.

- Your monster killed her.

- Whoa, whoa, wait.

- He butchered her.

- You have my deepest sympathy.

Do I have your deepest sympathy,

you f***ing pig?

- I'm truly sorry.

- You killer.

- No, I didn't kill anyone.

- You killer!

All right, just calm down.

It's all right.

You butchered my baby. Back up!

You butchered my baby!

- Can we get somebody-?

- I'm gonna get you, Loomis.

Get your hands off me.

Get your goddamn hands off me!

It's all right. Everyone,

just calm down. Calm down.

- All right, I'm fine.

- Everything's under control.

- Son of a b*tch!

- He's got a gun!

- I'm gonna kill you, Loomis!

- Jesus.

I'm gonna kill you, goddamn it!

I mean, the police said

that it wasn't even loaded, so-

Oh, I feel so much better.

All part of the job, I suppose.

Spoon-feeding drivel

to the masses.

Comes with its own bloody price,

doesn't it?

If you say so.

Just what is that tone,

Miss McDonald?

Do you think I'm crossing the line

or something?

I mean, do please feel free

to voice your opinion.

Well, off the record, yes.

Yes, actually, I think this book

crosses quite a few lines.

These are people's lives

you're toying with.

There's gonna be

serious repercussions.

F***.

F***!

F***! F***!

F*** you, motherf***er!

F***!

F***!

F***er!

Laurie?

Hey. Hey!

What is-?

Hey, where are you going?

I'm getting the f*** out of here.

Wait, hey! Listen, my dad called.

He was trying to find you.

Yeah, I bet he was.

Tell me you didn't know, please!

- Tell me you didn't know.

- Know what?

F*** it. I mean, daddy's

little princess knows all, right?

What are you talking about?

Hey, stop. Calm down. Look at me.

What is going on?

Let me just call my dad, okay?

We can talk to him.

You know what?

I have a message for your dad.

Tell him that Angel says

"f*** you"!

Who is Angel? Laurie!

Hey, f***ing a**hole!

F*** you!

Hey, sweetie, did you find her?

Yes. She ran in and she ran out

screaming some sh*t about:

"Tell your dad that Angel

says 'f*** you. "'

Who the f*** is Angel?

F***, f***, f***.

I want you to head to my house

and keep an eye on Annie for me.

Oh, boss, last year she tried

to kick me in the nuts.

You know she's not gonna like this.

Don't care what she likes.

Now head over to my place

and if she kicks you out...

...you just sit outside with a shotgun

on your lap...

...like you did last year, all right?

- Yes.

Look, can I crash here tonight,

please?

Yeah, okay.

What's up?

Look, I just found

something out that's kind of...

...freaking me the f*** out.

Okay. What is it?

I went into this bookstore...

...and I got this book and...

...inside there's a bunch of pictures-

- Check me out, man.

F***ing sick, huh?

I'm a chick dressing up as a dude

who wants to be a chick.

- Shut up.

- What? Who died?

Sh*t, baby,

did somebody really die?

I'm not me.

I'm not me. Do you understand

what the f*** I'm saying?

Not really.

Who are you then?

I'm Angel Myers.

Michael Myers'sister.

All right, even I wouldn't

f***ing touch that joke.

You can't kid around about that sh*t.

- You're such a good little actress-

- I am not f***ing joking!

All right, if you f***ing think I'm lying,

look at this.

All right? Look.

There's me, Angel Myers.

And here's my f***ed-up life.

F***.

Maybe it's a mistake.

Holy sh*t, dude.

This is f***ing insane.

Our neXt guest gained infamy

as a psychologist...

...for America's leading serial killer.

"Leading serial killer"?

The most notorious.

"Leading"?

He's number one in his field.

Anyway, his new book is called

The Devil Walks Among Us...

...is available somewhere.

Welcome Dr. Samuel Loomis.

- Dr. Loomis.

- Hi, David. How are you?

- Have a seat.

- Hi, everyone.

Thank you. Thank you. Very nice.

- Mr. Weird, how are you?

- Al's good.

Great.

Now, you've been criticized

and in some circles...

...outright accused of profiteering

off the misery of others.

I mean, how do you even

respond to that criticism?

Well, you know, I think that's

completely unfounded.

I always get permission

when I do the parody.

No, Al, I was talking to Loomis.

Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.

No, no, no, please.

It was fascinating, your answer.

- Your turn. I'm done.

- If you've got something...

Actually, I take great issue

with that statement.

Besides, I might say that I've endured

quite a lot of misery of my own...

...in order to tell this story.

Yeah, everyone feels

real bad for you eXcept-

I have never ever been

so humiliated in all my life!

- You were fantastic. Trust me.

- Nonsense!

- Good night. Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Trick or treat.

- Here you go.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Are you a giant?

Can we be friends?

Mark, come on.

Don't talk to strangers.

Bye.

/ wanna party. /'ve spent

my whole f***ing life being good...

... and look where it's gotten me.

F***ing nowhere.

F*** it, you guys.

Are you guys with me or not?

I just- I think that

we should stay back.

I mean, what you need

is a mellow night.

- No, I don't.

- Yeah, definitely. We can just...

...watch TV or something.

Yeah, like, order some food...

...and figure all this sh*t out.

I want...

...to go party!

I wanna f***ing get drunk.

I don't f***ing care anymore.

I want to f***ing party!

- I wanna party.

- Well, you know me. I'm totally in.

Come on, she wants to party.

- Please?

- Oh, please?

Come on. Come on, boo-boo,

please?

All right, all right, all right. Fine.

- Has to be a chill night, though.

- Okay, a chill night.

What the f***? Andy, are you seriously

planning on standing here all night?

- This is ridiculous.

- Hey, I just do what the boss tells me.

Well, I'm the boss of the boss...

...and I say move your shitboX

over there, Kojak. Okay?

Don't make a federal case out of it.

Turn off the damn gumballs.

I'll do what I gotta do.

What the f*** are you

gonna do, jackhole?

- You'll find out.

- I'll find out?

I'm shaking in my boots.

Okay, why don't we get back

to the music.

I get another drink.

Good idea, huh?

Let's go. Captain Clegg

and the Night Creatures.

Yeah!

- Do you like my outfit?

- I do, I do.

What are you supposed to be?

A seXy vampire?

I'm a chick who's dressing up

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