Hannah Montana: Keeping It Real Page #4

---

with the situation...

Ah, first-timer's guilt.

You'll get over that

once you start spending that money.

Hey, have you seen

those new Z-Phones? lncredible.

Yeah, l'm more of a letter writer.

Anyway, l really need that picture back.

You know what l need back?

The hair l had in 1 980!

lt's on my back now.

(BOTH EXCLAlM lN DlSGUST)

Life is cruel, get over it. Now get out!

(PHONE RlNGS)

Talk!

-What are we gonna do?

-l don't know!

l don't want excuses!

The Rock's in town for his new movie.

He's staying at The Plaza,

and l need a picture that makes him

want to crawl under a rock.

And then a regular photo.

My son's a fan.

We can get you a picture of The Rock.

-l'm listening.

-So am l.

l will trade you

one humiliating picture of Hannah

for an even more humiliating picture

of The Rock.

Kid, if you can get me a picture of one

of the world's most popular movie stars

looking more ridiculous than

your picture of Hannah Montana,

you got a deal.

-Easy peasy lemon sleazy.

-Oh, boy.

Come on.

MAN ON TV:
He breaks a tackle!

He could go all the way!

Touchdown!

Time for another

Tennessee Touchdown Stomp.

Again?

(BOTH CHANTlNG)

BOTH:
Hoo-yah! Hoo-yah!

Hoo-yah!

Yeah!

Son, what is the matter with you?

l'm just a little stiff

from the volleyball game.

Well, sit up here and let me give you

a good, hard, Robby Ray rubdown!

No! No, no, no, Dad, really.

l'm all right!

Don't be silly. What you need

is a good old-fashioned

deep-tissue massage

from hands strengthened

by years of steel guitar playing.

-All right, here l come.

-(WHlSPERS) Here he comes.

-Get ready.

-Okay.

-Almost there.

-Almost there.

Okay! Okay! All right! l admit it!

l'm burned! l forgot the sunscreen!

No!

Wait a minute.

When did you figure it out?

(MOCKlNG) Ow! Ow! Ow!

l heard you halfway up the beach, son.

Luckily, l know just how to fix it.

So how are you feeling?

The milk starting to take the sting out?

Yeah, actually it is. How much longer

do l have to stay in here?

Mamaw said a couple of hours,

but don't worry,

l brought you a little snack.

Come on, Rock.

lt's time for your just desserts.

(SNlCKERlNG)

Are you sure?

Good choice.

l could've stuck with weddings

and bar mitzvahs, but no,

l had to go for glamour.

-That's it, l'm out of here.

-Lilly, no!

What? l don't look good

in strawberry-cream pie!

And l am not gonna look good with

that big old honking Miley necklace

on the cover of that rag.

Now, suck it up, we're going in.

-Can l help you?

-Actually, we are here to help you.

We are your complimentary mani-pedi,

hair and facial specialists,

Mr... Uh...

The Rock.

The Rock.

(GlGGLES)

Little bit of an airhead,

but she's the Picasso

of pimple-popping.

lsn't that right, Lillian?

That's right. No muss, no fuss, no pus.

That's me.

And l don't like pie.

Well, listen, ladies,

l really appreciate it,

but l don't have time for this, so sorry.

(EXCLAlMS)

Good gracious, look at those cuticles.

Oh!

You do not know

how close you came to a hangnail,

my little box-office sensation.

Well, l am gonna see

my mom a little later,

so l guess a quick buff wouldn't hurt.

-Maybe even a little clear coat.

-Now we're talking!

Now, we will take care of everything,

so just relax, close your little eyes,

and make sure you keep them closed

until the treatment's done.

Early opening could be hazardous

to your health.

And ours.

-Promise?

-l promise.

Pinky swear?

That's a pinky?

ROCK:

This feels like more than a clear coat.

Remember, it's got to look natural.

Trust me, they look perfect.

Why are you still putting stuff

on my lips?

l'm trying to save them.

They're dryer than the Sahara Desert

in the summer.

-Lillian.

-Yeah, and blot.

Mmm.

Well, that tastes good. What is that?

ls that strawberry?

Uh-huh.

And now,

for a relaxing earlobe massage.

Oh!

You might feel a slight pressure.

That's normal.

You do not know how much tension

builds up in those lobes, honey.

That's working. That's it.

-Yeah.

-That's the one.

-MlLEY:
And now for the best part.

-Great.

A Himalayan temple massage.

(EXCLAlMlNG)

Rocky likey.

(CHUCKLES)

(MOANS)

(ROCK SlGHS)

What are you...

What are you putting on my head?

Nothing. lt's just a hair follicle

extenuator thing.

-Well, what does it do?

-You'll see.

Okay, and open your eyes

in three, two, one.

Run!

Hey! What... Oh, my...

Hey, can't you people

just ever give me a break?

Run, run!

l can't go out there. Look at me.

l look like Grandma Rock.

-Come on, Miley. Run!

-l can't do it.

Left, right, left, right.

lt's just like walking, but faster!

No.

l can't sell this picture.

l've been on the other side

of the camera.

l know what it feels like.

lf l don't give him a break,

how can l expect anyone

to give me one?

But what about your secret?

l'd rather have everyone know

l was Hannah Montana

than know l was just as slimy

as those paparazzi.

ROCK:
l'm not decent!

lt's us.

You're not getting the earrings back.

Actually, l just wanted to say

this was wrong and sorry.

And for the record,

l knew it was wrong the whole time.

Okay.

-Why'd you do it?

-Long story.

You can explain it

while you're de-clawing me.

So all this started

just because you wanted a Z-Phone?

Yeah. l guess l just got so caught up

in having the next new thing.

You know, Miley, there's always

gonna be something new

coming around the corner.

Hey, that's what my mom says.

Uh, not that you remind me of my mom.

You know, except for the nails,

because these are her nails.

Here's your picture back.

l really am sorry.

Come on, Lilly. Let's go.

But, Miley, without the Rock picture,

how are we gonna get

the Hannah picture back?

Guess we're not.

ls there some kind of problem?

Yeah, but it's my problem.

l've bothered you enough.

-Well, hold on, maybe l can help.

-Really?

Well, sure,

you did the right thing by me.

And that was the best facial

l've ever had.

l mean, look at me. Am l not glowing?

Well, in that case,

maybe there is something you can do.

Thanks for finally giving me

my picture back.

Well, after l thought about it,

l figured it was the right thing to do.

Good choice.

Hey, Jackson.

You can probably get out now.

JACKSON:

That's okay. l'm kind of enjoying it.

Aren't you getting lonesome out there?

JACKSON:

Actually, l made some new friends.

Slow down, Tiger,

you're gonna get a tummy ache.

Sure hope nobody's lactose intolerant.

And, Boots, you're making a mess.

What are you, a dog?

(CAT MEOWS)

Sorry.

(EXCLAlMS)

-Dahliano, l...

-(EXCLAlMlNG) Don't speak.

-But l...

-No, no, no, don't speak.

Now you may speak.

Honey, this outfit deserves

more than speaking.

lt deserves the Hannah Happy Dance.

(SINGING) I love my outfit

I love my outfit

She loves her outfit

She loves her outfit

I am a genius

I am a genius

(LAUGHS)

So, where will we be wearing us?

The Oscars, the Emmys,

the Grammys?

The Sunshine Girls. l'm being honored

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes