Hannah Montana: One in a Million Page #2

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Give them space. They'll let us know

how it went when they're ready.

- OK.

- How'd it go?

Great? Perfect? Awome?

Fantastic? Tell me.

Fine. l had a wonderful time.

So did l. Let's go.

- But...

- The woman wants to leave,

let's not stop her.

- Thank you.

- My pleasure.

What goofy thing did your dad

do this time? (laughs)

My dad? How do you know

it was my dad's fault?

Have you met your dad?

Yeah, l have.

And l've also met your uptight mother.

- My mother is not uptight.

- (horn honks)

(Heather) Lillian, move it!

Oh, yeah, she's a real ray of sunshine.

- This is not her fault!

- lt's not my daddy's fault either!

l was gonna give up sho for you.

- Well, now you don't have to.

- Fine.

- Good!

- Goodbye.

- (horn honks)

- She is not uptight!

You know what? l don't need a sister.

l like being an only child.

Hey, Mil, l got a pimple on my back

l can't reach. Could you...?

Let me go get my goggl.

# Ooh, oh, oh #

Morning, Daddy! l made you breakfast.

Thanks, honey,

but l'm still not gonna tell you.

What happened last night

was between Lilly's mom and me.

And l rpect that.

Really? So why did you write

''please, please tell me''

in little tiny piec of bacon?

'Cause the full strips

would've taken up all the room. Duh.

Sorry, honey,

this just isn't your fight.

- You're gonna have to stay out of it.

- Get your own darn breakfast.

Fine. Woman insists on paying half the

check and won't take no for an answer.

- lt's ridiculous.

- That's why you're mad?

l said l'm not talking about it.

Man tri to be a gentleman

and suddenly he's a caveman.

That's what y'all were upset about?

Both of you wanted to pay the check?

This is so awome!

l've got to go tell Lilly!

And, Daddy, you might want

to get the shells out of there.

l like my eggs extra crunchy.

Caveman.

She's the one that slapped

down that card so fast,

it got meat juice

all over my puffy shirt.

- Lilly! l found out everything!

- l know!

l can't believe they fought

over something so stupid.

l know. Now we can still be sisters.

Yeah. All your dad has to do is

apologize for not letting my mom pay.

Uptight momma's daughter say what?

l said your dad just has to apologize.

For what? Being a gentleman?

Your mother needs to apologize.

For what? Asserting her independence?

Well, she asserted it all over

my daddy's little puffy shirt.

- Well, he was being pigheaded!

- He was being polite.

Haven't you ever heard of Southern

hospitality? Now get off my land!

(gasps)

There, Rico.

That's the last of the sand. Happy?

Something don't look right, Jackson.

But what? What could it be?

- Oh, no.

- Oh, y.

The new sand do not please me.

Put it all back.

- l spent two hours...

- Unls you admit

that you can't take what you dish out.

Never.

Hold up, Jackson.

Let me help you with that.

Oh, wait, l don't help anybody

because l'm (rolls ''r'') Rico.

- Oh, so you're Rico?

- Uh, yeah.

- l'm enjoying every minute of it.

- Yeah?

l'm gonna enjoy every minute

of pounding your face in.

- What?

- You picked on my brother

- for the last time.

- What little brother?

Oh, you remember, don't you, Rico?

The kid with the unibrow very similar

to this handsome gentleman.

l believe you called it

an ''ay-ay-eyebrow.''

- What did you do?

- Me?

l'm not the one who said ''bring it on''

when the kid told you

his big brother

was gonna beat you up Sunday at noon.

Oh. Well, look at that. Right on time.

Wait a minute.

He set me up. He's Rico.

You just love picking on little kids,

don't you?

- lt's true. He's a bad man.

- (fabric rips)

(Jackson) Look out! Move, move, move.

Wah! (Jackson grunts)

Nobody do Rico like Rico.

(cackl)

And then she was like... (scoffs)

And then l was like, ''What?'' Chicks.

Hi, Oliver.

Ready for lnternational Relations Week?

Oh, totally. My country,

Okenland, is ready to rock.

We've got, uh,

we got gorgeous beach, gorgeous girls,

and our main export is love. (chuckl)

Good for you.

Want to hear about Sarahtopia?

Not really.

Our national color is green,

we use only alternative fuels

and our chief export is mulch

made from our own waste products.

- You have an army?

- No.

(whispers) Good luck.

You won't be so smug when your people

get sick of paying $ 1 8

for a gallon of gas, revolt

and hang you by your thumbs.

Bye.

- Blocking my locker.

- You're blocking mine.

Show some (Southern accent)

Southern hospitality and move.

Assert your independence and move me.

OK, what are you two arguing

about this time?

Did somebody forget their

friendship week-aversary?

We don't have week-aversari anymore

because we are no longer friends.

And this would've been our 200th

and Lilly would've gotten that

charm bracelet she wants. Oh, well.

Well, l don't need prents

from someone who insults my family.

- l insulted your family?

- Thanks for admitting it.

l wasn't finished!

Check-grabbing mother...

- (gasps)

- Your ''me man, you woman'' pappy.

You know what you two need? A vacation

on the beautiful beach of Okenland.

- Wear a bikini, get a free churro.

- This isn't funny!

- This isn't funny!

- l said it first.

l can sing. Ha!

''l can sing. Ha!''

Welcome to the first day

of lnternational Relations Week.

(plays fanfare on kazoo)

Today, four nations

will demonstrate world trade.

Which will they be?

Well, we have Okenland,

Sarahtopia, Lillitania and...

Somebody else, somebody else,

somebody else, somebody else.

Hello! Milantis!

Uh, you know, uh,

today is a Milantian holiday.

Banks, post office, all closed.

Please rpect our tradition.

Yeah, her old, backwards traditions.

Then again, Milantis is always ready

to stand up for what it believ in.

And those beliefs will be tted

in today's debate

over a big pile of fish!

Ooh, sorry they're a little ripe.

l'm on a teacher's salary.

Now, you four nations

border the Corellian Sea.

Milantis has had an excellent

fishing season and, holy mackerel,

owns all the fish.

What will you do to get what you need?

Let's start trading.

Well, my country

harns the power of wind.

We could trade you energy for fish.

Or l could just give you the fish,

because in Milantis,

that's the classy thing to do.

Well, in Lillitania,

we don't take handouts.

We like to pay for our own fish

and half the tip!

lt's not a handout.

lt's a generous, loving gture

from the people of Milantis.

l wouldn't expect you

to know about that

since you are

from Lilly-tiny-brainia.

Well, at least my country

don't sound like a cure for diarrhea.

l'll take the fish if it gets me an A.

At least Okenland isn't threatened

when someone wants

to buy them one little dinner.

We don't need you buying us anything.

Lillitania is an independent nation!

Milantis is a country rich in tradition!

Now take the dang fish!

- l don't want your stinking fish!

- (screams)

This one's mine.

- Great, then this one can be yours.

- (gasps)

- Oh! Cold fish! Cold fish!

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