Hansel & Gretel Get Baked Page #5

How are we gonna get past

the damn dog?

Stop moving so much.

I can't think.

Well, moving helps me think.

I can't think of anything.

Miss hudson told me

I was a greek tragedy.

Damn, if that b*tch ain't right.

God! Greek tragedy!

That's it, bianca.

What if this hellhound thing is like

the cerberus in the story of orpheus?

You know, the cerberus.

The three-headed dog that

guarded the gates of hell.

Orpheus sang to it,

and put it to sleep.

Okay. I got this.

I sing all the time.

blast, blast, blast

motherf***er tried to dash

so I capped them

in the ass with my gat...

Stop, stop,

stop, stop!

What?

That's not music.

Yeah it is.

You just don't know it.

You can't sing.

Okay.

Since, you think, you know,

all about music

And cerberus and sh*t.

Then go ahead.

Why don't you sing?

rose, rose, rose red

will I ever see thee wed

I shall marry at my will

Seriously?

rose, rose, rose red

will I ever see thee wed

I shall marry at my will

said rose

Oh, you're awake, my little pretty.

What are you doing?

Fixing dinner.

Unless, you're a virgin.

What?

Of course, I'm not a virgin.

You're a virgin.

It's gonna call for a little bit

of extra magic.

Crazy b*tch.

What are you doing?

I left skittles, so I could find

my way back.

Oh.

What?

Okay.

I kind of had the munchies and I kind of...

You ate my trail?

It's not like you said, "hey, b*tch,

don't eat the skittles.

"I'm laying down a trail."

how the hell was I supposed to know?

Damn! Why would you eat skittles

that were lying down on the ground?

Excuse me, maybe I was

Running from zombies, freaking out and

I needed some comfort food.

It's this way.

Are you sure?

No, but I'm tired of you

bitching about skittles.

Come on.

you're so screwed.

Oh god! Oh, god!

Help!

Help!

Come on.

Help!

Hansel!

Gretel!

Gretel, come on!

I can't get the straps off!

Hurry!

Oh, what the f***!

What the f***!

My pretty little boy,

my pretty, pretty little boy,

We have a little bit of

unfinished business.

Are you all right?

Are they going to be all right?

Yeah.

Thank god for kevlar.

That's true.

You kids are gonna be okay?

Yeah.

I think so.

I think she's dead.

Oh, yeah.

Good night, kids.

I should have trusted you.

And I should have...

Believed you.

What have we here?

Oh! Aren't you the pretty one.

And look at that collar.

Somebody loves you, huh?

Do you have any id?

No, you don't.

Well, how would you like

to come home with uncle Norm.

And just until we find your family.

You are just so pretty.

Yes, you are.

We're gonna go to

my nice, sweet home.

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