Hansel & Gretel Get Baked Page #2

Synopsis: The pothead Ashton Crawford and his girlfriend Gretel are smoking in her room special marijuana called Black Forest supplied by the drug dealer Manny and produced by an old lady named Agnes that lives in Pasadena. Gretel's brother Hansel arrives home and Gretel tells that she will bake gingerbread cookie while Ashton will go directly to Agnes to buy more Black Forest. However Agnes is a witch and captures Ash to eat his flesh and drain his youth to maintain youth. Gretel seeks her boyfriend out and suspects of Agnes, but the police officers Ritter and Hart do not give credit to her words since Ritter knows that Ash is a pothead. Meanwhile the gang that supplies weed to Manny learns that he is selling Black Forest to his costumers and they threaten him and their leader Jorge sends a message to Agnes through Manny. However, the drug dealer is turned into a zombie by Agnes and Jorge and his gang pay a visit to her and are also turned into zombies. Soon Gretel and Manny's girlfriend Bianca
Genre: Comedy, Horror
Director(s): Duane Journey
Production: Tribeca Films
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
4.3
TV-MA
Year:
2013
86 min
Website
123 Views


Manny, focus!

Please.

No, I haven't seen him.

Thanks for friggin' nothing.

He did call me last night, though.

What did you talk about?

He wanted agnes' address.

Agnes? Who's agnes?

Oh, she's this sweet

little old lady, man.

But she's got this killer...

Black forest high?

Baby, that's what

we're smoking right?

Yeah that's right baby, damn!

You got a good-ass memory,

mamacita.

Focus, manny.

Okay, uh...

I don't know, he's probably

smoked the f*** out.

And he's just crawling

in front of her house, man.

I warned him,

that's some sick sh*t.

Mmm!

Text me her address.

Tell her manny sent you, okay?

All right, where were we, baby?

Come here, oh!

Where you been?

Have a life.

All right, see you guys.

Can you take me to pasadena?

What's in pasadena?

A little old lady.

Hello.

Mr. Woodsman, there's

a police officer on the phone,

He says he needs to speak to

a manager right away.

Oh, thanks, sam.

Hello, officer,

this is norm woodsman.

Apg&e, district manager,

what can I do for you?

Well, yes, we are missing a van.

Thank you.

Kevin, what happened to you?

Now I really need to make sure you

girls come back soon,

And you tell all of

your sorority sisters.

Oh, we will.

Excuse me, I'm looking for agnes.

That's me, how can I help you?

I was wondering if you've seen my

boyfriend, ashton.

Is he missing?

Yeah, he came by here to get some stuff

and never came back.

Oh, no, I would definitely remember

such a tasty, pretty young man.

But manny told me

he gave ash your address.

Oh, well, I'm sure

he's gonna turn up.

I've looked everywhere, guess I'll have

to go to the police now, thank you.

Oh, hey!

Yeah but I...

Why don't you just come on in,

and we'll just talk about it.

So kind of you.

It's the least I can do.

Just make yourself at home.

Thank you.

What's your name, dearie?

Gretel.

That's german.

That's where I'm from.

Now, here we go,

Here we go, here we go,

here we go.

Just a little bit of tea,

will make anything feel a lot better.

You know, I just don't understand him.

Why won't he call me back?

Boys will be boys.

Come on, you need to really have your tea

before it gets cold.

Do you have any sugar?

Surely.

One or two?

Two please.

for the love of god...

What?

Eh, just a little knock,

I'll be right back.

It's probably just

my brother, Hansel.

just keep a little bit

of an eye on her.

You must be Hansel.

What took you so long?

Nearly had to go to colorado

to find a spot.

Or you could have just parked

in my driveway.

Your driveway, yeah, okay.

Would have been easier.

So has she seen ashton?

No.

That's definitely

gotta be cold by now.

Let me just put on a fresh new pot,

It will only take me a minute.

Okay.

We should really be going.

It will just take me a minute.

I'm sorry, I need to find my boyfriend,

not sit around drinking tea.

Gretel.

