Handsome: A Netflix Mystery Movie Page #4

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- Well, that was all postmortem.

But what's most notable about the job is,

whoever did it was very, very sloppy.

Just jabbing here and there

till the limb come off.

Jabbing. Lil' jab'll do ya.

- Get the f*** on out of here.

- Okay.

Cell phone records, bam.

Okay, so, uh, most of these calls

are to be expected, right?

We got the job, roommate, parents,

pot dealer, p*ssy waxer.

But then there's a number that repeats.

Traces to an office landline registered

to an executive.

Lloyd Vanderwheel. He's in fireworks.

- Well-

- Handsome!

- Oh, sh*t.

- We need to talk now!

Mmm.

- Meet you in the car?

- Yeah. See you there.

So, how'd you like the cookies?

Um...

They were great. Amazing.

- Ah, really?

- Yeah.

Because truth be told,

they weren't leftovers.

I made that batch just for you.

I just want you to know that I'm here.

At the station. At your house.

Not my house. I have a family visiting

from Caracas. They're very nice.

I just don't know how they feel

about the sound of gentle lovemaking.

Or raunchy lovemaking.

Whatever. Just sounds in general.

Why did I come here to see you?

That's right.

The retirement papers. Sign 'em, Handsome.

You're not fooling anybody.

And by the way, my tubes are tied.

You gotta fix this door.

Yeah, I will.

It's a booming, sparkling morning.

Can I help you?

Yes. Detectives Handsome and Scozzari

of the LAPD.

Uh, we're here

to see one Mr. Lloyd Vanderwheel.

One moment, please. Mr. Vander...

Oh, shoot. My finger slipped.

- Mr. Vander... Oh, shoot.

- Uh, yes, Sky. What's going on?

I'm sorry.

I got excited

and I pushed the button too soon,

Mr. Vanderwheel.

- Sky, don't push the button.

- Oh, God! Go ahead. No, I...

Sky? Sky?

Hey, uh, forget about the intercom.

These detectives are here to see you.

So, uh, what's this all about?

- Do the thing.

- Yeah.

Mmm-hmm.

What...

What was that for?

Oh. Oh, this? Don't worry about it.

You look great in this shot.

Ah, then again, bet you've never taken

a shitty photo in your life, huh?

Is this about...

...the Lancaster Jazz

and Heritage Festival?

Did we go too big? Uh...

I just got caught up with, uh...

So clearly, you're familiar

with Heather Dromgoole.

- Heather?

- You were seeing her romantically?

No. No, no, no, no, no. She's...

she's an old family friend from back east.

The kid of my parents' friends.

Uh, she moved out here recently

and, um, I was helping her get set up.

Oh.

So you guys aren't a thing?

- No, I'm... I'm single.

- Oh.

- So you're single?

- Yeah. I'm single.

- He's single.

- I was asking!

Okay, she'd be calling you regularly for?

Just to get advice. Check in.

She got real lonely in LA, as one does.

I think she looked to me

like a bit of a father figure.

- Oh, yeah, Daddy?

- Yeah. That's right.

So why you asking all these questions

about Heather? Did she get arrested?

Why would you say that?

Uh, maybe blackmail.

I know she had a...

a bit of a blackmail incident

with her high school English teacher.

You know, I had a, uh, black male incident

with my sexy-ass

black high school English teacher, too.

Heather was the victim of a murder

on Thursday night.

Oh, my God! Uh...

I'm sorry.

What? I... This...

I can't believe this. Wow.

I mean...

I can't believe this,

but I can believe this.

- Excuse me?

- Huh?

You know, some people, you can't

imagine anyone wanting to murder.

But Heather?

You know?

But still, it's devastating.

Jesus. God. Jesus.

Any ideas of who would be upset with her?

Uh, no. No one comes to mind.

Wow.

Mr. Vander...

Oh.

I'm... I'm sorry.

My one o'clock is here.

Um, but, hey, let me give you my card.

And, uh, you guys can give me a call

if you have any, uh, more questions.

- Who's that?

- Oh, that's, uh... It's my kid, Carys.

She's the biggest sweetheart.

Anyway, here.

Yeah, just give me a call, uh, if you have

any names you wanna run by me

and I'll help however I can.

I... aim to please.

Oh, give me a f***in' break.

I'm not buying

the whole father-figure thing.

- Thank you very much.

- Sure. Have an explosive day.

I mean, who calls

their fake dad that much?

Yeah, yeah, it's very suspicious.

You know, I just, uh...

I realized I gotta go

to the bathroom, like, bad.

- It's okay, I'll wait.

- No, you know what?

Could take a while,

so why don't you just go ahead,

and, uh, I'll take a cab

back to the station.

That's okay.

It's gonna be that long of a trip?

Yeah, uh...

- Okay, I'll just sit and meditate.

- Nah. Nah, nah, nah. You know, you go on.

I mean, like the lady said,

it's gonna be an explosive day, right?

- Interesting.

- What? What?

- Hi there.

- Why are you talking to me?

Ooh, the detective.

Just busy detecting, aren't you?

I'm Charles, Carys' friend.

We met while making fun

of the mailman's calves.

Hi, Charles, nice to meet you.

Carys, could you tell your mother

that Detective Handsome's here to see her?

Oh, we're off to check out a four-bed,

three-bath open house. So...

Oh, hi, Gene. Come on in.

Hi, um, I was driving home from work,

and I thought of something I wanted

to ask you.

- Are you hungry? Do you want some pasta?

- No, I'm good. I'm good.

Were you aware

that your ex-husband knew Heather?

- What? Lloyd was f***ing Heather?

- Well, he says that he wasn't.

Oh! You know what?

I bet he got off on the fact

- that he was f***ing my babysitter.

- So you definitely didn't know?

He would f*** my gardener

just to rattle me,

'cause that's just

the kind of guy that he is.

- Knock, knock.

- Oh, hey, neighbor.

Hey.

Aroma of the forest floor.

Full-bodied. Jammy finish.

- That's what's in store for you tonight.

- Wow, thank you.

- "Wow" is right.

- You two know each other? Yeah?

- Devon.

- Uh...

Yeah, we do. Handsome here has broken up

quite a few of my house parties.

I affectionately like to call him

Detective Buzzkill.

I wouldn't call four strippers playing

with your dreidel collection

a house party.

Sounds fun. Devon and I met when I was

watering the flowers in this very window.

Mmm-hmm. And I was staring

into her house over the fence.

- And then he waved at me.

- Oh...

- I'm a waver.

- Mmm-hmm.

Then we locked eyes

and there's a moment where we were like,

"We should probably have dinner together. "

And we're about to do that.

Cool, cool.

Oh, Esta.

Put that accordion on my abs.

And, uh... a, uh, double cheeseburger.

Okay, and would you like to

make that a meal?

You know what? Give me

the single cheeseburger on its own

and make

the double cheeseburger a meal. Yes.

Okay, and what beverage

would you like with your meal?

You know what? F*** it.

- Chocolate milkshake.

- Okay.

I'm sorry, I know you guys

are church kids. Excuse the salty talk.

It's okay. Satan gets all of us sometimes.

Yeah. You know, tonight's the last night

I'm gonna eat this crap.

I mean, no offense to Norm's Burger.

I don't mean that your food's crap.

It's just...

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