Happy Campers Page #2

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EXT. THE WOODS--FLASH FORWARD DAY ]

]

Wendy looks up a wiggling rope, cheering an unseen climbing ]

camper. The Camper body SLAMS down out of frame. Wendy aims ]

a "Don't give up" cheer downward. ]

SMOOTH NARRATOR (V.O.)

Wendy's monarchy of relentlessly

daisy-fresh enthusiasm could not

possibly last. Or could it?

EXT. CENTER OF CAMP--FLASH FORWARD DUSK ]

]

Wendy is lowering a flag reading DAY 4 while booming out ]

a hymn to camp spirit. A semi-circle of other counselors ]

stare dumbfounded. ]

]

COOL COUNSELOR WICHITA ]

Uh, Wendy dear, the kids are back ]

in the cabins... ]

]

WENDY ]

Oh please, you silly geese, like ]

you need to be a child to do the ]

sing-a-long... ]

]

Wendy re-blasts into song. Snorting out smiling surrender, ]

the other counselors slowly warble along with her. ]

EXT. CENTER OF CAMP--PRESENT DAY

The bandaid fairy Pixel adhesives Wendy and the rest of the ]

circle. She then flutters over to stick TWO CAMPER BOYS, ]

who are both LATINO, but of highly different income brackets. ]

]

UPPER INCOME LATINO KID ]

You're one of those charity kids, ]

aren't you? The newspaper sends a ]

bunch of broke kids to camp every ]

year. You're one of them. I can ]

tell. ]

]

LOWER INCOME LATINO KID ]

Why are you talking sh*t--I'm not ]

one of them. ]

]

The bespectacled, profoundly geeky DONALD DARK, lowers a ]

clipboard before the Lower Income Boy. ]

]

DONALD DARK ]

Hey Hector, I just need you to check ]

this box so the people at the ]

Oregonian Send A Kid To Camp Fund ]

know you got here safe and sound. ]

]

The Upper Income Spanish Kid detonates in an "Aah" of ]

laughter. The Lower Income Spanish Kid glumly checks the ]

paper and makes a surly exit. Donald comprehends the ]

situation with an agonized body heave. He wallops the ]

clipboard against his forehead then turns to a NASTY GIRL. ]

NASTY CAMPER GIRL

This camp sucks sh*t! A good counselor

is supposed to know when we eat and

where are the horses and why--Fu--

uck!

A burst of blood pours from the losing-it girl's nose. The

freaked-out Donald Duck backs away into the flagpole.

SMOOTH NARRATOR (V.O.)

Donald Dark liked to think of himself

as a witty, intelligent young man

trapped in a geek's body.

EXT. THE GRASS BEFORE THE ARCHERY RANGE--FLASH FORWARD DAY ]

]

Donald claps his hands trying to rouse his volleyball team. ]

A ball thunders right into his face. His team bursts into ]

laughter. Donald weakly smiles. ]

SMOOTH NARRATOR (V.O.)

Unfortunately, and Donald Dark had

known this for years, a witty,

intelligent young man in a geek's

body is still a geek.

EXT. OUTSIDE BOYS' CABIN--FUTURE NIGHT

Donald and some other male counselors patrol past some

cabins, casually wielding flashlights. A SLEEPWALKER GIRL

shuffles in the background.

DONALD:

I had a sleepwalker at my last camp.

Important thing's not to panic...so

anyway, like I was saying, once the ]

campers found out my full name was ]

Donald Dark, their brilliant minds ]

led them to call me Donald Dark Duck, ]

which turned into Daffy, for Daffy ]

Duck is indeed a dark duck. Then ]

my name became Retarded Marshmallow ]

Head. Don't ask... ]

]

MALE COUNSELOR (JASPER) ]

I won't. Listen man, I'm sure this ]

summer will be a lot different... ]

]

A group of smiling male campers are revealed to be sinisterly ]

huddled at a window behind them. ]

]

EAVESDROPPING MALE CAMPER ]

"Retarded Marshmallow Head." I like ]

it. I like it a lot. ]

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