Hansel & Gretel Get Baked Page #3

Why don't you give her that.

You tell that f***ing puta

that she wants to push her sh*t on my turf

She's gonna have to f***ing pay

like everybody else.

This f***ing sh*t, this ain't nothing but

a down payment, bro.

So, when she tells you or gives you

some f***ing lip,

You look her dead in the f***ing face

and you tell her,

Carlos said, "he's gonna come to your

casa villa rasa

"and f*** you up personally."

Man, but she's just this little, sweet

grandma, man.

Oh, little grandma, little...

I will eat that little, tiny thing

like that.

That's perfect, bro, the way I like them.

She could spit her dentures out.

Suck my dick.

Well, yeah, man, I got it, man.

No.

You don't got it.

You're gonna tell her exactly what I said,

word-for-f***ing-word.

Yeah, man.

I got it, man, don't worry about it.

It's cool, I'll tell her

everything you told me.

What the f*** are you still

doing here?

Ain't you a messenger boy, now?

Yeah, yeah, I am.

Fake little ass sh*t.

That's what he said.

Well, I hope he's got

a really big dick.

You just don't get it, do you?

Carlos will hurt you.

I've seen him and his homeys tear a guy

apart for being short on his cash.

Like, tear his ass apart.

Blood and sh*t was everywhere.

How many homeys?

He could show up with like,

four or five badass pendejos.

Then I think I might,

need you to help me.

No.

No, no you can't ask me to do that.

See, carlos' got a long memory.

He will hunt me down and he will

eat me for breakfast.

You know what I'm saying?

Hmm.

Sounds like my kind of man.

Cookies?

Here, please, have some cookies.

Um, what?

Cookies.

Can I use your phone?

I just wanna do a little text.

Okay.

Do you spell "f*ggot"

with one "g" or two?

Okay, I think we're just gonna

go with two "g's."

Now, why don't you just eat

your little cookies.

No, no, no!

No, no! Oh, f***!

Oh, sh*t, I'm dead.

Oh, sh*t, I'm dead.

I'm dead!

No, we're dead!

We're dead!

No, you were right the first time.

You about done?

Yeah.

Did you get them posted at the school?

Yeah.

Well, then what about the park?

Yeah.

Look, I've posted them everywhere

we've talked about, all right.

There's nothing we can do

at this point.

I mean, we just have to wait.

Okay?

Take me by that old witch's place.

I wanna talk to her.

No.

No, it's not a good idea.

Why not?

Because she can have you

arrested for harassment.

I'm not harassing her. I'm...

I'm investigating her.

Oh, okay.

And I guess, the nazis were just

instituting a simple relocation plan.

Screw you, Hansel.

No, I mean, you're my sister,

it's kind of gross.

Oh.

damn.

That black forest bud is...

Whew!

That's powerful, man.

Where's my phone?

What? No, no, no, b*tch.

F*ggot!

F***ing f*ggot?

What the f***?

This b*tch wants to play

games with me, huh?

Octavio? Hey!

Do you wanna get up now?

Jorge?

Open up, b*tch!

Gonna try and take

Carlos' share, huh?

Excuse me?

Oh.

I was looking for some old lady.

You got some old lady

living in here?

No, no old ladies here.

F*** manny! I'm gonna

kill that pendejo, man.

All right, mamacita,

let me ask you something.

You ever heard of something called

the, uh, black forest high?

Doesn't ring a bell.

Doesn't ring a f***ing bell.

Motherf***er.

Check out the coffee table,

guapo.

You know, maybe it's just me...

But I don't like it

when no pretty-ass b*tch

Tries to play me for a fool, hmm.

'cause this don't look

like no grow-house I ever seen.

What's a grow-house?

What's a grow-house?

Where is your crop?

It's in the basement.

But you don't wanna go there.

Oh, I wanna go there.

But, see, right now, you're not gonna

tell me what I wanna do.

So, why don't you take me down

to the basement.

There you go.

No, no.

You open the door.

Were getting the whole 50 cent tour.

As you wish.

This used to be a funeral home.

That's where they...

they'd embalm the bodies.

Octavio!

The last tenants made this room into

a wine cellar,

But I don't really drink wine.

This is where I let my little darlings

spread their roots.

Damn, b*tch!

What the f*** kind of place is this?

An old bomb shelter,

That I just recycled for my needs.

Damn, mama, how did you get these plants

to grow so big?

Magic,

And of course, just a little bit of my

own special brand...

Of...

Fertilizer...

To get it going.

Speaking of which,

I know just what it needs

To make it

The best crop...

Ever.

Yeah.

Check it out, homes.

We hit the f***ing jackpot.

I'm gonna harvest it.

There're not ready yet.

They look f***ing ready to me.

They might be big

but they're not mature.

Huh. Well, guess what?

I tell you when to harvest.

I don't think so.

Franz!

You know,

There's a little rumor going around.

Manny said, that you told him

You wanted me to

take my dentures out

And do something nasty to you.

Now, could that be true?

F*** you! You crazy f***ing b*tch.

F***ing is just not

on the menu tonight.

Mmm.

What a bummer!

Ahhh!

Ugh!

There's got to be something.

Manny. What the f***!

All magic comes at a price.

It's gonna be okay.

franz! Franz, franz, franz,

franz, franz...

Franz? Franz.

Sit now.

You're gonna be a very,

very good boy.

You're gonna be a very good...

Boy.

Now, who wants a treat?

Franz, would you like a little treat,

my baby doll?

Good doggy.

Are those fingers?

Waste not want not, right?

You're gonna kill me,

aren't you?

Well, since you're

here hanging out,

You might as well enjoy and get

a little stoned.

Oh, that's so badass.

Help!

Help! Somebody help me!

No one can hear you.

Help!

No one can hear you.

I'll be back in a little bit.

I just got to go clean up a zombie.

And, I'll come check in

on you later.

Good morning, norm.

Oh, hey, sam.

Uh...

I don't know if this is important

or not, but...

My son came home

stoned last night.

Well, after we finished

discussing it...

He told me about this new strain of

marijuana that some old lady is selling.

Did he say where?

Same area as my power surge.

Thank you.

Manny's missing?

Yeah, no one's seen him since...

Aren't you that little guera who was

all up in his grill the other day?

Same one.

Maybe you two should have taken me seriously.

Yeah, you're right.

I was thinking about going to the police...

Don't bother.

As soon as they see manny has a record

they'll blow it off.

"serve and protect" my ass!

What do we do?

I know where they are.

But, it's gonna be dangerous.

Definitely illegal.

Somebody's gonna get hurt.

The car's right here.

We can't just go in there

all guns blazing, b*tch.

We needs to case the place first.

Find out if she's home or no.

That kinda sh*t.

Smart.

You have done this before, right?

well...

Don't tell me we're popping

your b&e cherry.

B&e? Damn, girl.

Breaking and entering.

Yeah, well I guess we are.

Okay, well since you're the expert,

what should we do first?

We needs to find out

if she home.

I mean, it looks empty to me.

Yeah, but she's an old lady.

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