Hannah Montana: Keeping It Real Page #6

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At all.

Maybe. l'm just guessing.

All right, l know it's a bit edgy for me,

but that's what lsis says l've got to do.

Surprise my audience.

Well, honey, let's think about this now.

Surprising them is one thing,

but scaring the bejeebees out of them

is another.

Hey, Daddy, l hate to say this,

but you're not exactly the hip audience

l'm trying to reach.

l'll have you know l'm very hip.

Fo'sizzle.

Okay, one, it's fo'shizzle.

Four years ago.

And second,

your idea of a big Saturday night

is sitting on the couch

with your easy-fit jeans unbuttoned

watching

Law & Order:
Old Coot Division.

Well, l'm sorry l'm such a geezer,

but it didn't seem to bother anybody

when l was writing 1 5 straight

number ones for Hannah Montana,

none of which involved

a face full of sputum.

-Sputum?

-l think it's old-coot for ''spit.''

Y'all like the next Hannah, right?

(BOTH STAMMERlNG)

One second.

(BOTH MURMURlNG)

We hate her.

-Why?

-She scares us.

-What do you guys know?

-Maybe they know what's good.

Please, they wouldn't know

what good is if it hit them in the face.

Hey, leave us out of

your little disputum.

-Nice wordplay.

-Thank you.

Well, at least we know the title

of Hannah's next album.

Like Me or I'll Hit You in the Face.

Come on. You guys are all

just trying to keep me in a

box.

And an artist has to keep moving.

And if you don't agree with me,

l don't care!

Miley, l'm sorry,

but this is a really bad idea.

A bad, scary idea.

Honey, l don't wanna tell you

what to do, but just...

Then don't!

l know what l am doing and

l am gonna prove it to you tomorrow.

The next Hannah is going to blow the

roof off of the Sunshine Girls Benefit.

Sweet niblets.

l'm going to have to buy myself

a truckload of Sunshine Girl cookies

to get myself out of this one.

Well, that was the best day ever.

Here you go, Rover.

Who's a good boy?

What is wrong with you?

Couldn't you find something better

to do with your day?

You know, the next time you're bored,

why don't you go hang out

with your friends or something?

Wait a minute.

You don't have any friends, do you?

Hey, l got plenty of friends. There's...

No, he's suing me.

Okay, but... But there's...

No, l'm suing him.

l'm really good friends

with my brother, Mateo.

Well, we will be

if he ever agrees to settle out of court.

You know, Rico,

maybe if you were just nice to people

instead of making them

dance like a monkey,

people would actually

want to hang out with you.

-Wait.

-What?

You're right.

l shouldn't have made you do all that.

lt's just making friends isn't something

l'm good at.

Well, gee, l wonder why.

l think it's because

the world is full of idiots.

My mom says it's my attitude.

ldiot.

Look, Rico, did you ever think that

maybe if you treated me a little better,

l'd be your friend?

Well, l was hoping

for a higher-class friend, but...

Rico.

Right. You'll really be my friend?

No catch?

Or condition.

So, you want to go back to my house

and pay my brother

to dance like a monkey?

Rico.

Fine.

-Want to go see a movie?

-Sure.

Hey, you want me

to wrap you up like a baby,

so you can get in for free?

Jackson, this could be

the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Nobody understands.

An artist has to grow.

DOLL:
Whee doggies!

Howdy, I'm Robby Ray. Let's kick it.

Yeah, we'll kick it, all right.

Anti-Hannah style.

Yeah, you're gonna see

tomorrow, buddy. You just...

l'm talking to a doll.

Yeah.

The new Hannah's going to sleep,

and she ain't going to brush her teeth

because l'm bad to the bone.

l'm bad to the bone.

l'm so excited,

and l know you all are, too,

so let's give a warm Sunshine welcome

to the Sunshine Girls'

Role Model of the Year,

Miss Hannah Montana!

(SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

(PUNK MUSIC PLAYING)

(SINGING) Well, I used to be a nice girl

Always doing what I'm told

And I'm here to tell you, baby

That it's getting kind of old

So say goodbye to all the sparkles

And all the pretty girly lace

I'm gonna chew your little heart up

And then I'll spit it in your face

I don't trust nobody

Parents, teachers or the schools

Gonna do just what I want to

Gonna break down all the rules

Gonna break down all the rules now

Gonna break down all the rules

I'm gonna break down

all the rules now

Gonna stick it to those fools

(EX CLAIMING)

Stop! Stop. Wait, wait, wait, you guys!

lt's just a song!

Stop! Stop it. lt's just a song.

l didn't mean it!

Stop! Put your parents down!

Wait, wait, wait.

Remember the old Hannah?

(SINGING) You're a true friend

You're here till the end

Sing with me.

(EXCLAlMlNG MUFFLED)

Guys! Guys, seriously, stop!

Someone is going to get hurt!

(EXCLAlMlNG)

Daddy, help me!

l'm a little tied up right now.

Great song, though! Great song!

Yo, Tarzana! Put me down!

Not like that!

(PANTlNG)

What's going on?

-You okay?

-Yeah, it was just a bad dream.

What were you going to do,

raccoon them to smithereens?

l just grabbed

what was on the nightstand.

You have an angry raccoon

on your nightstand?

Honey, Buster's also a light.

l just got him yesterday.

l don't know how people decorated

before the lnternet.

l don't know what's scarier, my dream

or the fact that you paid for that thing.

Well, l'll tell you the truth, honey,

if you want to talk about it,

if you're still mad at me,

Buster's a heck of a listener.

You were right.

l don't want to be

a hard-edged Hannah.

That's not the kind of message

l want to send to my fans.

But what about

keeping your audience interested?

There's got to be a way

to keep them interested and still be me.

Sure, lsis can change who she is

all the time,

but l like who l am,

and l'm not going to change

just to hold on to an audience

that hasn't even left me yet.

Well, as long as you're true to yourself,

your fans will always be there.

l hope you're right.

Now, go ahead,

tell me how wrong l was. Bring it on.

l'd love to, but the truth is,

l was the one that was wrong.

Raccoon-swinging daddy say what?

Yeah, as an artist, you've got

to have the freedom to explore.

l wasn't giving you that.

Aw. Thanks, Daddy.

How am l ever going to become

an angry, misunderstood teenager

with a daddy like you?

l heard shouting! What's going on?

Why does everyone

have a light-up critter but me?

No, Dave doesn't light up.

He's a pencil sharpener.

You just lift his tail and...

l don't need to see that.

l never grow tired of you.

Dahli!

Hannah!

Darling, what are you doing here?

l just came by

to cancel my new Hannah look.

l won't be needing the torn fishnets,

the combat boots or the bullwhip.

On second thought,

send me that bullwhip.

l could use that on my brother.

Yes, yes, of course. Well, bye-bye.

Oh!

l see. lsis is here.

Oops.

Little slow on the draw there, partner.

lSlS:
Dahliano, l love my new look!

Ooh. Awkward.

This is your next-next?

Well, it seems to work for you.

Yo, Dahli, on second thought,

give me that bullwhip now.

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