Hannah Montana: One in a Million Page #5

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hanging around with boring old me.

- OK, see ya.

- Daddy!

You can't seriously be jealous of me

spending time with the Jonas Brothers.

You're having fun writing for them.

And that song you wrote's really good.

They're just gonna

keep wanting more, Dad,

and then other people will, and then...

And l won't have time

for Hannah Montana?

Or Miley.

Now, darlin', let me tell you something.

You know, l could write

a hundred songs for those boys,

but there's one thing l can't do:

That's put my arm around them

and say they're my little girl.

Well, l could,

but it'd be extremely weird.

- So you're not bored with me?

- Bored with you?

l love writing songs for Hannah Montana.

Almost as much

as l love being Miley's daddy.

You know, it is a shame

you didn't like those boys though.

l had a vision

about getting them and Hannah...

Hold on, Pops.

l said l didn't like them spending

so much time with you.

Now, with me?

That would be off the hook.

Get it? Off the hook.

# Come on, guys

Tell me what we're doing

# We're hanging around

when we could be all over the place

# The sun is shining

just the way we like it

# Let's get out of this hallway

Show the world our face

# lt's Friday

but there's nowhere to go

# Anywhere is cool

'cause we're not going home

# We can do anything we want to do

# lt's all up to me and you

# Turn this park into a club

# The stars are lights

and the moon is the vibe from above

# This skateboard here's our ride

So pull on up

# Everyone is waiting for us

# Anywhere we are, anywhere we go

Everybody knows

# We got the party with us

Anywhere we are, anywhere we go

# Everybody knows

We got the party with us

# Anywhere we are, anywhere we go

Everybody knows

# We got the party with us

- # We got the party with us #

- (cheering)

(whistl)

- Ready, darlin'?

- Oh, yeah.

All right, Daddy, you take Joe

and Kevin. Nick is all mine.

- # Oh, when the saints

- Eat this, suckers!

- Whoopsi.

- Wrong studio. (chuckl)

Our bad. Keep on marching in.

- Where are they?

- l don't know.

They promised they

were gonna be here.

And we always keep our promis!

Duck and cover, Daddy!

lt's the return of the Jonai! (squeals)

- (gasping)

- Loser!

- (pants) How do you do that?

- The lungs of a singer, baby,

which means Mamaw sleeps

in (singsong) your room!

But this isn't fair!

Why should l have to give up my room?

Because you've got

the lungs of a (singsong) loser!

She wouldn't even be coming here

if it wasn't for your stupid award.

An lnternational Music Award

is like winning an Oscar.

lf it was a stupid award,

you'd win brains down. (chuckl)

Oh, man, this is really

gonna ms up your back. (laughs)

Well, careful with that box, Robby Ray.

That's got my fancy wig. l only

air it out for parti and funerals.

- Sorry, Mom.

- l can't believe you had the music on

so loud in the car. You didn't

hear a word l was saying.

Really. What in the world

was l thinking?

Well, you missed my whole story

about that big old hairy mole

- that l had found on my...

- Kids!

- Say hello to your grandma, quick!

- (both) Mamaw!

Oh, there they are. My handsome

grandson and my beautiful granddaughter,

the youngt person ever to win the

lnternational Music Awards Female Artist

of the Year! (exaggerated inhal)

My word, that is a mouthful. No wonder

those award shows are always so long.

Hey, you know what else is long? The

walk from my bedroom to the bathroom.

Miley's is right next door.

And it has a view of the ocean.

See dolphins in the morning.

(squeaking)

Would you give it a rt?

She's in your room.

Mamaw, Sunday is gonna be perfect.

l am getting an award

l've always dreamed of,

Daddy's prenting it to me

and now everyone l love is here.

You, (under her breath) Aunt Dolly...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Back this tractor trailer up.

You mean to tell me that bottle-blonde,

shrink-wrapped five pounds of baloney

- in a three-pound bag...

- l know you don't like her, but...

Son, it is not just her butt

l don't like.

lt's her head, her to

and everything in between.

Mamaw, this is

the biggt award of my life.

Can't you guys just get along

for a weekend? Please, Mamaw?

Oh, sweetie, l gus

for your sake l can look the other way.

And l do mean the other way.

l don't even want to see that woman.

- That might be kind of hard.

- Why? We don't have to pick her up?

Can't she just hitch a ride

on one of her flying monkeys?

We don't have to pick her up, Mamaw.

(under her breath) She's staying here.

Award-winning granddaughter say what?

Hey!

l can see dolphins

from my gut room.

Well, shoot, that's nothing.

There's a snot-green blowfish

right here in the living room.

Now, Ruthie, if you're gonna be mean,

talk to the booty

'cause the hand's off duty

Well, l would love to, but that booty

has been nipped and tucked

so many tim

l just can't hardly find it.

Well, l ain't having

no problem finding yours.

Family! So glad to have you here.

Good tim, good tim. Yeah.

# Come on

# You get the limo out front

# Hot styl, every shoe, every color

# Yeah, when you're famous

it can be kind of fun

# lt's really you

but no one ever discovers

# Who would have thought

that a girl like me

# Would double as a superstar

# You get the bt of both worlds

# Chill it out, take it slow

Then you rock out the show

# You get the bt of both worlds

# Mix it all together and you know

that it's the bt of both worlds #

(laughs)

- # Yeah, yeah #

- This whole feud started over a boy?

Yep. lt was high school.

Mamaw was having a summer romance,

and then Aunt Dolly bounced in and...

Well, that was pretty much

all she had to do.

Mamaw never forgave Dolly

for stealing the love of her life,

- Mr. Elvis Prley.

- No!

- Y!

- No!

- Y!

- No!

Y!

Y! Y! Elvis.

Elvis with the pelvis and the hair

and the hunka, hunka burnin' love.

Guys, l haven't slept all night

and my back is killing me.

So please, for the love of all that is

good and pure in this forsaken universe,

zip it!

Good morning, everybody!

Well, Jackson, you lazy bon.

Get your rump out of bed!

Well, what do you know? The floor's

more comfortable than the couch.

- Morning, Mamaw Stewart.

- Hey, Lilly, you cutie-patootie.

lt's too bad Dolly isn't here

to see what a real blonde looks like.

- Mamaw...

- l'm sorry. l'll chillax.

l'm Hannah Montana's grandma.

l got to keep up on the teen scene

so l can be fricky-fricky frh.

OK, now that is just wicky-wicky-weird.

Hey, Mamaw, come here.

Will you look at my nails?

What should l do for the awards show?

Uh, sparkly or non-sparkly?

l think non-sparkly.

Sparkly just kind of feels trampy.

Hey, look at my sparkly nails!

Just had them done for the awards show.

Exhibit A.

Come on, Mamaw.

Now, you promised you'd be nice.

Aunt Dolly's being nice.

Well, of course. l'm always nice.

At least that's what

The King used to tell me.

You know, l gave Elvis that nickname.

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