Look, I'm really just trying to help.

She's just under a lot of stress

from looking for her boyfriend.

I think I just need

to take her home,

But, thank you for your time, we're sorry

to have troubled you.

There's no trouble.

I love having young people around.

Thank you.

You know it'd be nice, if you could be

a little more supportive.

You're adopted.

Good boy, franz.

I met your girlfriend.

She's very beautiful,

and so young.

It's just a curse,

growing old.

Fortunately for you,

You don't have to.

Mmm, this is better.

So, let me get this straight.

Your boyfriend went out to

get something,

Which you won't say what it is

And then he didn't return.

How long ago was that?

About 24 hours ago,

right, Hansel?

Yeah, uh, I mean,

give or take an hour.

What were you two fighting about?

We weren't fighting.

He went out to get some stuff,

And never came back.

Would that "stuff"

Happen to be marijuana?

Because, one ashton crawford has

racked himself up

Quite a few frequent flyer points

In our misdemeanor

marijuana program.

So? He's still missing.

Come on, hart, this is

a waste of time

Out looking for some

burned-out pothead.

What about the old lady?

Guys, I mean, come on, aren't you

at least gonna go,

You know, talk to this woman?

I mean, isn't it a felony to be

growing marijuana?

Well, it depends on the amount

And if there's an intent to sell.

Well, I mean, she's selling.

Really?

Did you buy some?

No.

You?

Did you see her sell marijuana

to anyone?

No.

Did you see any marijuana plants?

'cause you want us to bust

a senior citizen

For possession of a drug with

intent to sell,

But yet, you don't have any

evidence.

But manny said that she was...

Sorry. What?

Sorry, excuse me,

Manny?

Is that, like,

the local drug dealer?

No.

'cause if you wanna name names

Or drop locations, then we might have

something to talk about.

I don't have anything to say.

It's kind of what I thought.

Let's go, hart.

Hold on.

Give us the old woman's

address, okay.

And if we get time

We'll stop by, we'll ask a few

questions, all right.

Hart, you got to be kidding me.

Now, let us know

if he turns up, okay?

You know, and if there's anything else

you fine citizens need

Please don't hesitate to call.

Because, after all,

we are here to serve and protect.

Good night.

See, they didn't care

just like I said.

So, what do you wanna do now?

How is that sh*t?

I killed a bumblebee today.

How will we...

Gangster!

You! Yin and yang,

What the f*** you all smoking?

This amazing weed we got from manny.

It's new, it's called

black forest high.

Manny said, he's dropping

the other stuff.

He did, huh?

Yeah.

Tastes like sh*t compared to this.

Tastes like sh*t.

Costs, like, twice the price.

F*** that.

The high is like, twice as nice.

Shut the f*** up.

Give me the f***ing joint.

We came to the decision

earlier today

That we are not gonna be sharing any of the...

Oh, yeah you will be sharing.

Yeah, man, have a toke.

Well, everyone does.

Yeah, we all do.

Give me all that sh*t.

What?

Empty your pockets of all that

black forest sh*t.

Maybe my boys won't f*** you

up too bad.

Huh.

Where the f*** is manny?

Our bad.

Look here...

- It tickles.

- It tickles?

I mean, I can tell.

Sh*t.

Get lost, baby.

Now!

Carlos.

What's up, man?

What bring you out to the valley?

It's time to get paid, fool.

Yeah.

Sabes que compadre?

I actually, haven't been moving as much

product this week.

When rich valley kids don't have enough

money for weed.

You know what I'm saying.

No, I don't know what the f*** your saying.

What I do know,

That you're moving

that black forest sh*t.

So, why don't you hand it over.

Come on, man, I actually sold out

of all her weed, man.

Her weed.

Her weed.

Her f***ing weed.

You sell her weed?

'cause if you're selling her weed

on my turf,

That makes it my f***ing weed.

His weed.

Get this f***ing b*tch.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

Look what I found.

Now, wait, that's agnes' money, man.

I got to give her something.

Oh, you got to give her something.

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David Tillman

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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