Handsome: A Netflix Mystery Movie Page #3

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Did you overhear everything that happened?

Mmm-hmm.

The angels came

and took Miss Heather to hell.

Hmm.

I don't know

where she gets that stuff.

- Kids.

- Oh, sh*t!

I'm so late for work

and I'm out of sick days.

- What time do you work till?

- One o'clock. Fridays are my half-day.

I'll watch her.

- Wait, are you serious?

- I'm totally serious.

I've got some questions to ask you.

Uh, we can get back to that

as soon as you come back.

- Great. Thank you so much.

- Yeah. Sure.

- That's great. You're fine.

- Yeah. Yeah.

You're great. Yeah. Okay. Good? Okay.

How about that?

Who wouldn't want a real detective

as their babysitter?

Guess you. You're the one who doesn't.

I'm really good at dancing.

You're gonna love the show

that I have planned for you.

Very exciting. I love the arts.

I'm a patron.

Of the arts.

- Take a seat on the couch.

- All right.

Get a load of me

Get a load of you

Walking down the street

And I hardly know you

It's just like we were meant to be

Holding hands with you

When we're out at night

Got a girlfriend

You say it isn't right

It isn't right

And I've got someone...

- When does it start?

- This is the pre-entertainment.

It's important to set a tone

for the audience.

And for the record,

you can't be talking to me.

Whenever I think about you

Why can't I speak

Whenever I talk about-

Hi.

- How's Carys?

- A delight.

- Really?

- She's a great kid. Yes.

- Oh, good. Great.

- Yeah.

- Is, uh, now a good time?

- Yeah. Sure. Uh-huh.

- All right. How was your day?

- Ugh, it was disgusting.

I hate teeth.

I am so sick

of looking into people's mouths.

I have this recurring nightmare where

instead of all of my teeth falling out,

I get more of them.

Just, like, more and more and more.

I get teeth fingernails

and teeth toenails.

My belly button even sprouts a tooth.

It's disgusting.

Have you thought of getting out

of the dental industry?

Yeah. Teeth are vile.

You know, both of our jobs,

we see the worst of people.

That's so true.

- Heather, your babysitter.

- Yeah.

Did she have any romantic interests?

Oh... Um, not that I'm aware of.

You know, she did mention an ex-boyfriend,

but he's back east and he's married now.

- I didn't get the sense that they talk.

- Okay, do you have any info on him?

Uh, no, just that he's married.

- That's it.

- Okay.

Um, was anybody giving her any trouble?

Did she, um, uh, have any issues

she was dealing with?

Well, I... I mentioned the, like,

klepto shenanigans.

- Mmm-hmm.

- Um...

Well, I know she had

a hard time paying bills,

- but that's pretty standard, right?

- Mmm-hmm.

I mean... so do I.

You know,

the rent on this place is ridiculous,

but we have to have a yard, so...

You know what? She did actually tell me

that sometimes when she would go out,

she would get into these, like, bar fights

with other girls when she got drunk.

About what?

Well, one time, I know it was because

she made fun of a girl's highlights.

Apparently, Heather told her she looked

like a bale of hay from Temecula.

- That's a very specific insult.

- That is why it stuck with me.

Mmm. Did she live alone?

Oh, no, there's a roommate, Amanda.

Here, give me your pad.

Uh, Amanda would probably know more of,

like, the personal crap about Heather.

Most of the time, we just talked about

what she gave Carys for dinner.

- That's the address.

- You don't dot your I's.

Who needs 'em?

- Heather lived here in the living room?

- Yeah.

This is all of her sh*t.

Um, listen, I have a guy

from Tinder jogging over,

so is there any way

you could come back later?

Forgive me,

but for someone whose roommate just died,

you don't seem very upset.

Oh, no, I'm really sad.

But also, I want this place

to just go back

to being a normal one-bedroom,

because this is a really awkward setup.

You two didn't get along?

No, I mean, she was fine.

Like, if you had your period

and were lying down and complaining...

But, like, she could also be really rude.

What, like making fun of your highlights?

I haven't had highlights since 2014, so...

I'm not keeping track. It's all good.

- What is this used for?

- I don't know.

Uh... She was actually, like,

a very problematic roommate.

Like, I have my childhood

gymnastics trophies.

I keep them on my headboard.

She thought that was dumb.

So then when I went to the bathroom,

she called me Mary Lou Rectum.

Oh, and then one time, she told me

to tell my tits they could come out

now that my gymnastics career was over.

- She date anybody?

- Heather likes old dudes.

There was one guy she was meeting up with.

I think he was in his forties.

Old dude. Yeah,

what do you know about him?

Nothing. Uh, he didn't stay over.

He didn't spend the night.

I do not think he wanted

to be seen in public with her.

- Why's that?

- Well, that's usually really good sex.

When someone hates themself

for stooping to f*** you, you know?

No, uh, uh, I don't. I have no idea.

- Also he bought her a lot of finery.

- Finery? What's finery?

You know, luxury clothing

for a modern woman.

Oh.

"Silky Lamb. "

Is that like a lotion version of finery?

No, I just told you.

Finery is luxury clothing

for a modern woman.

Listen, my booty call's

about to be here any second,

and he's my favorite match on Tinder,

so I can't have you f***ing this up.

- Okay, thank you for being so patient.

- You're welcome. Goodbye!

Lester! Welcome back, my friend.

How was your vacation?

Had a mind to stay in Tahiti longer,

but all these bodies thought different.

Pretty gruesome. What do you think?

Well, something very interesting's

going on. Come on over here.

- You see this sheen coming off her skin?

- I do.

Can you discern that

this woman is unusually greasy?

- She is.

- She is very well creamed.

- This here's a very well-creamed body.

- She seems unusually greasy.

- You don't see this often.

- That makes sense.

I was just at her apartment.

She had an extremely nice jar of lotion.

Are you sure that jar you saw

said "lotion"?

When I see the word "lotion,"

I don't forget.

No, no, no, no, no.

This here's not lotion. This here's cream.

- Well, what's the difference?

- You don't know?

- I don't know.

- Well, lotion's water-based.

You apply it liberally all over your body.

But cream is oil-based.

You got to be careful with cream.

Lil' dab'll do ya.

Um, I'm sorry,

I didn't get that.

Can you repeat that for me?

Okay, listen carefully.

Lotion is water-based.

Use as much of that as you want.

Don't matter. It's water-based.

But cream, that's oil-based.

You hear me? Oil-based.

- Lil' dab'll do ya.

- Okay, so lotion, I go crazy.

- Yeah.

- Do what I want. All over.

- Now what's the story with cream again?

- Lil' dab'll do ya.

Thank you. Thank you.

Anyway, she was killed

via blunt force to the head.

You see this globe-shaped dent

here on her skull?

- Yeah.

- Well, weapon was about yea big.

- Well, what about the dismemberment?

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